Funniest thing you've heard while playing online.

[K\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Deal]

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"This table is tighter then a midget's vigina" -me

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I said something similar the other night.

I was playing at a very tight limit ring table and I got AK in EP and raised. Some guy in MP cold-calls flop comes K54 I bet he calls. Turn Q. I bet, he calls. River Q. I bet, he raises. I ask: "You got KQ, don't you?...I should have known."

Him: "Worse." I call he shows Q6off for runner-runner trips. I berate him like no other and say to the room:

"This table is tighter than my urethra and this guy over here cold-calls my EP raise with Q6 off!?!? WTF!?!?"

Anyway I like the urethra line and will use it more often.

[LaramieJC]

Party 2/4 chat a couple days ago:

Villain sucks out on TAG player
TAG: Good job fisherman
Villain: How did you know that?
Villain: The only thing I have that has to do with fishing is my e-mail.
Villain: How can you see my e-mail?
TAG: lmao
Villain: Yeah we'll see who's laughing when I report you to support. I knew you were a hacker.

[ottsville]

I just beat two players out of a big pot with AKs - TPTK rivers into nut flush.... on a possible FH board and lots of action

Player A: Fish..
Player B: Fish!

I look at their banks and notice that they are both Rebuying....

[ansky451sucks]

In an NL25 game a certain player had been playing poorly for a while. He had rebought several times and then just lost it. He said something like "XXXX this XXXXing gay casino. Parypoker is such a XXXXing gay casino. They XXXXing like men this XXXXing [censored] casino. They keep giving me good hands when other people have better gay hands. It is such a gay casino."

[hfrog355]

HAHA


devastating...


(anyone know where that's from?)

[Philo]

[ QUOTE ]
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hoe the XXXX does that happen only 4 in a deck

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This whole sentence is freakin hilarious.

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This new math is very confusing.

[mroels]

Read this one somewhere here...copied it a while back...
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also another thing if u whip out ur cock and show it to him and looks away very quickly(assume he doesnt normally like seeing u do this) hes most likely bluffing, if he looks confused like what r u doin, he has a hand.
Also: if he looks like he wants to bite the thing off for a second, he has the nuts, otherwise if he stared @ it like he wants to bite it for about 5 or more seconds, he might be a homosexual.

PS If he also whips out his penis and tells u he has the nuts, tell him u believe him, but are going to suck out on him.


[/ QUOTE ]


If someone's running bad: "God I probably couldn't catch aids in an african whorehouse right now."

"Nuts on Your Chin"

[ottsville]

After paying off and finding that his A high hasn't held up, player A says "F me!"
Player B: "are you cute?"

[acesfall]

bluffed a guy with bottom pair and showed him because he seemed tilty. Called me a [censored] for raising with a deuce. It was really funny at the time (probably not so much now)

[friend_]

Conversation between two fishes:
Both about 60-70 vpt, always played to the end and usually lost. But fish2 tried to teach fish1.

hand1, river:
fish1: why did you raise me after you had checked?
hand2, flop:
fish2: you dont understand, it was CHECK-RAISE. Understand? Now come on, check-raise me!