This is my story (long, boring)

[lil']

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
you have the opportunity to claim discipline and responsibility in your life. you can dedicate your time to really learning how to play the game of poker through avid reading of the strategy forums. you can discipline yourself to no longer take shots at games in which you arent bankrolled for. learn how to become skilled at poker and learn the art of multitabling and you can make a very significant hourly rate in low limit games.

[/ QUOTE ]

He has a gambling problem and this is definetaly not a legitimate option.

[/ QUOTE ]

Agree 100%. Poster has to let go of poker and gambling completely. He just doesn't have the right type of mindframe for it. It's not a knock on him, just something he has to learn to overcome.

[TStoneMBD]

ive hit rock bottom a couple of times in my life if theres any similarities. you can feel like there is no way out and feel overburdened. this is why he keeps losing more money, he keeps playing bigger games to try to get lucky and get it all back which is obviously the wrong attitude. i agree that he should ideally quit gambling forever but what im saying is that poker may be his only outlet for recovery. that is, if he can actually control himself and build discipline. if he cant do that and he starts moving up again then of course he has to quit. if he can discipline himself to never move up in limits until he has 1000BB+ plus reasonable expectation for an increase in hourly rate he may be able to pull out. just because hes had a past of uncontrollable gambling problems shouldnt mean he cant find a way to adhere to good bankroll management. i think a guy whos hit rock bottom should come to the realization that his only chance of turning it around and making good for himself is to take responsibility, build patience and overcome your gambling problem. ultimately hes going to make the decision whether hes going to quit gambling or not. if hes willing to accept his 50k+ in debt and never turn to gambling again then thats awesome, good for him. if he does turn back to gambling at least ive tried to make him realize that the only way hell be able to overcome his gambling problem is to never move up in limits ever again until you are overbankrolled. to add in other guidelines he should never move up until hes played nearly 100k hands at each level and has a winrate of over 2. it sounds like he knows hes a winning player at low limits. i dont think he should just throw that opportunity away if he can learn to control himself.

[Zetack]

There's a lot of good advice in this thread about stopping gambling altogether.

One thing I think could be emphasized moore although its been mentioned above is the debt management part.

Get in touch with a credit management service to get a handle on the debt you have. Sometimes they can get reduced interest rates and reduced principles. At the very least they can get a realistic plan for you to pay the money back.

You may be in for lean times, but you say that both you and your wife have good jobs, which means its quite likely that over the course of 5-8 years you can get out from under this burden without having to resort to gambling.

Its not easy, trust me, I know. But when you finally get to the end of the tunnel, life is sweet indeed (at least financially).

This is serious debt I know, but its probably not unmanageable. Once you get it into your head that you aren't looking for a quick fix, but will handle it over a period of years, and you get a handle on your gambling problem, I expect your life will feel much better to you.

Don't blow off the advice in this thread, seek help and good luck.

[ggbman]

I am very sorry to read this, posting on 2+2 generally exposes me to people who do not have these kinds of problem, or at least the scale is generally much different. As many have pointed out, you clearly have a gambling problem. You need to immiadiatley cease playing any sort of pit game, sports betting... all stuff of that nature. It's degenerate stuff, and it has destroyed people who have amassed much more wealth than you have.

Now, i have no idea how good you are at poker, what your track record is, etc... If you have a solid long term record, you can make this money back in a year or two playing 2-4 to 5-10 limit, where you do not need a big bankroll, and you don't need to move up past there. Here is what you need to think about...

It sounds like you are fortunate to have a good support network of family... given the way you have handled yourself, you should realize how lucky you are to still have their support. As a man, it's your responsibility to take care of your family, not pursue your own interests at their expense. That has to stop now. If poker can be a vehicle to help in that process, that go about it the right way, grind out, play LOW STAKES, and let your talent assist in this recovery process. Your problem is the one that i see with most people who gamble compusivley... you seem opposed to hard work and you want to make a quick score. People with this mentality either get themselves into a hole early, or get lucky and get themselves into a hole later.

You need to focus on your family and your career. Mend your relationships, perform well at your job, and if you make make an extra $30/hour playing poker, then make sure you put in 10-15 hours a week in the evenings and on the weekends, and you will be out of debt in a year or two. So much of this is psychology and getting yourself into the right mindset to become sucessful here, you have the right variables at your disposal, you just need to stop abusing them and get your act together. Do me a favor, turn this all around and give us an update in a year a two, linking this old post to your new one.

Best of luck to you,

Gabe

[idrinkcoors]

To the OP:

I've been in your shoes, and dug a huge hole for myself out of college betting on dog racing of all things.

The thing about your situation that struck a chord with me about your situation is NOT the money. Sure, $50k is a lot right now, but in the long run it is nothing. Trust me. The debt is far less important than getting your head and emotions in the right frame.

What I gather is important to you right now is your Dad. You have to fess up to him and tell him the truth. It will suck. Been there. He will be disappointed and you will feel like garbage, but it will be a relief to get it out in the open. Again, it will be hard, but think about this: if you had a son who was in a lot of emotional pain, wouldn't you want to be able to help him? Wouldn't you want to know the truth? Even if your son screwed up, wouldn't you still love him? It's not like you went out and shot a guy, you just lost some money being stupid. I hated telling my Dad about my problem, but it's been years now, and time heals all wounds. Once again, the money sounds huge now, but debt is the least of the issues. Fess up to your dad, go to GA. Still play poker (if you can keep in in control), and stop the pit and sports betting.

I don't know if a degenerate gambler ever can overcome his gambling, but I think he can keep it in control. This may sound pathetic to some of you, but when I go to Vegas, my wife gives me a daily allowance, and takes my atm card away. This is the only way it will work for me.

Best wishes to you, and I hope you know that you can make things better, and it WILL get better.

[J-Mac]

man, posting this anonymously is so gutless.

[ClevelandWasp]

Very sorry for your situation. I strongly agree that you should quit gambling altogether. Posters who recommend that you grind it out in low-limit poker are offering you a solution that would work for them, but is not practical for you. Your problem is not skill, but discipline.
You should at least talk to a bankruptcy lawyer about the credit card debt. They deal with situations like these all the time. Probably a much more efficient way to handle the issue. And don't feel bad for the credit card companies, they will be just fine with their 20% rates.
Don't waste energy beating yourself up. We all face obstacles and we need help from friends and family to pull through. The possibility of hurting your relationship with your father or wife should be a much bigger concern than your debt. Send us another message when you're back on track, we'd appreciate the update.

[tom10167]

[ QUOTE ]
man, posting this anonymously is so gutless.

[/ QUOTE ]

uhh....

not really

[Bona]

Gambling addiction is a progressive disease. OP's best solution is finishing the approach he has started.

* Open up to his family about the nature and scope of the problem. They can be his strongest support.
* Find a competent therapist with an adjunct support group to learn how the problem originated and how to control the urges. Gambling addiction is a complex problem but knowledge is power. Many states, especially those with casino gambling, have these resources available.
* Stay completely away from any gambling activity.
* You can probably speed the recovery process and minimize your losses. See a competent bankruptcy attorney. Don't even think about the "shame" of it. Credit card companies are the ones who should be ashamed. And don't worry about your "credit rating" it will recover faster after bankruptcy than it would have if you spent years struggling through it. Talk to a professional.

Many winning poker players are skilled enough to beat the other players, over time, by enough to overcome the rake and show a profit. Everyone reading this knows that. But what we don't all know or least don't consider sometimes is that some losing players (estimates vary but generally are about 2-5% of people who gamble) are dealing with personal tendencies and personality issues that make it IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN in the long run. No matter how well they understand the game.

IMO advising such a player to "play his way through it" is not far removed from yelling "JUMP" to deter a confused potential suicide on a ledge. If OP knows he has a problem, and it sounds like he does, he already knows the answer. STOP. THINK. GET HELP.