Flameout in life and in Poker (VERY LONG)

[bohemian]

Hello Godot:

if you indeed intend to have a therapeutic experience, I suggest you consider but do not reply to posts that offend you. It is not merely a waste of time, but positively damaging to your state of mind.

Just some thoughts:
1) About Allison - I'll be blunt: do yourself a favor and don't think with your dick. Been there, done that. Not good for you. Having read your description of her (both good and bad), I do not see how she is the right person for you. Sounds like a shallow person. I think you're deeper than that. If you stick with her, you will truly regret that one day. Those looks will go and you will be stuck with a bitch.
2) Gambling - forget it.
3) Your mental state - you are a clever guy, but unfortunately intelligence does not correlate with happinness and true success in life. You need to get some fresh thoughts. New thoughts create new life. I suggest the following for starters: Wayne Dyer, "Your Erroneous Zones" (Not "Errogenous Zones", the book is about soft spots in your head, not hot spots on your body lol).
4) and lastly.... take life with a grain of salt. You take yourself way too seriously. Your ego will only keep you trapped in the world of conflict, pain, and deep unhappiness. You're on the way to learning that. Expensive but necessary lessons.

All the best man.

Bohemian