Funniest thing you've heard while playing online.

[SNOWBALL]

[ QUOTE ]
This isn't the funniest but last night I said this to a guy who was berating a fish who sucked out on him:

Fishberater: Calling a raise with 69o, yea that's a good strategy
Me: Hey, i hear stfu is a good strategy.

Surprisingly, he stfu.

[/ QUOTE ]

vnh

[Scorch]

"This table is tighter then a midget's vigina" -me

[Gildwulf]

I've heard "this table is tighter than a nun's c*nt"....I've used this sometimes.

BTW, this thread is gold.

[chumdawg]

I prefer: "This table is tighter than tick pus*sy."

There is always the reliable standby, when you push in a sit-n-go, get called by aces, and crack 'em. When the aces guy moans and groans, you respond: "Next time you call my all-in, you better have a hand."

[MikeSmith]

[ QUOTE ]
I prefer: "This table is tighter than tick pus*sy."

There is always the reliable standby, when you push in a sit-n-go, get called by aces, and crack 'em. When the aces guy moans and groans, you respond: "Next time you call my all-in, you better have a hand."

[/ QUOTE ]

I cracked JJ with some BS and i told him "what were you doing calling with jacks?", he proceed to go into a long discussion why he called, some people just dont get sarcasm.

[Lee_C]

[ QUOTE ]
I prefer: "This table is tighter than tick pus*sy."

There is always the reliable standby, when you push in a sit-n-go, get called by aces, and crack 'em. When the aces guy moans and groans, you respond: "Next time you call my all-in, you better have a hand."

[/ QUOTE ]

This table is tighter than frog pus sy and man that's water tight!

[K\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Deal]

[ QUOTE ]
"This table is tighter then a midget's vigina" -me

[/ QUOTE ]

I said something similar the other night.

I was playing at a very tight limit ring table and I got AK in EP and raised. Some guy in MP cold-calls flop comes K54 I bet he calls. Turn Q. I bet, he calls. River Q. I bet, he raises. I ask: "You got KQ, don't you?...I should have known."

Him: "Worse." I call he shows Q6off for runner-runner trips. I berate him like no other and say to the room:

"This table is tighter than my urethra and this guy over here cold-calls my EP raise with Q6 off!?!? WTF!?!?"

Anyway I like the urethra line and will use it more often.

[Warren Harding]

[ QUOTE ]
"This table is tighter then a midget's vigina" -me

[/ QUOTE ]

I hope that was at a B&M. Better yet: "This table is tighter than a child's vagina". OFcourse, better said at a B&M.

[Ra_]

[ QUOTE ]
"This table is tighter then a midget's vigina" -me

[/ QUOTE ]

If some said this i'd reply, "I can tell you've never been with a midget"

[e_phemeral]

Live cash game. Guy to my immediate left is hammered and has been losing buy-in after buy-in. He is at the table with a co-worker and, despite the fact that he is losing horribly, keeps talking about how he is having such a great time, etc.

I get into a hand with him and on the flop or turn (I can't remember), after I bet, he intentionally exposes his cards to me, I guess to make me scared or something. So on the river, knowing that I have the nuts, I push all in on him. He sits there for the longest time trying to decide whether to call with whatever he had (middle pair or top pair or something). It lasted so long that I almost couldn't take it anymore. People at the table were started to get annoyed and I just couldn't believe that this guy was seriously considering calling. So at one point, I say "Ok, just to recap the action. Your cards are exposed. I have bet all of my chips. And we are all waiting to see whether you are going to call or fold." Everyone nods in agreement. After about 1 more minute, he folds.

I probably cost myself money, because he really thought I was trying to bluff him because I saw his cards. I almost would have felt bad if he called just because he was so drunk and so dumb and everyone was taking his money left and right.