Beat: Barry Bonds

[Slim Pickens]

A fair number of the pitchers he faced were probably juicers too. So were a lot of hitters who didn't hit hardly any home runs (Randy Velarde.... Alex Sanchez anyone?). He was still among the elite on a decidedly unlevel playing field. That being said, I'm not going to feel the least bit sorry for him in ten years when his heart, liver, and testicles simultaneously explode from all the HGH.

beat: heart, liver, and testicles exploding
brag: career home run record
variance: *