favorite Seinfeld line

[4_2_it]

A couple of J Peterman gems:

Mr. Peterman: Elaine, do you have any idea what happens to a butter-based frosting after sitting 60 years in a poorly ventilated English basement? I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed.


Mr. Peterman: And, in a tiny way, I almost feel responsible. I'm the one who sent him to Thailand - in search of low-cost whistles. Filled his head with pseudoerotic tales of my own Opium excursions. Plus, I gave him some phone numbers of places he could score near the hotel.

[hoopsie44]

"Delores"!
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Jerry to Elaine, referring to Kramer: "The only thing separating you two is a thin layer of gaberdine."

[samjjones]

The Saab travels down a quiet country road at night, followed by the mail truck. Kramer is driving, Newman looks furious in the passenger seat.

KRAMER: (frustrated) Damn. I don't understand this. I've ditched every bottle and can, and we still can't gain. It's like we're...

He looks across at the substantial bulk of Newman and a thought occurs.

KRAMER: ...sluggish.

NEWMAN: I went through all those bottles and all those cans, for what? What a waste. And I'm really gonna catch hell for those missing mailbags.

KRAMER: Heyy, wasn't that a pie stand back there?

NEWMAN: (perks up) A pie stand? Where?

KRAMER: Oh yeah. Home-made pies, two hundred yards back.

NEWMAN: Aww, c'mon, pull over, pull over will ya.

Kramer pulls the truck into the roadside. As it halts, Newman sticks his head out the window to peer back down the road.

NEWMAN: Where? I..I..I don't see it.

KRAMER: Well open the door, you get a better look.

Newman slides back the door and leans out.

NEWMAN: I don't see any pie...

Kramer plants his foot firmly in Newman's backside and heaves him out of the truck.

NEWMAN: ...Aargh!

As Newman lands heavily in the verge, Kramer slides the door shut and drives away.

NEWMAN: Kramer!!

KRAMER: I'm sorry Newman, you were holding us back.

NEWMAN: (after speeding truck) Kramer!!

In the mail truck, Kramer picks up his phone and redials.

KRAMER: (shouting) Jerry! We've lost the fat man, and we're running lean. We're back on track, buddy!

[The Big Easy]

When Kramer calls Jerry because he is lost downtown:

Jerry: "What street are you on?"

Kramer: "I'm on First and First. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!"

[jbezzel24]

ELAINE: Oh. So, you're pretty religious?

PUDDY: That's right.

ELAINE: So is it a problem that I'm not really religious?

PUDDY: Not for me.

ELAINE: Why not?

PUDDY: I'm not the one going to hell.

[dustybottoms]

"That's funny because I just ran into Newman down at Kenny Roger's. He was carrying enough food for two people, as long as one of them's not him."

"ALRIGHT, you go ahead, you keep it secret. But you remember this. When you control the mail, you control... INFORMATION!!"

[chicken10der]

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"I calculated my odds of ever getting together with a Portuguese waitress. Mathematically, I had to do it."

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All of you [censored] it up. No humility needed here.

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he very well have said "my odds" instead of "the odds," but are you really sure he said "getting together"? this episode was on recently and i definitely remember it as "sleeping with" or "having sex with"

previously in the conversation they had already established that he had sex with someone so it seems unlikely to me he would use a euphemism like "getting together" at this point

do you have a transcript or are you basing this off your own memory? im not saying i know for sure exactly what he said, i don't have a transcript either, but i'd estimate the odds somewhere around 45% "sleeping with," 35% "having sex with," and 20% "getting together with"

of course if you are neither referencing memory or a transcript and have instead of gotten your information from a tv quotes website i apologize in advance for doubting the accuracy of your information and beg your forgiveness for my transgression, i have it on good authority that all internet sites that list lines from tv or movies have teams of people who check quotes thoroughly before they are ever put live on the site

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http://media.putfile.com/getting-together

I figured that would be the most definitive proof.

[ChuckyB]

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"Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you're doing that child quite a
service."

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Which episode is this from, I don't remember the quote.

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Two friends of George and Susan's (including the fat guy from "Herman's Head") were thinking about what to name their kid. George suggested "Soda". He told Susan that he wanted to name their kid "Seven".

[Wes Mantooth]

"It's all water next to the bridge"

[bellytimber]

MR COSTANZA: Maybe it was because I refused to take off my shoes. Again, the foot odor problem. Her father would look at me and say, "eno enoz juang." Which means, "this guy...this is not my kind of guy."