post the nerdiest joke you know

[spock86]

Two physicists were riding in a hot air balloon and were blown off course sailing over a mountain trail. They were completely lost, when they spotted a jogger running on the trail and shouted "Can you tell us where we are?" After a few minutes, the jogger yelled back, "You're up in a balloon." One physicist turned to the other, "Just our luck to run into a mathematician". "How did you know he was a mathematician?" "Well, in the first place he took a long time to answer; second, his answer was 100% correct, and third, it was totally useless."

[RocketManJames]

Here's another nerdy joke that I liked...

So a guy asks Newton... so we have two trains heading towards each other going 80mph and 50mph. They are currently 40 miles apart from each other. A fly travels at 2mph from one train to the next back and forth until the trains crash. How far does the fly travel up until its death?

Newton replies with the correct answer immediately.

The guy responds... nice, you saw that time was the key to this problem, most people start by doing an infinite summation.

Newton responds... what do you mean? I arrived at my response via an infinite summation.

-RMJ

[chiachu]

[ QUOTE ]
Two physicists were riding in a hot air balloon and were blown off course sailing over a mountain trail. They were completely lost, when they spotted a jogger running on the trail and shouted "Can you tell us where we are?" After a few minutes, the jogger yelled back, "You're up in a balloon." One physicist turned to the other, "Just our luck to run into a mathematician". "How did you know he was a mathematician?" "Well, in the first place he took a long time to answer; second, his answer was 100% correct, and third, it was totally useless."

[/ QUOTE ]

ive always heard this told a different way:

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes that he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says, "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude.

"You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.
"I am", replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well..." says the balloonist. "Everything you told me was technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says, "You must be a Manager"

"I am", replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well..." says the man. "You don't know where you are, or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met but now it is somehow my fault."

[sigh]

Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said, "The
Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9." The disciples
looked very puzzled, and finally asked Peter, "What on earth does Jesus
mean - the Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9? Peter
said, "Don't worry. It's just another one of his parabolas."

[BrunoThePug]

I've always liked:

$> man woman
$> segmentation fault - core dumped

[detruncate]

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant, but fell short in producing a demonstration argument.



One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

Considering then the postulate presented to me by Teresa K. during my Freshman year: that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that over two years later, I still have not succeeded in having relations with her; then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

[Victor]

ya, thats awesome. i remember our science teacher in 10th grade showed that to us. lets see that was 97 or so. thanks for bringint it back.

[smoore]

ok, winnar.

[Eihli]

Girls = Evil

Girls are a product of Time and Money
Girls = Time * Money

Time is Money
Time = Money

Therefore Girls = Money * Money or
Girls = Money^2

Money is the root of all Evil or
Money = sqrt(Evil)

Therefore Girls = (sqrt(Evil))^2 or
Girls = Evil

[nath]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Understanding most of these jokes makes me want to rub one out.

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fyp

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funniest thing in this thread

(i'm not hating on the jokes, i just LMAOed at this)