More Dating Advice - What's My Play

TomCollins · #1 01-09-2006, 01:57 PM

Sorry to dissapoint the myspace thread followers, but most of the [censored] leads have dried up, but I did find one girl that I am interested in. Seen her about 4 times, talked a bit, seems to be going well, although progressing slowly. She just takes her time, and its no big deal for me.

Pretty early she gave me the non-exclusive talk, stating that she was dating other people and wanted to make sure I was aware and didn't care. No biggie, I barely know the girl. I don't want anything serious until I get to know someone anyway.

When I am on vacation, I notice several comments left on her mypsace page by one guy, who I will refer to as Army Tool. Seems like a total loser, has his myspace all tooled out to look like a 13 yr old girl, is younger than her, fat. Comments are along the lines of "I can't wait to meet you sweetie!" and "It was soo good to meet u!". I can't quote them all because she deleted them. Also, 3 days after they met, he posts in his myspace blog about "The Girl" he met, and how hes so in love. Again, seems like a total tool. Also while I'm gone (a total of 10 days), he buys her all kinds of jewelery as well.

When I get back, we go out, she asks if I'm still ok with the non-exclusive thing, and I agree, and try to get her to reveal what's up with this guy. This is where she shows me the jewelry. She seems annoyed with him, but is a nice girl and doesn't want to break his heart. She mentions she told him she was going out the night we went out, but didn't tell him it was a date because "when we talked about seeing other people, he said hed be really sad if I did." If this girl has any sense, she will choose me over him (and if she doesn't, definitely not my type), or neither of us.

This guy definitely seems to seem like the obsessive jealous type, and I can sense she is getting annoyed by it. I figure my best gameplan is to back off, and let the trainwreck happen. However, I don't think it would be a terrible idea to somehow make sure he finds out not only is she allowed to date other people, she is. But I can't make it obvious that she knows that's what I'm up to.

Any ideas?

miajag · #2 01-09-2006, 01:59 PM

I would think the inevitable trainwreck with the other guy would happen a lot sooner if you didn't back off. I am a big advocate of forcing situations like this to crisis.

MrWookie · #3 01-09-2006, 02:13 PM

I am less concerned with what you should do and more annoyed at the notion girls have that not rejecting a guy is the "nice" thing to do. [censored]. What a crock. Yeah. String the guy a long. Let him build up his hopes. Fool him into thinking he has a chance. THEN burn him when you finally can't take it any more. "Letting him down easy" is never as easy as just coming out and saying "I don't want to date you."

With that rant out of the way, I think you should just keep seeing this girl. The loser will find out about you and get the message. If he doesn't get the message, the chick will be forced to make sure he does.

Monty_Brogan · #4 01-09-2006, 02:20 PM

The clear play here is to link us to both their MySpace pages.

Blarg · #5 01-09-2006, 02:22 PM

It sounds like she still thinks she can get more jewelry out of this guy, and over the top flattery and ego fulfillment.

A plus for you is that she's practical. Another plus for you is that she obviously doesn't care about the guy's feelings -- heck, doesn't even find that contradictory when dating him.

A minus for you is that if it's easy to apply that outlook to one guy, it's hard not to apply it to all of them.

You seem much more angry and insulting to this guy for just liking this girl than you do toward her for leading him on and juggling other guys at the same time. This seems like displaced anger toward her. You've got nothing to be so down on for him about, and it sounds like you wish him harm.

This girl does not seem to be a good thing for you. Unless maybe you're just like her and I'm being blind here, in which case you two are perfect for each other.

slickpoppa · #6 01-09-2006, 02:22 PM

If this girl cannot get rid of this guy on her own, she is immature and you don't want to have anything to do with her. So just ignore the issue for now and if it does not go away stop seeing this girl.

TomCollins · #7 01-09-2006, 02:25 PM

[ QUOTE ]
The clear play here is to link us to both their MySpace pages.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice Try.

vexvelour · #8 01-09-2006, 02:27 PM

How are you always so damn right, Blarg?

TomCollins · #9 01-09-2006, 02:29 PM

[ QUOTE ]
It sounds like she still thinks she can get more jewelry out of this guy, and over the top flattery and ego fulfillment.

A plus for you is that she's practical. Another plus for you is that she obviously doesn't care about the guy's feelings -- heck, doesn't even find that contradictory when dating him.

A minus for you is that if it's easy to apply that outlook to one guy, it's hard not to apply it to all of them.

You seem much more angry and insulting to this guy for just liking this girl than you do toward her for leading him on and juggling other guys at the same time. This seems like displaced anger toward her. You've got nothing to be so down on for him about, and it sounds like you wish him harm.

This girl does not seem to be a good thing for you. Unless maybe you're just like her and I'm being blind here, in which case you two are perfect for each other.

[/ QUOTE ]

She has told him not to buy anything else for her again.

No displaced anger. I'm dating other people. I do dislike guys "like that", and thought she had better tastes than that. If she is into that kinda stuff, I'm not gonna lose any sleep over her, though.

And if it gets into a spending contest, there is no doubt who will win. The army grunt or the guy who makes >5x as much?

Shajen · #10 01-09-2006, 02:36 PM

[ QUOTE ]
And if it gets into a spending contest, there is no doubt who will win. The army grunt or the guy who makes >5x as much?

[/ QUOTE ]

Both of you lose.