Found out my roomate's GF used to be a mega-ho

[GiftGiver]

My roommate, Joe, is a very monogamous guy. In his lifetime he has had 3, currently on his third, stable long-term relationships. He has done very little hooking up when not in one of these relationships. He looks down on slutty behavior.

Joe has been seriously dating this girl, Maria, for almost 3 years. In this time Maria has presented herself as a virtuous and high-class woman. She has denounced the slutty behavior of a few of her friends and made comments about how she would never have a threesome. Joe plans on asking Maria to marry him soon. I have never had any reason to suspect infidelity in the relationship and they are very close. I am happy for them.

So, this weekend I run into an acquaintance who knew Maria before Joe or I ever met her. With a sly look on his face he asks me how Joe and Maria are doing. I ask him why he is interested. He is drunk and proceeds to detail the prolific sexual exploits of Maria prior to her meeting Joe. This acquintance is in a local band and is also tight with several other local bands. This group of guys used to call her the "BJ Queen" as she fellated most of them and f'd almost as many. He goes on to recount tales of double teams and multiple guys in the same night. All of this taking place over a period of about one year.

At that point I did not know whether to believe him or if he was just making up stories. Later I met up with two other friends of mine, both girls, who knew Maria during the time period of the alleged exploits. They confirmed the stories almost exactly. They estimated that during this time period Maria banged roughly 20-25 guys.

All this info has made me sick to my stomach. I feel like Maria has misrepresented herself to Joe and others. I know that if Joe knew this info he would be devastated. Intellectually I know that this should not matter and she has been a good GF to Joe. However, my gut reaction is to be appalled. I don't know how I will look Maria in the eye again.

I wish I could unlearn this info. Please OOT help me feel better about this. Any comments or suggestions are most welcome.

[Thremp]

Tag it yourself. Take one for the team.

[octop]

ask her for a bj

[Kneel B4 Zod]

Tough one.

1. Part of me says that people change, and if they have been great for each other, that's all that matters, and rocking the boat would be a mistake.

2. Another part of me says that honest communciation is important, and if she has lied or misrepresented her past, that's a bad thing and she should tell your roomate.

If I were you, I would flip a coin.

[deacsoft]

Leave it be. If she's been cool with him for 3 years she digs him, and he doesn't need to know anything about him. If you need to get it off of your chest I'd suggest confronting her about it. But tread lightly there. You don't want her blowing up about it and telling him what you were saying... yeah just don't say anything.

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
ask her for a bj

[/ QUOTE ]

and tell her if she doesn't, you're telling Joe about her past.

You'll find out the truth.

[lippy]

If he is happy, you can't tell him. Nothing to be gained...

[TIEdup14]

Why the heck would you want to ruin what they have now?

What could possibly be gained?

[octop]

hes gonna marry the broad who used to be a cum dumpster. WHose to say she isnt any more?

[Turkish]

If he is a good friend, I don't see how not telling him could even be an option. If he is not a good friend, or if he pisses you off along the way, get drunk, then call him, on there 1 year marriage anniversary.