Your best wasted story
 

Generally speaking I would say that the people in OOT get more wasted than any of the other forums. If all of you are drinking all the time than there must be some pretty good stories from bars/ parties or any other time when you were really [censored] up.

I have a history of heavily abusing alcohol despite the fact that I just turned 21 and have had some wild times. Just to name a few: kicked out of the dorms at orientation 3 months before my freshman year even started (dont ask), hooked up with a woman almost twice my age (cougars rock!), blacked out at a bar a couple days after my 21st birthday and woke up having no clue where I was (I was in detox about 30 min from the bar I got arrested at). There are countless others but I am too lazy to think of them.

So...

What is your best story from a heavy night of drinking?

Re: Your best wasted story
 

being put under suicide watch for three days at a locked down mental institution.

lame story.

RB

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
being put under suicide watch for three days at a locked down mental institution.

lame story.

RB

[/ QUOTE ]

This sounds like an unhappy wasted story and this story is probably the result of something more than a night of heavy drinking so I think it has little to do with this thread.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

It's Friday night 5:00. I just got home and it has been a busy week. I have the rest of the night but tomorrow I have to work at 4:00 pm. I have a twelve pack of beer and a liter of vodka.

"Beer before liquor, never been sicker." Hogwash! My gut is lined with steel. Besides, after a good buzz starts to develop, it needs to be fed and beer is too slow. No, now is the time to chill for a few hours and enjoy the beer.

8:00 pm. The beer is gone and my buzz has quickly been supplemented by a couple of shots. I can't believe no one is ready to go to the bar yet. I am eager. My friends know to hide my keys. Pete suggests that I quit drinking the vodka straight. I add some ice cubes and swirl it around. That doesn't pacify him as he snuck tonic into my glass.

At ten I finally convince everyone to go to the bar with me. It was fall and the bars were usually hopping at that time then. It was Long Island Friday at Brothers. Compared to straight vodka, this tasted like cotton candy. For a couple of hours every thing is quiet. Then we decide to walk down the block to get some delusions, the super powerful drink that wins you a shirt if you can drink ten of them.

It always seems that all conflicts happen en route to the bar. "What's this? These men seem angry at each other. Don't they understand that I'm drunk and happy"? I approach the two strangers and attempt to broker a peace deal. Now they both want to fight me for spitting in their faces and belittling them for failing to understand. At this point I have very little control over my saliva while talking, let alone while preaching the virtues of the best way to enjoy a buzz. Alas douche bags, my entourage is too big you will have no satisfaction today as I am dragged away by my friends.

We get to the Grand Illusion and promptly order our delusions. After one I decide to take a power nap in one of the booths to freshen up. I awake, my friends say an hour later, with a pipe in my mouth. "Ha, I knew that would get him up!" I hear a strange man say. I could go for some weed. Yes, I think I'll have some. I light the bowl and am having troubles. This doesn't taste like any weed I've smoked before. "Your smoking coke dude!" The strange man says. I quickly get indignant. "Coke is supposed to be snorted you [censored]!" The strange man, who has suddenly morphed into my good friend Zach, is amused and breaks out a line. Upseedaisees! Wow! I've never done coke before. I just caught my second wind.

My friend Mike was working that night as a bouncer and he politely asked us to leave after I asked some chick if she would show me her [censored] if I gave her a quarter. "That's all they are worth bitch!" I say too loud as I spill my delusion all over the bar. We leave and walk home. On the way home I theorized, loudly, on how I could get arrested for treason that night. It must have been my racket that attracted the police. "Yes officer, I turned 21 just last month. Of course, they won't let me in with out it. Yes, we know where we are going and no, I can't tell you that. It's against my morals to recite numbers while this drunk but I would be willing to draw you a map." The cop is cool and drives me and my roommate home.

We get home to find our good friend's fiancée sitting in our house crying. Apparently our friend broke off the engagement with him and declared that she wanted to break up completely. This guy then starts to talk about killing himself that night. We argue for a half an hour. My roommate then passes out. I'm left alone to deal with this very distraught man. I'm in no condition to be doing this but I'm having a melodramatic drunk tonight so I am motivated to stay awake. I argue with him for seemingly hours. At this point, time isn't a dimension I can perceive. Some how we ended up fighting. I tell him that I'm not going to let him kill himself and we wrestle. Damn, where are my wrestling skills I honed in high school! They have escaped me as he is prevailing. I make a mad dash for the door and put my back to it and brace myself with my arms. "You're going to have to punch me out to get out of here"! I exclaim. He then winds up and knocks me the [censored] out.

I come to and he is gone. I rationalize that getting knocked out is a good excuse for stealing my roommate’s beer. Ahh, I almost forgot about the vodka as well. A couple shots are due. It's late but I've still got some party left in me. The moment I begin to wash down my first shot Jessica the heart breaker walks in through our door. She's freaking out because she just got a suicide notice from her fiancée via voicemail. She then notices my face and says "[censored] that [censored], I don't care if he does now"! I offer her a drink to calm her nerves. She is very concerned with my face despite my claims that I was in no pain. It all started with her kissing my cheek to make it better and ended with her slipping out of my bed unnoticed sometime in the afternoon. [censored] it; I never liked that douche bag fiancée of hers anyway. Just another Friday night.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

Jokerthief,

That story is pretty [censored] sweet. It has all the elements of a great story: alcohol, drugs, violence, and sex.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

One of my favorites is getting drunk at an Irish Pub near North Beach in SF and walking back home across the city to the TL where I lived.

In the morning I woke up with this large, ugly wicker piece of furniture set up next to my bed. It was a pretty useless dresser type thing. It was tattered and broken in places. I was pretty surprised to find it there and called my friend who I had walked back with to find out why it was in my apartment. He picked up the phone and was like, "Dude, there's a trampoline in my room."

Apparently we went dumpster diving on the way home and picked out some new sht for our apartments. He said he remembers some homeless guy telling us there was a bunch of good free stuff in the dumpster and us climbing in. He didn't remember carrying the trampoline home.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

Stupidest thing I did while drunk:

As a freshman on the rugby team, the seniors and older guys make you drink a lot. A loooooot. One day after a game we were partying at the rugby house and after we finished the two kegs, we decided to have some fun with them. The throwing contests got old, so we decided that we needed to put broken doors/boards, and other large rectangular objects laying across the two kegs, and people would jump off the porch on the upper level through the boards. People did it as individuals, but by the end there was only one door left and me and another rookie hadn't done it yet. So we get up on the porch, link up and jump.

I landed with my right leg on the left side keg, while my body went straight done, head first. Thhe other kid went right through. I couldn't move for a while, but we determined nothing was broken, just severly sprained and bruised.

Nothing really funny, I'm not a huge drinker (bud is where its at [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] ) but there it is.

oh yea, if you are wondering why there were doors and stuff lying around, the rugby house is a shithole and they broke many of them off the hinges.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

I vaguely remember karate kicking and judo chopping street signs and bringing them home on my trips home from the bar before. Also, parking cones, patio furniture, and shot glasses/pitchers.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
I vaguely remember karate kicking and judo chopping street signs and bringing them home on my trips home from the bar before. Also, parking cones, patio furniture, and shot glasses/pitchers.

[/ QUOTE ]

You must have one hell of a judo chop to be able to take down a street sign.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I vaguely remember karate kicking and judo chopping street signs and bringing them home on my trips home from the bar before. Also, parking cones, patio furniture, and shot glasses/pitchers.

[/ QUOTE ]

You must have one hell of a judo chop to be able to take down a street sign.

[/ QUOTE ]

The street signs were loose in the ground from rain and I had already loosened it up by repeatedly karate kicking it. The judo chop was just for dramatic effect to impress the ladies.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

I jumped in the fountain at the Paris... and swam around. Then hailed a cab from the strip soaking wet back to my hotel and called like 5 hookers. Then dismissed EVERY LAST ONE as being too ugly for me. I rule.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
I jumped in the fountain at the Paris... and swam around. Then hailed a cab from the strip soaking wet back to my hotel and called like 5 hookers. Then dismissed EVERY LAST ONE as being too ugly for me. I rule.

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I jumped in the fountain at the Paris... and swam around. Then hailed a cab from the strip soaking wet back to my hotel and called like 5 hookers. Then dismissed EVERY LAST ONE as being too ugly for me. I rule.

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah apparently you're not supposed to just summon cabs from the sidewalk. It's not like you see NY people doing on tv. In vegas, at least, I dunno.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

I partied at a redneck's trailer one time in high school, and this crazy ass drunk goes out and tries to beat the [censored] out of one of the bulls he was responsible for. He headbutted a bull, then passed out and the bull moved like 2 feet over and kept on eating.

Cambraceres

Re: Your best wasted story
 

I'm not quite the drunkard compared to some OOTiots. As a result, this story is pretty tame.

I had just moved to Bloomington, IN from a suburb of Chicago. I moved in with a guy and a girl. The guy ended up being a complete 'tard and probably deserves a thread about him. The girl had just broken up with her husband. We obviously had a connection, and she made sure that if we moved in together that nothing could happen between us. This led to a lot of sexual tension between us. Anyway, in celebration of our move in, we decided to have a party.

The party ended up being a smallish (15 people at most) get together. Unfortunately, I pounded 5 good sized screwdrivers pretty quickly before most of the people showed up. I should preface this by saying, I had met maybe 4 or 5 of the people that showed up.

Everyone's hanging out, talking, and generally having a good time. Then the vodka hit me and the night got kind of hazy. That drunk feeling where memories blend it together. I ended up loudly proclaiming that my roommate was beautiful and that everyone should tell her that. She, of course, tries to calm me down, but I belligerently talk over her. She has to drag me into her bedroom and tell me to cut it out.

When I come back to the party, I lay down in the living room. I look up at the ceiling, which beings to circle ahead like I had just spun myself around for 5 minutes. Even drunk I know I'm in trouble. I lay down on a couch hoping to pass out before I puke. No dice. I make a pre-emptive visit to the bathroom, puke, then climb into bed to pass out.

Told you it was lame.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not quite the drunkard compared to some OOTiots. As a result, this story is pretty tame.

I had just moved to Bloomington, IN from a suburb of Chicago. I moved in with a guy and a girl. The guy ended up being a complete 'tard and probably deserves a thread about him. The girl had just broken up with her husband. We obviously had a connection, and she made sure that if we moved in together that nothing could happen between us. This led to a lot of sexual tension between us. Anyway, in celebration of our move in, we decided to have a party.

The party ended up being a smallish (15 people at most) get together. Unfortunately, I pounded 5 good sized screwdrivers pretty quickly before most of the people showed up. I should preface this by saying, I had met maybe 4 or 5 of the people that showed up.

Everyone's hanging out, talking, and generally having a good time. Then the vodka hit me and the night got kind of hazy. That drunk feeling where memories blend it together. I ended up loudly proclaiming that my roommate was beautiful and that everyone should tell her that. She, of course, tries to calm me down, but I belligerently talk over her. She has to drag me into her bedroom and tell me to cut it out.

When I come back to the party, I lay down in the living room. I look up at the ceiling, which beings to circle ahead like I had just spun myself around for 5 minutes. Even drunk I know I'm in trouble. I lay down on a couch hoping to pass out before I puke. No dice. I make a pre-emptive visit to the bathroom, puke, then climb into bed to pass out.

Told you it was lame.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, that story is not good.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

Bloomington sucks. Fort Wayne is where its at baby.

God Im so glad I moved to LA.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

I expect someone to say "wow, why open the thread then?" but seriously, people who tell "OMG LOL THAT ONE TIME I WAS SO DRUNK LET ME TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED ROFL" stories are among the biggest [censored] ever.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
I expect someone to say "wow, why open the thread then?" but seriously, people who tell "OMG LOL THAT ONE TIME I WAS SO DRUNK LET ME TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED ROFL" stories are among the biggest [censored] ever.

[/ QUOTE ]

What's up your ass dude? Are you a judgemental Mormon or did you end up having a gay sex encounter when you got drunk one time?

Re: Your best wasted story
 

This thread [censored] sucks, that's what's up my ass.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

you like things up your ass?

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
This thread [censored] sucks, that's what's up my ass.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry dude. I really am. I wasnt aware that every thread that is posted on 2+2 had to meet your approval. Ill PM you a draft before I ever post here again. Thanks for your understanding and I am really sorry.

I will never make this mistake again,

Keystone

Re: Your best wasted story
 

My best friends birthday, sadly he has gone to visit his family when we should be getting smashed.
At about 6 pm i do a line and log in to play. 4 hours and about 1 gram later im up 16k or so.
So i break out the liquor to celebrate.Mind you this liquor was purchased by me to be drunk with my boy on his birthday, since he isnt here , i decide i will drink his share too.
3 drinks and another line later i log in for some small stakes holdem cuz im bored, drop $75 in the space of 5 mins and am berated by every1 on the table.
I call my boy at this point and the following conversation ensues
Me: "Yo, hows ur [censored] birthday going man."
Him : "Dude im sitting here watching some retarded [censored] movie with my parents"
Me: "Good for u, im up a decent bit today, ive about a gram of yay in me, and some liquor as well. I think I will celebrate your birthday for you."
Him: "[censored] you [censored] [censored]"
Me : "Im gonna go partying, then going to strip club and see if i cant tittyfuck a hottie there tonite"
Him : "[censored] that, im coming back, ill be there in 2 hours, answer ur [censored] phone if i call"
He hangs up.
I get ready to go partayyy, i shave, cut my self in 3 places, Get dressed. Call a cab and go to a club.
There i meet some friends i know, and am hanging out with them, i excuse my self to go smoke a cigarette.
I go out the back door to smoke, and this hotttiee who ive never seen before comes up to me.
Her : "Do you got anything on you?"
Me(In my best Tony Montana voice): "I got balls."
Her : "Do you have any snow on you?"
Me : "Who the [censored] are you to ask me that?"
Her : "Can i get some?"
Me : "Gonna cost you"
Her : "How much?"
Me : "I dunno, lemme think about it."
I am smoking my cigarette, and decide to give her some.
We go to the men's room, inside a stall and i break out my mirror and draw her up a line. She snorts it.
Me : "Whats ur [censored] name?"
Her : "Jessica"
Me : "Im gonna go to a strip club, u coming?"
Her : "Sure"
I leave the club and am walking with her looking for a cab, when my boy calls me.
Him : "Yo, where are you?"
Me : "Going to (name of strip club) with this broad."
Him : " Whose the [censored] broad?"
Me : " Some chick i met."
Him : " Meet me at the strip club"
So Jessica and me hail a cab and go to the strip club.
Get into the strip club, without anything happening, waiting for my friend
Get a few lap dances in the meantime.
He gets there around 1:30 am.
I buy him a 30 min "lingerie show"
He is dead sober so we get some shots to [censored] him up first, and then i take him to the men's room and do a couple lines each.
He is the kind who gets [censored] up by yay real easy and real fast.
Me and jessica are talking about random [censored] , and then the bouncer comes up to me and says, "your friend is waiting outside, i asked him to leave."
Im like WTF!!!
I go outside, and he tells me that they threw him out because he tried to shove a finger up the strippers snatch.
Me : " Why the [censored] would u do that?"
Him : " Cuz its my [censored] birthday"
Me : " Dude the [censored] lingerie show was ur bday gift, not herpes."
Jessica is watchng and laughing. We decide to go back to my friends place and chill for some.
We get there and break out some whisky, we pop in Led Zeppelin the album and are chilling.
I put my arm around the broad and try to push it up her shirt.
My boy starts laughing, and i tell him to [censored] off.
He leaves us alone and i start making out with jessica on his couch.
Soon she is topless and i do a line off her [censored].
I am like, hold on...lemme get a condom.
Shes like ok. I go to the bathroom and get a condom.
By the time i return to her SHE HAS PUKED ALL OVER THE COUCH.
I kick the bitch out and begin to clean up the [censored] couch.

Moral of the story : "[censored] the bitch before she pukes on the couch"

Re: Your best wasted story
 

The moral of the story is classic.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

i have about 8 trillion of these stories....of note

was at the drift inn in the hamptons at there summer ending party. went under the deck to take a leak, woke up the next day under the deck at 10am [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

i had just gotten a job at a mobil station from a friend who worked there. we were in 11th grade. i trained on a saturday, they put he and i in charge of the place the next day. they didnt have a store front mobile mart, but it had the credit card processor, etc...we proceeded to bake out the mobile mart. we then began drinking. an old lady pulled in, i went to fill up her tank. the lever wouldnt stick in place, so i asked my friend to try, as hes trying to fill up the car, i notice the womans gas tank says full. she says 'oh my husband must of filled it up this morning' my friend says he still needs to charge her the few dollars that pumped.

he goes in to make change but didnt take the nozzle out of her tank. she left the station. unfortunately the breakaway gas thing didnt work and it broke and began spewing gas all over the joint. friend had a hard time finding the kill switch. we were then instructed by the station owner to dump quick dry on it, but we couldnt get into the mechanic shop(another story here, friend effed up and let someone take the key for it). so station guy instructs us to pour water on the gas spill.......ALERT

this sent the gas into the sewer systems. the place was cordoned by the police, the EPA was there, it was a nightmare and sobered me up pretty quickly.

i went in on tuesday to see what aftermath there was with the mobil people. i asked if i still had a job LOL. they fired me, and gave me a paycheck, less the 20 gallons of gas that spilled............

err, that was long. i will keep the rest in the vault

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
It's Friday night 5:00. I just got home and it has been a busy week. I have the rest of the night but tomorrow I have to work at 4:00 pm. I have a twelve pack of beer and a liter of vodka.

"Beer before liquor, never been sicker." Hogwash! My gut is lined with steel. Besides, after a good buzz starts to develop, it needs to be fed and beer is too slow. No, now is the time to chill for a few hours and enjoy the beer.

8:00 pm. The beer is gone and my buzz has quickly been supplemented by a couple of shots. I can't believe no one is ready to go to the bar yet. I am eager. My friends know to hide my keys. Pete suggests that I quit drinking the vodka straight. I add some ice cubes and swirl it around. That doesn't pacify him as he snuck tonic into my glass.

At ten I finally convince everyone to go to the bar with me. It was fall and the bars were usually hopping at that time then. It was Long Island Friday at Brothers. Compared to straight vodka, this tasted like cotton candy. For a couple of hours every thing is quiet. Then we decide to walk down the block to get some delusions, the super powerful drink that wins you a shirt if you can drink ten of them.

It always seems that all conflicts happen en route to the bar. "What's this? These men seem angry at each other. Don't they understand that I'm drunk and happy"? I approach the two strangers and attempt to broker a peace deal. Now they both want to fight me for spitting in their faces and belittling them for failing to understand. At this point I have very little control over my saliva while talking, let alone while preaching the virtues of the best way to enjoy a buzz. Alas douche bags, my entourage is too big you will have no satisfaction today as I am dragged away by my friends.

We get to the Grand Illusion and promptly order our delusions. After one I decide to take a power nap in one of the booths to freshen up. I awake, my friends say an hour later, with a pipe in my mouth. "Ha, I knew that would get him up!" I hear a strange man say. I could go for some weed. Yes, I think I'll have some. I light the bowl and am having troubles. This doesn't taste like any weed I've smoked before. "Your smoking coke dude!" The strange man says. I quickly get indignant. "Coke is supposed to be snorted you [censored]!" The strange man, who has suddenly morphed into my good friend Zach, is amused and breaks out a line. Upseedaisees! Wow! I've never done coke before. I just caught my second wind.

My friend Mike was working that night as a bouncer and he politely asked us to leave after I asked some chick if she would show me her [censored] if I gave her a quarter. "That's all they are worth bitch!" I say too loud as I spill my delusion all over the bar. We leave and walk home. On the way home I theorized, loudly, on how I could get arrested for treason that night. It must have been my racket that attracted the police. "Yes officer, I turned 21 just last month. Of course, they won't let me in with out it. Yes, we know where we are going and no, I can't tell you that. It's against my morals to recite numbers while this drunk but I would be willing to draw you a map." The cop is cool and drives me and my roommate home.

We get home to find our good friend's fiancée sitting in our house crying. Apparently our friend broke off the engagement with him and declared that she wanted to break up completely. This guy then starts to talk about killing himself that night. We argue for a half an hour. My roommate then passes out. I'm left alone to deal with this very distraught man. I'm in no condition to be doing this but I'm having a melodramatic drunk tonight so I am motivated to stay awake. I argue with him for seemingly hours. At this point, time isn't a dimension I can perceive. Some how we ended up fighting. I tell him that I'm not going to let him kill himself and we wrestle. Damn, where are my wrestling skills I honed in high school! They have escaped me as he is prevailing. I make a mad dash for the door and put my back to it and brace myself with my arms. "You're going to have to punch me out to get out of here"! I exclaim. He then winds up and knocks me the [censored] out.

I come to and he is gone. I rationalize that getting knocked out is a good excuse for stealing my roommate’s beer. Ahh, I almost forgot about the vodka as well. A couple shots are due. It's late but I've still got some party left in me. The moment I begin to wash down my first shot Jessica the heart breaker walks in through our door. She's freaking out because she just got a suicide notice from her fiancée via voicemail. She then notices my face and says "[censored] that [censored], I don't care if he does now"! I offer her a drink to calm her nerves. She is very concerned with my face despite my claims that I was in no pain. It all started with her kissing my cheek to make it better and ended with her slipping out of my bed unnoticed sometime in the afternoon. [censored] it; I never liked that douche bag fiancée of hers anyway. Just another Friday night.

[/ QUOTE ]

My only problem with this story is that it's not at the end of the thread. This story was amazing, I'm not even bothering to read the others after this one, they're just gonna pale.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

sheeeit - man, you wanted HAPPY stories?-

hell, that is a happy story - I got out, didn't I?

RB

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
sheeeit - man, you wanted HAPPY stories?-

hell, that is a happy story - I got out, didn't I?

RB

[/ QUOTE ]

Good for you.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

I love these stories.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

I have a few wasted stories that don't involve hospitalization -

I went after work to a local irish bar where I started knocking back Rumplemintz - long story short - meet cute girl, scare her off probably with the 9th Rumplemintz - meanwhile, my friend Adam is there with my two coworkers - I'm in friendly territory and according to my friend Adam I am as lucid as a priest on Sunday - coherant - everything -

everything past that is a fragment - apparently I stood up, landed on my knees and was so drunk the staff almost called detox on me - my coworkers/friend got me to a hotel where I passed out and showed up late for work two hrs the next day hungover in the same clothes -

closest I ever came to totally blanking out suddenly - and it was like it wasn't there and then blam, it was there - I quit Rumplemintz shortly thereafter - and my friend ended up getting into something with one of my coworkers which I didn't need to know about but did anyways - (thank god it wasn't the married one) -

-----------

played a gig one night where I played for 90 min acoustically at a bar, downing shots of whiskey - about 5-6 over 90 min - probably closer to 7-8 -

I had from 75 min to 2 hrs and after 75 was content to go the 2nd hr but at about the 90 min. mark, my friend says it was like I suddenly forgot how to play guitar - LOL - a classic rock and roll moment - I had to be driven home from that gig - that happened twice -

-------

oh yah - Labor day - drank too much - went in friends dimly lit bathroom to throw up - did - turned on light - lid was down - damn. - cleaned it up and flushed - clogged toilet - but I didn't realize this cause I had left the apt. in shame at that point -

yah - thanks for reminding me why I quit again. an obscene tolerance up until a point and then I was in serious danger - LOL -

RB

Re: Your best wasted story
 

Should told the bitch to brush her teeth and take a shower and then you should have [censored] her.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
I partied at a redneck's trailer one time in high school, and this crazy ass drunk goes out and tries to beat the [censored] out of one of the bulls he was responsible for. He headbutted a bull, then passed out and the bull moved like 2 feet over and kept on eating.

Cambraceres

[/ QUOTE ]

There is some wonderful mental imagery in this story. The thought of some red neck hick head butting a bull, passing out and then the bull not caring at all is hilarious.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I partied at a redneck's trailer one time in high school, and this crazy ass drunk goes out and tries to beat the [censored] out of one of the bulls he was responsible for. He headbutted a bull, then passed out and the bull moved like 2 feet over and kept on eating.

Cambraceres

[/ QUOTE ]

There is some wonderful mental imagery in this story. The thought of some red neck hick head butting a bull, passing out and then the bull not caring at all is hilarious.

[/ QUOTE ]

To get the full effect you have to see this huy though. A video of this would be priceless. This dude was big and muscular and I relly thought he was going to hurt the bull he was so gung ho. I just didn't understand that a 2500 pound bull doesn't much care about getting kicked by even a big human. I was all worried, then he blacked out and we geeked for a minute.

Cam

Re: Your best wasted story
 

I'll tell you a not so good story. I just got home from a night out where I ended up going home with a girl. Things were going fine, she had just given me a BJ. I then took her pants off and began to explore her area only to realize her coochie stank, I almost gagged. From there, I couldn't get it up and I ended up leaving a few moments later ... left without my shirt, just dipped. In the car driving home, feeling nasty... I smelled my hand and almost threw up.

Rant over.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

I go with a group of friends to Niagra Falls to hit the strip clubs. We stop at the nearby doughnut shop on the walk back to the motel room. The drunkest one of us (not me) goes behind the counter and starts getting his own doughnuts while saying, "let me help you with that" to the worker.

While eating the doughnuts on the continued walk home, they threw all the poolside furniture into the pool, of the motel we were staying at. That was one pissed off Arab in the morning.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

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I'll tell you a not so good story. I just got home from a night out where I ended up going home with a girl. Things were going fine, she had just given me a BJ. I then took her pants off and began to explore her area only to realize her coochie stank, I almost gagged. From there, I couldn't get it up and I ended up leaving a few moments later ... left without my shirt, just dipped. In the car driving home, feeling nasty... I smelled my hand and almost threw up.

Rant over.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am pretty sure that you were suppose to save that for the " your best I hooked with a girl that had a smelly coochie thread" but I may be wrong.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

You know you have at least a slight drinking problem when your friends who also get really wasted monitor your drinking. Some of my close friends have to do this too. They are always telling me to slowdown and to just stay with beer.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

[ QUOTE ]
Moral of the story : "[censored] the bitch before she pukes on the couch"

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Gold.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

While Im probably going to regret telling this....


I once was so drunk I forgot to pull my pants down in the bathroom. A large mess ensued. It was nasty and I didnt drink for like 4 months after that. On a side note I discovered how awesome showering when drunk is and do it all the time now.

Re: Your best wasted story
 

Hmm I've had a few. Here's one that happened a month or so ago..

A few of my friends and I are driving up to Providence to see Badfish, a Sublime cover band at Lupos. So, I start drinking Captain Morgan with Gatorade as a chaser. On the way, I had maybe 6 or 7 shots, so I was on a good pace. We get to the parking garage, where we chill before every concert we go to at Lupos. Many shots and a few bowls later, it's time to go inside.
I lost count of how many shots I had, I suppose around 13-15 within a little over an hour. It could have been more than that because it's tough to keep track without a shot glass.
So, we walk to Lupos and I am very drunk and according to my friends I was very belligerent.
We get inside and I guess the opening band was still on, so we were walking around to find a good spot on the floor. While we are walking around, I guess I was accidently spilling peoples beers and trying to apologize to them, but I wasn't making any sense. A security guard came up to me and asked what I was doing, if I had been drinking etc. I said no of course, and he dragged me out the back door. I was probably inside for about 5 or 6 minutes total.
So, I had 2 hours to kill, still obviously very drunk, on the streets of Providence. I walk up to this group of gangster lookin black kids and ask them for a lighter, something I would never do sober of course. Well, they tried selling me all types of drugs but I told them no thanks.
I also had an encounter with a police officer that threatened to bring me into detox, I think he was getting mad that I was sitting up against the Lupos building.
I was pretty lucky that I didn't get arrested or beaten up. It turns out those black kids were pretty chill and I talked to them for a while.
Good times.