A \"stinky\" situation
 

Situation: You are in the bathroom, making a sacrifice of normal, average size to the porcelain god. When you finish, you reach for some toilet paper only to find there's none remaining. There are no rolls in the bathroom area. The sinks, in the room directly connected to the bathroom, do not contain any toilet paper underneath them. There are no available, normal alternates in the apartment (toilet paper, tissues etc). The other bathroom, on the opposite side of the apartment, is currently occupied by your female roommate who is taking a shower (assuming that you wouldn't sneak in there out of decency). Your other roommates are currently not in the apartment.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

no kleenex in the bathroom?

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

wtf

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

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no kleenex in the bathroom?

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Nothing.

I ask this question because the exact situation happened to me. I am curious as to how others would react.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

You forgot the be a balla and use cash-money option.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

Take a shower. In fact, what are you doing not showering after anyway? Dry TP don't get all the poo off.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

This situation completely depends on the type of dump you made.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

[ QUOTE ]
Take a shower. In fact, what are you doing not showering after anyway? Dry TP don't get all the poo off.

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wtf? You shower every time you take a crap? That's weird.

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You forgot the be a balla and use cash-money option.

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lol

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

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This situation completely depends on the type of dump you made.

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I'll add that in.

It's an average sized dump.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

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[ QUOTE ]
Take a shower. In fact, what are you doing not showering after anyway? Dry TP don't get all the poo off.

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wtf? You shower every time you take a crap? That's weird.

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I only go once a day. It's like clockwork. I drop a duece, wipe, shower.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation *DELETED*
 

Post deleted by daryn

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

I quit using regular TP when I discovered coffee filters did the trick.

Anyone know where I can find coffee filters by the roll?

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

The clear move is sucking it up while you search the joint for something usable (filters will do I guess). I've never been so desperate as to use a cloth of any sort.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

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[ QUOTE ]
This situation completely depends on the type of dump you made.

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I'll add that in.

It's an average sized dump.

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size is irrelevant.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This situation completely depends on the type of dump you made.

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I'll add that in.

It's an average sized dump.

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size is irrelevant.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah - it's really all about texture.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

Of the offered choices, coffee filters is best in this situation.

If there were more females in the apartment, such that you basically had a finish everything without leaving the bathroom, I'd recommend wiping with your underwear. If necessary, use your socks also. Then get it all out of the apartment as discretely as possible.

Also, to the poster who recommends showering: you're almost right. Dry paper wiping doesn't get it all. Kleenex Flushable Fresh Wipes FTW. They're just like wet wipes for baby butts, but for big boy butts. Just keep some by the toilet. Your butt has never felt so clean and they can back up the regular TP in a situation like the OP's.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

WTF? Dude just yell at your female roommate to get you some toilet paper and have her chuck it through the door. How has no one suggested this yet?

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

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WTF? Dude just yell at your female roommate to get you some toilet paper and have her chuck it through the door. How has no one suggested this yet?

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obviously

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

Clinch and Pinch

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

Sock, is the correct answer.

Especially if you are in a foreign country, in a dirty bathroom, where you don't speak the language, with no other options.

Then you can do the Miami Vice thing suit, shoes, no socks.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

I never sit down to poop without looking if there's toilet paper first. Not doing so seems as stupid to me as when women complain they fall in toilets if men forget to put the seat down. Unimaginable anyone could be that dumb.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

[ QUOTE ]
Take a shower. In fact, what are you doing not showering after anyway? Dry TP don't get all the poo off.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yup.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

[ QUOTE ]
Of the offered choices, coffee filters is best in this situation.

If there were more females in the apartment, such that you basically had a finish everything without leaving the bathroom, I'd recommend wiping with your underwear. If necessary, use your socks also. Then get it all out of the apartment as discretely as possible.

Also, to the poster who recommends showering: you're almost right. Dry paper wiping doesn't get it all. Kleenex Flushable Fresh Wipes FTW. They're just like wet wipes for baby butts, but for big boy butts. Just keep some by the toilet. Your butt has never felt so clean and they can back up the regular TP in a situation like the OP's.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've used various types of wipes for this. Now I saw some Tucks medicated pads(witchhazel is the active ingredient) at Costco for 7 bucks for 200 of them, divided into jars with 100 each, and got those. Pretty nice, and no alcohol sting.

Using toilet paper only is nasty. I remember reading about Stephen Sonderberg saying he told Will Smith about Tucks and made him a convert for life. He said something to him like, "You'll weep bitter tears when use one for the first time and see how much you've left behind after using regular toilet paper."

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

Texture of poo is key here. If it's one of them solid ones, nice and clean, no aftermatch leftovers on the chute, then you can get away with not even whiping.

If there was some garbage left in that can though... that's ugly. If she's not going tosee you running around the apartment looking for something, then do that, you can make do. Socks, or bare hands... unacceptable.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

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Texture of poo is key here. If it's one of them solid ones, nice and clean, no aftermatch leftovers on the chute, then you can get away with not even whiping.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not wiping is extremely pukeworthy.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Texture of poo is key here. If it's one of them solid ones, nice and clean, no aftermatch leftovers on the chute, then you can get away with not even whiping.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not wiping is extremely pukeworthy.

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Yeah, how would you even know without wiping once? Sometimes it seems nice and clean, and then 6 wipes later you're crying, your ass is bleeding, and the toilet's clogged.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

Honestly, not wiping is not the last option. Filters >>>> cloth (kill yourself) >>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>>>>>>>> >>> not wiping>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>hand

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

I went with towel, and it seems like an obvious choice to me. I don't think it would be that big of a deal to use that for an emergency. Just make sure you clean it thoroughly when you're done or just throw it in the laundry.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

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I went with towel, and it seems like an obvious choice to me. I don't think it would be that big of a deal to use that for an emergency. Just make sure you clean it thoroughly when you're done or just throw it out .

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FYP

Seriously, just use a cloth. And when you're done wiping, go to the store and get some TP.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

was op actually on the can when he posted this and is he still there waiting to get enough votes to determine an action?

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

Do you people saying "take a shower LDO" really shower after you dump always? What happens if you take multiple craps in one day, like 3-4?

Coffee filters and it's not even close.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

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Do you people saying "take a shower LDO" really shower after you dump always? What happens if you take multiple craps in one day, like 3-4?

Coffee filters and it's not even close.

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Happy to do whatever it takes to keep clean. ESPECIALLY if going multiple times. Takes maybe two minutes to do, no big deal at all. Much better than the alternatives. I just do a preliminary bunch of wipes to get most of it off first, but then don't worry about spending 20 minutes abrading my ass meat in a hopeless effort to wipe it clean. Hop in the shower and it's done way better, quicker, and easier on the ole buttskin.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

True Story: My buddy really had to make a sacrafice and was with his parents looking at a house with a realtor. He jetted upstairs and when he was finished realized there was no toilet paper as the entire house was empty. So he took his socks off, used those and then put them in the cabinet under the bathroom sink.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

JUST HAVE THE ROOMMATE GET YOU SOME JESUS CHRIST THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

Easy go wipeless

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

just start shouting "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!"

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

[ QUOTE ]
was op actually on the can when he posted this and is he still there waiting to get enough votes to determine an action?

[/ QUOTE ]

lol no

I used coffee filters. The only roommate in the apartment was in the shower in the bathroom on the opposite side of the apartment.

Since toilet paper cannot telekinetically pass through walls, she couldn't throw it to me.

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

lol at this thread, of the choices why would you not use coffee filters?

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

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Sock, is the correct answer.

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emergency bog roll

Re: A \"stinky\" situation
 

I'd rather wait 2 minutes to get toilet paper than walk around the apartment with poo all over my ass or use a sock.