Ugh proposal dilemma

[nolanfan34]

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propose to her before the wedding, then ask her to keep it a secret until afterwards. that way you don't upstage your buddy, she won't get jealous of her friend, and it will be your own romantic little secret for a few days.

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Best option for sure. You guys get to have your own inside secret, and can laugh at the ex-roommate when she tries to show you guys up at the wedding. Your GF will probably enjoy knowing she's engaged, while not having to have that discuss with the ex-roommate. Keeps you out of a situation where you feel like you have to one-up the person.

So, basically option B, with a twist.

[BretWeir]

Continue with the plan.

I had my proposal night all planned out like a month in advance--nice dinner at a wonderful restaurant, drinks with a view of Manhattan, hotel, etc. A week before the big day, my then-fiancee made a big deal about how I was dragging my feet, she didn't want to wait any longer, all the same stuff you're worrying about. I just bit my tongue and kept quiet.

It was worth it. When I got down on my knee and brought out the ring, it was all forgotten in a second, and I was happy that I didn't jump the gun and instead did it right.

[jeffnc]

b)

Frankly, she probably won't really get as annoyed as you think she will, unless she's the real catty type. Having said that, if she is really annoyed and has a crappy week until you propose, then the good news is that it will be a much better wedding story later, which is more important than a couple days of attitude, anyway.

[TheWorstPlayer]

d)don't propose

[Dominic]

i choose b. only a bad friend gets engaged right before another friend's wedding. Once your GF has the ring and you forever she won't care at all about some ex-friend who got engaged before her. who cares?

and congrats! way to go.

[raptor517]

i dont really see why these women think they can be so pushy about their desires to wed. it would completely turn me off of the idea of getting married if all my 'girlfriend' or whatever did was nag me about popping the question. meh. option b is obv the best hold ur tongue act like shes not there then hit her with it.

[chopstick]

Sounds like the fiancee has some out of whack priorities. Probably the best thing to do is just sit down with her before your trip and say something like "You can't hurry love. No, you just have to wait. Just trust in a good time, no matter how long it takes."

[AMT]

goofball,

I agree with option b and going ahead as planned with the proposal. Delaying it for any reason seems to be insane to me (unless something else comes up out of the realm of this scenario), and can only lead to bad. Moving it up may make her happy but it's not what you had planned and she is still going to get what she wants. If she lets this bitch effect her emotion on marrying you and lets it be overtaken by jealousy then shes both a) being stupid and b) going to get over it when you do your thing.

also, make sure the sex is really good that night, badbabing no more problems. New sexed up fiancee's are teh nutz. good luck, trip report plz k thx.

[Jay.]

this just sounds like last minute nerves. she hasn't seen her in 2.5 years and after this weekend she'll probably never see her again and for the short period she's in her mind they probably wont talk, it'll just be some small envy. meanwhile you're about to drop a life changing question.

[gumpzilla]

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this just sounds like last minute nerves. she hasn't seen her in 2.5 years and after this weekend she'll probably never see her again and for the short period she's in her mind they probably wont talk, it'll just be some small envy. meanwhile you're about to drop a life changing question.

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Having been in a very similar situation recently, the other woman isn't really the point, per se. She is merely the likely focus for the insecurities that his soon-to-be fiancee has. That all of this will be at a wedding is another likely irritant. So yeah, she'll be agitated. I don't think it will ruin your proposal, though I will say that it seems to me that proposing at somebody else's wedding (even if it's just after) seems kind of tacky.