She left me

[samjjones]

I've seen an almost carbon copy situation in my own extended family recently, and in that case, the wife was also having an affair. FWIW.

[Hopey]

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I've seen an almost carbon copy situation in my own extended family recently, and in that case, the wife was also having an affair. FWIW.

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Quite frankly, I can't think of a single similar situation where the woman *wasn't* having an affair.

I don't mean to make the OP feel any worse than how he's feeling, but I really think he needs to seriously entertain this possibility. If he can prove to himself that she's having an affair (or if she admits to it), it'll hurt like hell, but it might make it easier for him to move on.

I suggest hiring a PI to follow her around for a bit. If she's having an affair, it won't take long for it to be discovered.

[ddubois]

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I suggest hiring a PI to follow her around for a bit. If she's having an affair, it won't take long for it to be discovered.

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OOT suggested this 6 weeks ago. He didn't listen then, he's probably not going to now either.

[Hopey]

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I suggest hiring a PI to follow her around for a bit. If she's having an affair, it won't take long for it to be discovered.

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OOT suggested this 6 weeks ago. He didn't listen then, he's probably not going to now either.

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Hopefully the recent events have pulled him out of the denial he was suffering 6 weeks ago.

[Georgia Avenue]

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I suggest hiring a PI to follow her around for a bit. If she's having an affair, it won't take long for it to be discovered.

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OOT suggested this 6 weeks ago. He didn't listen then, he's probably not going to now either.

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Hopefully the recent events have pulled him out of the denial he was suffering 6 weeks ago.

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I don't really want to argue about it dude, and I appreciate that you're trying to help. But actually this turn of events makes me more willing to believe that she is not cheating on me. The fact that there was some huge lurking darkness in her heart explains why she was pushing this issue and having inappropriate relationships. It seems most likely to me that she just wanted to create some kind of drama so she could bring this up. I don't think she did this consciously. Also, I think she would just tell me at this point if she did cheat on me.

Nevertheless you may be right. I don't think it's very productive to try and find out exactly what happened. If she cheated on me, we have no chance, and sooner or later I'll find out. I'd rather just try to deal with her as someone I want to stay with forever...If that changes, so be it.

LORD what a dramaqueen...it's like freaking Oedipus Rex around here...! The usual placebos are having no effect...porn, scrippas, gamboling, booze...all useless...I guess I'll go play basketball for a few hours...

Anyway, thanks for your comments y'all. Thanks for the kind PMs too. One upside: If she calls it quits before July 27st I can sell the car and hitchhike to the ME...

Degenerately
--GA

[DMBFan23]

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Nevertheless you may be right. I don't think it's very productive to try and find out exactly what happened

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aren't the legal/financial implications of an affair VERY important in the case that you two do get divorced?

[samjjones]

GA - if you ever need somebody to hang out with in A.C. and drink a couple of beers and donk around, give me a call.



I'll fly with you.

[Jeffage]

Georgia,

I don't have much to add but I just wanted to wish you luck with everything. It's tough and I really hope it works out for you - just keep the faith, I'm sure you are a good person and in the end you will hopefully look at this as a rough chapter before you find happiness. Life can be very hard and sometimes you have to fight - stand up for yourself and try not to beat yourself up over things you can't change.

Good luck man.

Jeff

[adsman]

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Nevertheless you may be right. I don't think it's very productive to try and find out exactly what happened. If she cheated on me, we have no chance, and sooner or later I'll find out. I'd rather just try to deal with her as someone I want to stay with forever...If that changes, so be it.


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Hey GA,

Bad times, dude. I feel for ya. We all have to learn painful lessons in life. Why is that? Why can't we just learn from the mistakes from others? The reason is because when we are young and idealistic we don't believe that the world works like that or that people could behave in a certain way, particularly people that we love.

From your posts and from the few interactions that we've had you sound like a good guy. Don't make the mistake of assuming that somebody else holds to your own moral beliefs. The reality is that they usually don't. Take the advice of posters here who have been through a divorce very carefully. You may think that your wife is a special unique flower but the truth could well be otherwise.

And [censored] is completely right. You must have your own power here. Otherwise your life is going to be like being stuck in a tornado.

[ddubois]

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Hopefully the recent events have pulled him out of the denial he was suffering 6 weeks ago.

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Uh-huh.

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But actually this turn of events makes me more willing to believe that she is not cheating on me.

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