Funniest thing you've heard while playing online.

[asdfasdf32]

One of my personal favorites was when someone gets argumentative about your play on a winning hand, you can reply "Shhhh...I'm stacking your chips" ... lol

[HotPants]

The best I can remember:

Player 1 : "ZZZZZZZZZZZ"

Player 2 : "try coffee"

[Schatzdog]

Was playing a SnG and one of the guys had the Nickname "Maverick". From the word go we had Top Gun quotes flying in. Even when guys had been eliminated they stuck around to put more Top Gun stuff onto the Chat. Hilarious.

[ScottieK]

Funniest live game: I was dealing a home game with some married friends. One married couple featured a wife who was hitting every hand in sight and her husband who had to borrow several times from her. During a hand, her husband was heads-up against another guy.

Husband (apparently liking his hand, to wife): Gimme some of your chips.
Me: Sorry, you can’t borrow chips during a hand.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Because you’re going to lose AGAIN, that’s why!
Husband: What if you play my cards for me?
Wife: Just because you slap butter on s###, don’t make it biscuits.

He lost the hand, set against flush.

Funniest online:
Some guy: "Man, I can't hit a flop to save my life."
Me (being a punk): "Why don't you check the 'hit flops' option at the bottom of the screen?"
Some guy: "Is that why I'm losing? Can you describe where it is?"

ScottieK

[jackal47]

[ QUOTE ]
Funniest live game: I was dealing a home game with some married friends. One married couple featured a wife who was hitting every hand in sight and her husband who had to borrow several times from her. During a hand, her husband was heads-up against another guy.

Husband (apparently liking his hand, to wife): Gimme some of your chips.
Me: Sorry, you can’t borrow chips during a hand.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Because you’re going to lose AGAIN, that’s why!
Husband: What if you play my cards for me?
Wife: Just because you slap butter on s###, don’t make it biscuits.

He lost the hand, set against flush.

Funniest online:
Some guy: "Man, I can't hit a flop to save my life."
Me (being a punk): "Why don't you check the 'hit flops' option at the bottom of the screen?"
Some guy: "Is that why I'm losing? Can you describe where it is?"

ScottieK

[/ QUOTE ]

Gold [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Stickmn24]

[ QUOTE ]
One of my personal favorites was when someone gets argumentative about your play on a winning hand, you can reply "Shhhh...I'm stacking your chips" ... lol

[/ QUOTE ]

Board: KKQJx
Player 1: KQo
Player 2: A9s

Player 2: "WTF? How did I lose with the nine-to-ace straight??? I hate Party."

[A_Junglen]

Someone having the worst hand on every street, then it going to showdown and they complain that you outdrew them. You peek at the hand history and laugh.

[egocidal]

"Dude, without a doubt, xxxxx is a bot. Look at him, he only plays like, a fourth of his hands."

[K\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Deal]

[ QUOTE ]
"Dude, without a doubt, xxxxx is a bot. Look at him, he only plays like, a fourth of his hands."

[/ QUOTE ]

I had this happen to me once. Some guy kept stealing my blinds and I got upset but I was getting crap cards so I never defended. So I added my entire bankroll to the table to see if it would demand some respect from him. He noticed RIGHT AWAY and started going on and on about it.

I also did not have chat enabled because of cussing, so I couldn't talk to him. But after about 15 minutes of him watching me closely now and seeing my tight-aggressive style he tells the table "He's a bot for sure. Look, he won't even answer me. He has all the money and he keeps playing tight-aggressive! I'm reporting you! You've just been reported for being a bot!" He kept "explaining" to the table that I'll play few hands but play them very aggressively. Some people didn't even know what a bot was. This guy felt so smart. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

HAHAHAHA. Yes I added him to my buddy list and now that my chat is enabled I will look for him and go laugh at him.

[ZenMusician]

ZenMusician (K [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]Q [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img])
Villain: (??)

Board: J [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] T [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 7 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 4 [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] A [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]

Godzilla sized pot as we raised like infinity times.

Villain shows (A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] A [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img])

Villain: Nice reraising with crap!
ZenMusician: I'm still learning
Villain: Well...learn about EV!! It was -EV to bet that way!
ZenMusician: What is EV?
Villain: There's a good video on BillFillmaff.com
ZenMusician: I don't have internet
#1: LOL!
#2: haha
#3 LMAO!
#4 dude I just spit beer!!