Beat: My Life

[Rob121]

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I don't even know the guy at all and have never talked to him once but the replies in this thread really made me shed a tear as gay as that sounds.

Lurker get well my friend, get well.

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BAHAHAHAHAHhaHAHAHha

[boomshakalaka]

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Excellent post Jazzy, thanks for that man.



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yah man, good stuff, Ive been in a funk for the past few days, and this really lifted my spirits along with a few other posts in this thread.

When depressed you just feel so alone, you feel like no one understands. The thing is a lot of people do understand but when not depressed, they repress the feelings. I know I do it, Im scared Ill fall back into it if I open myself up like that. So it can be really hard to find someone to talk to that 'understands.' You were right about the internet being 'not real' and addictive, but its also a good starting point. People have a lot less inhibitions, this thread being a perfect example. I certainly wouldnt talk about this stuff in real life except for with a few select people.

[ibluffoldladies]

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Excellent post Jazzy, thanks for that man.



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Thank you for a very eloquent post Jazzy.

[FaDi]

This thread made me sad and scared for a little, then i was happy when he didn't do it

[bknollenberg]

i read a fair amount of this thread and wanted to chime in with a few things.

first, obv, lurker i hope you are doing well and i am equally as here for you as just about anyone else on 2+2. i think we all want the best for you.

to address the "talking about suicide = won't commit suicide issue"; it's stupid to say one way or another what it means. however, in my experience, i have never been PERSONALLY involved in a situation where someone has talked about it and then killed themself. i know that i have been in situations where i have talked about it, said i was going to do it, whatev, and didn't. i've also had many friends, girlfriends, whatever that have done the same. my ex-girlfriend "attempted" to in front of me, cut herself behind my back a few times and then more or less deliberately created a situation where i would discover it, and blah blah. so i'm not saying it doesn't happen; i think it'd be pointless but more importantly incredibly dangerous to label "if someone talks about it they are safe" as fact.

but i understand where lurker is coming from. well, not as much that as i am sympathetic to it. recently and even now i've been going through a pretty awful depressive episode involving a break-up with my girlfriend of a year, which happened basically on the first day of college this year, trying to resort my life and get my [censored] done, go to class, etc, fix my relationship with my parents, etc. it's really hard. sometimes it's too hard, but you make progress. the biggest thing i've learned is to try my hardest to get through the first few days. they are always, always the worst. after that as your mind settles, you see clearer and you can start to rebuild, but in the first few days emotions are by FAR the most intense, the hopelessness is by FAR the greatest, and everything is meaningless. then, as i've found time and time again, you rediscover how important great friends are (PJO I LOVE YOU!!!!), you find reasons to keep going and say "[censored] you" to whoever pulled [censored] on you or whatever was going on, and you sort it out. that's what i'm working on now, at 5:23AM in the library while on 2+2, [x] standard, [ ] good use of time. but seriously, it's cliche but take it one step at a time. i remember the last time this [censored] happened with a different ex-girlfriend. i had transferred schools to be with her, and 4 months later it was over. i had no one and freaked out. i remember vividly that one day i found it in myself to take the trash out. the [censored] trash! looking back it feels stupid and weak that me saying "i found the strength to took the trash out" wasn't a joke, but for those that have had depression and depressive episodes, you probably understand what i mean. make a list of things to do and if you can even cross off one thing, that's something to feel good about and it's progress.

gl lurker and nh to those that posted in here.

[brandysbich]

Lurker,

I dont know you or have never conversed with you, but i'm glad you decided not to do it.

Life is a beautiful, there's just too much to see and do with the little time we're given to not want to take as many years as we can get.

GL with everything