Severest Slowroll Ever?

[rubbrband]

One of my 1st times B&M poker I called with AA on river thinking I was beat. Since I was the last caller I wanted to wait and see what other two players had instead of them mucking. I got called every name in the book but I just wanted them to show 1st like they should.

[*TT*]

(personal opinion rant)

I think everyone takes slow rolling way too seriously, why does it get you all bent out of shape? It only bothers me when it slows down the game, or if it is mean in nature, but otherwise I actually get a kick out of it when someone pulls this trick.

Although I agree that its one of the douchiest douchebag moves around, there is a time and a place where it is acceptable. Like putting local nits on hyper title - very profitable. Or at 2+2 home games... thats always good for a laugh. But then there is my personal favorite, something I used to do all the time just with a wink and a smile - never maliciously - but it really got under my oponent's skin. On the river bet, get called, and instantly say I win while turning over a hand that I very thinly value bet. Wanna see steam rising out of people's ears like it does in the old Popeye cartoons? My little obnoxious move will produce real steam every time!

[img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]TT [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[Nate.]

[ QUOTE ]
(personal opinion rant)

I think everyone takes slow rolling way too seriously, why does it get you all bent out of shape? It only bothers me when it slows down the game, or if it is mean in nature, but otherwise I actually get a kick out of it when someone pulls this trick.

Although I agree that its one of the douchiest douchebag moves around, there is a time and a place where it is acceptable. Like putting local nits on hyper title - very profitable. Or at 2+2 home games... thats always good for a laugh. But then there is my personal favorite, something I used to do all the time just with a wink and a smile - never maliciously - but it really got under my oponent's skin. On the river bet, get called, and instantly say I win while turning over a hand that I very thinly value bet. Wanna see steam rising out of people's ears like it does in the old Popeye cartoons? My little obnoxious move will produce real steam every time!

[img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]TT [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

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TT --

So I'd originally intended on including not only a request in the OP but a confession: I love slowrolls. I don't do it, because it's impolite and a breach of etiquette, but I love being around them.

As for your own techniques... you seem like a stand-up guy, so I'll assume that they fall on the banter/gamesmanship side of the line. (Though I'd recommend you be careful.) I don't (often) intend to tilt my opponents at the table, but I'd like to be there when you do it.

--Nate

[*TT*]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
(personal opinion rant)

I think everyone takes slow rolling way too seriously, why does it get you all bent out of shape? It only bothers me when it slows down the game, or if it is mean in nature, but otherwise I actually get a kick out of it when someone pulls this trick.

Although I agree that its one of the douchiest douchebag moves around, there is a time and a place where it is acceptable. Like putting local nits on hyper title - very profitable. Or at 2+2 home games... thats always good for a laugh. But then there is my personal favorite, something I used to do all the time just with a wink and a smile - never maliciously - but it really got under my oponent's skin. On the river bet, get called, and instantly say I win while turning over a hand that I very thinly value bet. Wanna see steam rising out of people's ears like it does in the old Popeye cartoons? My little obnoxious move will produce real steam every time!

[img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]TT [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

TT --

So I'd originally intended on including not only a request in the OP but a confession: I love slowrolls. I don't do it, because it's impolite and a breach of etiquette, but I love being around them.

As for your own techniques... you seem like a stand-up guy, so I'll assume that they fall on the banter/gamesmanship side of the line. (Though I'd recommend you be careful.) I don't (often) intend to tilt my opponents at the table, but I'd like to be there when you do it.

--Nate

[/ QUOTE ]

Pure gamesmanship... I would not really intentionally do it to offend, although I have done it in jest only to discover it offended. I always apologize when that occurs of course, but to be honest as I have risen up the ranks I haven't found many opportunities to jokingly do this anymore. Higher limit tables are a lot more stressful than low limit games.

Again for clarification.. although it doesn't offend me, I know it offends others so its best to be avoided. Unless its all in good fun.

TT [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

[AlienBoy]

I don't really hate slow rollers, but it affords me the opportunity to put on my most authoritative voices, and in loud, deliberate booming tones, say "DON'T SLOW ROLL ME! Put your cards ON THE TABLE or THROW THEM IN THE MUCK... NOW."

Usually scares the bejezzes out of 'em. LOL


AB

[Tommy Angelo]

[ QUOTE ]
Still, the best slow roll story of all was sung by Tommy Angelo on his CD of poker songs.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hi Rick!

I found an ancient file with the lyrics to "Slowroller" all typed up and ready for transport. Here ya go!

Tommy

----------------------

Slowroller

(Spoken, except for the chorus)

I want to tell you about a hand I played against this guy. I’ll call him Nimrod, and that’s being kind. He’s a work of art, a real beauty. Nimrod takes more shots than a one-armed golfer. He’s got more moves that a ballet troup. Man, he’s got more angles than a protractor. He’s . . . He’s ...


Chorus:

He’s a slowroller
He’s a ratholer
It don’t take long to discover
That he’s a card-marking string-raising mother
It’s true but sad, that some guys are just born bad



See, I’m not normally into getting revenge. I’ve turned the other cheek so many times, my neck hurts. But this hand here is a fair case of naturally occurring retribution — like when a maniac driver cuts you off and then a mile down the road you see him pulled over.

Nimrod is under the gun and he limps in. Everyone folds up to me. I’m on the button and I pop it. The big blind calls, Nimrod calls, and three of us take a flop. The flop comes: ten, eight, six, twotone.



The big blinds checks, Nimrod bets and I raise it. They both call.

The turn comes a deuce.

The big blind checks again, Nimrod bets again, and I raise again. They both call, but the big blind is one chip short, so now there’s two chips on the side between me and Nimrod.

The river pairs the deuce. Nimrod checks, and I check behind him.

Nimrod looks right square at me. He taps the table and he says, “I missed.”

Hoo boy, I’ve been down this road before. And it’s a slow journey.



I start doing my impression of a guy waiting for a bus. Everybody starts grumbling, like, c’mon you guys, somebody turn over a hand already.

So, the all-in guy, he turns over his hand. He shows pocket sevens, and I can tell from Nimrod’s cool reaction that he has that pair of sevens beat. I mean, if Nimrod can’t beat the sevens, then the most he can win is the two-chip side pot, and even Nimrod wouldn’t slowroll me over two chips, would he?

Nimrod says it again, “I missed.”

I’m like, Mm Hmm, right, sure ya did.



Finally, Nimrod turns over his hand. He shows Ten-nine suited, and puts on that pathetic smirk of his.

He had a flush draw. He had a straight draw. But the main thing is, he had top pair. Yeah, he missed all right. Everything but the flop. [censored].

I took one look at his hand and I popped a vessel. Nimrod? What the hell is your problem, dude? You got top pair and we check the river and you’ve got the unmitigated audacity to tell me you missed? You do this kinda thing all the time man. I think something went wrong with your wiring. What, d’you have a bad childhood or something? What the [censored]!



Now, I guarantee you, everyone at that table was thinking Nimrod had a winner with a pair of tens because of all the fuss I was making. Then I slooowly rolled my hand. I had a pair of tens too, but I also had a jack kicker, just enough to beat Nimrod’s nine and take down the pot.

I watched him while I was stacking the chips, and Nimrod was shook up pretty bad, but he sure as hell couldn’t say anything. That was the beauty of it. Everyone was glancing around and nodding, like a court passing judgement. They ruled my crime justifiable, on the grounds of an eye for an eye, and, because it was against Nimrod. And as we know …


Chorus:

He’s a slowroller
He’s a ratholer
It don’t take long to discover
That he’s a card-marking string-raising mother
It’s true but sad, that some guys are just born bad

[Rick Nebiolo]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Still, the best slow roll story of all was sung by Tommy Angelo on his CD of poker songs.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hi Rick!

I found an ancient file with the lyrics to "Slowroller" all typed up and ready for transport. Here ya go! - Tommy

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I'd like to let everybody know it's better with the music and Tommy's vocal inflections (especially for Nimrod).

Tommy - As an aside I copied five of your six songs from your CD to my Ipod Shuffle (love that little thing, I can't see a small MP3 display anyway and its smaller than three sticks of gum) and they are at the beginning of the play-list (three clicks to reset). First song is "I'm Running Good" and when a friendly player sitting next to me is running bad or took a beat, I often let him listen to it (as long as he has his own phones, I wouldn't want him to get contaminated by a creepy old man's earwax!). Anyway, it always brings a smile to their face and they ask "Who the hell is this guy" so I tell them. Hopefully you'll get more orders for your CD!

Only news is I'm mostly playing NL these days. Hero is fine but playing less with a new, juicy job and other commitments. Because of time and the breadth and depth of the forums I don't post too much on strategy anymore but I do skim when I have the time. Things are looking up.

Hope you are doing well.

Take Care,

Rick

PS When I wrote this story I was thinking "How would Tommy write this?" - better I would think, but you were an inspiration.

[TMTTR]

[ QUOTE ]
My favorite is the classic Two-Pair-Slowroll. It is rare, because you can only use it in special circumstances. First of all, you need to have Quads, and they need to be concealed well enough for the "2pr" claim to be believable. Secondly, your opponent needs to have a hand that crushes 2pr, but not quads. Third, you need to have a pretty good feel for your opponent, or pretty good running shoes on. Seriously. Then, as the excited player shows down his flush or set or whatever, you look sad and say something to the tune of: "Oh, that's too bad... all I have is Two-Pair... Eights and....... (long pause before rolling).... EIGHTS!!!!" (Scoop pot with both hands grinning wildly)
Beautiful.

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Unbelievably stupid and deserving of a kick in the nuts -- but you were close...