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#33
10-01-2007, 06:38 PM
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Re: How do you open up a shy girl
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#34
10-01-2007, 06:43 PM
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Re: How do you open up a shy girl
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Initially you're going to dominate the conversation. That's just the way things work unfortunately. But once you create a vibe with her, you need to get her talking for a significant amount of your conversation (~40%). There are three ideas that will help. 1) Allow her to qualify herself. She won't feel invested in the conversation until she actually reveals something of substance about herself. A standard line for letting her qualify herself is "so what do you have going for you besides your looks?" In your case something that could work is "wow, I thought you were such a shy, quiet thing but now you won't stop giggling. That's awesome (bring her in for a hug or high-five or reward her physically in some way)!" 2) Create a vacuum when you ask a question. There are correct and incorrect ways to ask non yes/no questions. When you ask one after you've hooked her into an interaction, let/make her answer. Ask the question and look at her expectantly. Don't take the conversational pressure off of her by continuing to talk or explain the question. If she gives a lame answer, call her out on it, re-apply conversational pressure. It's this "vacuum" of providing a topic for her and then not talking that will help get her out of her shell. 3) Foreshadow. Very early on in the interaction try to work into a story or life-view that you value women who can hold their own in two-way conversations. This is also another opportunity for her to qualify herself by adopting that role you set up. Yugoslav [/ QUOTE ] I'm now looking through your previous posts.
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#36
10-01-2007, 06:47 PM
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Re: How do you open up a shy girl
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1) Allow her to qualify herself. She won't feel invested in the conversation until she actually reveals something of substance about herself. A standard line for letting her qualify herself is "so what do you have going for you besides your looks?" In your case something that could work is "wow, I thought you were such a shy, quiet thing but now you won't stop giggling. That's awesome (bring her in for a hug or high-five or reward her physically in some way)!" 2) Create a vacuum when you ask a question. There are correct and incorrect ways to ask non yes/no questions. When you ask one after you've hooked her into an interaction, let/make her answer. Ask the question and look at her expectantly. Don't take the conversational pressure off of her by continuing to talk or explain the question. If she gives a lame answer, call her out on it, re-apply conversational pressure. It's this "vacuum" of providing a topic for her and then not talking that will help get her out of her shell. 3) Foreshadow. Very early on in the interaction try to work into a story or life-view that you value women who can hold their own in two-way conversations. This is also another opportunity for her to qualify herself by adopting that role you set up. [/ QUOTE ] Speaking as a woman, dating you sounds like entirely too much work. (Returns to lurking, since OP prefers women to be seen and not heard.)
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#37
10-01-2007, 07:06 PM
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Re: How do you open up a shy girl
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[ QUOTE ] 1) Allow her to qualify herself. She won't feel invested in the conversation until she actually reveals something of substance about herself. A standard line for letting her qualify herself is "so what do you have going for you besides your looks?" In your case something that could work is "wow, I thought you were such a shy, quiet thing but now you won't stop giggling. That's awesome (bring her in for a hug or high-five or reward her physically in some way)!" 2) Create a vacuum when you ask a question. There are correct and incorrect ways to ask non yes/no questions. When you ask one after you've hooked her into an interaction, let/make her answer. Ask the question and look at her expectantly. Don't take the conversational pressure off of her by continuing to talk or explain the question. If she gives a lame answer, call her out on it, re-apply conversational pressure. It's this "vacuum" of providing a topic for her and then not talking that will help get her out of her shell. 3) Foreshadow. Very early on in the interaction try to work into a story or life-view that you value women who can hold their own in two-way conversations. This is also another opportunity for her to qualify herself by adopting that role you set up. [/ QUOTE ] Speaking as a woman, dating you sounds like entirely too much work. (Returns to lurking, since OP prefers women to be seen and not heard.) [/ QUOTE ] possibly the greatest level ever.
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#38
10-01-2007, 07:36 PM
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Re: How do you open up a shy girl
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] 1) Allow her to qualify herself. She won't feel invested in the conversation until she actually reveals something of substance about herself. A standard line for letting her qualify herself is "so what do you have going for you besides your looks?" In your case something that could work is "wow, I thought you were such a shy, quiet thing but now you won't stop giggling. That's awesome (bring her in for a hug or high-five or reward her physically in some way)!" 2) Create a vacuum when you ask a question. There are correct and incorrect ways to ask non yes/no questions. When you ask one after you've hooked her into an interaction, let/make her answer. Ask the question and look at her expectantly. Don't take the conversational pressure off of her by continuing to talk or explain the question. If she gives a lame answer, call her out on it, re-apply conversational pressure. It's this "vacuum" of providing a topic for her and then not talking that will help get her out of her shell. 3) Foreshadow. Very early on in the interaction try to work into a story or life-view that you value women who can hold their own in two-way conversations. This is also another opportunity for her to qualify herself by adopting that role you set up. [/ QUOTE ] Speaking as a woman, dating you sounds like entirely too much work. (Returns to lurking, since OP prefers women to be seen and not heard.) [/ QUOTE ] I don't spend my time with women who are passive spectators. Yugoslav
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#40
10-01-2007, 08:01 PM
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Re: How do you open up a shy girl
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] 1) Allow her to qualify herself. She won't feel invested in the conversation until she actually reveals something of substance about herself. A standard line for letting her qualify herself is "so what do you have going for you besides your looks?" In your case something that could work is "wow, I thought you were such a shy, quiet thing but now you won't stop giggling. That's awesome (bring her in for a hug or high-five or reward her physically in some way)!" 2) Create a vacuum when you ask a question. There are correct and incorrect ways to ask non yes/no questions. When you ask one after you've hooked her into an interaction, let/make her answer. Ask the question and look at her expectantly. Don't take the conversational pressure off of her by continuing to talk or explain the question. If she gives a lame answer, call her out on it, re-apply conversational pressure. It's this "vacuum" of providing a topic for her and then not talking that will help get her out of her shell. 3) Foreshadow. Very early on in the interaction try to work into a story or life-view that you value women who can hold their own in two-way conversations. This is also another opportunity for her to qualify herself by adopting that role you set up. [/ QUOTE ] Speaking as a woman, dating you sounds like entirely too much work. (Returns to lurking, since OP prefers women to be seen and not heard.) [/ QUOTE ] I don't spend my time with women who are passive spectators. Yugoslav [/ QUOTE ] Your wife says hi.
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