Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprising - Page 3

Hopey · #21 10-20-2006, 03:38 PM

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when people make observations about you that you can't possibly not know about.

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My last name is "Hope", and I used to work in sales. On almost a daily basis after I'd handed an idiot customer my business card (and he'd read my name), the customer would tell me "Well, I guess you HOPE that you'll get the sale! <insert moronic laughter here>"

Of course, I always *was* hoping that I'd get the sale, so I'd resist punching these types in the face.

NoMeansYes_ · #22 10-20-2006, 03:54 PM

The whole psychology thing. Looking away means you're lying or when someone says you're sitting that way because you're unhappy. [censored] YOU ITS 2006 JESUS CHRIST

amplify · #23 10-20-2006, 03:58 PM

The DaVinci code is not such a great book. Yeah, Tolstoy, we read it, we know.

vanwely · #24 10-20-2006, 04:02 PM

That joke about Lou Gehrig dying of Lou Gehrig's disease

IronUnkind · #25 10-20-2006, 04:07 PM

People who think that they need to explain the law of supply and demand.

cab4656 · #26 10-20-2006, 04:08 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
when people make observations about you that you can't possibly not know about.

[/ QUOTE ]

My last name is "Hope", and I used to work in sales. On almost a daily basis after I'd handed an idiot customer my business card (and he'd read my name), the customer would tell me "Well, I guess you HOPE that you'll get the sale! <insert moronic laughter here>"

Of course, I always *was* hoping that I'd get the sale, so I'd resist punching these types in the face.

[/ QUOTE ]

My last name is Bond. "You know James?"

Hopey · #27 10-20-2006, 04:09 PM

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That joke about Lou Gehrig dying of Lou Gehrig's disease

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Ugh. It's even worse when this "joke" is written into the script of a sitcom.

On a related note: when a character in a sitcom gets all freaked out when he finds out that his medical tests have come back "negative". I distinctly remember this on Seinfeld, and last year on The Office. I found it sad that such otherwise great shows would be so lazy as to use this tired joke.

LuckOfTheDraw · #28 10-20-2006, 04:09 PM

Not exactly what the OP is going for, but...

People who proudly announce the most obvious predictions when watching movies/TV. My friend's gf does it constantly, and I want to strangle her.

T.J. Combo · #29 10-20-2006, 04:10 PM

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Random strangers telling me that smoking is harmful to my health.

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Same thing, except with fast food. Wait, so potatoes deep-fried in lard and Grade D ground beef aren't good for me? Really? You think so, doctor?

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This reminded me of something else I hate. I hate people saying McDonald's sucks. Everybody knows that McDonald's ain't servin' up no filet mignons and their food is pretty sub-standard for hamburger joints these days.

Why beat a dead horse? Anyone who's eaten McDonald's and anywhere else will tell you that the Big Mac is at the bottom of that Whopper, $6 Burger, In and Out Burger totem pole.

QTip · #30 10-20-2006, 04:10 PM

Vietnam wasn't a war. It was a conflict.

I was in an English course in college, and some annoying kid found it necessary to correct the 60 year-old English teacher on this point. She tore him up something like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting in the bar scene. I had never heard of about half the words she used. He just sat there and stared. I wish I had that on tape.