Trust.

[PITTM]

I have been thinking about it a lot lately and I am wondering what it is that makes us actually trust what another person is saying. I mean, if you're in a relationship and you think about the way it ends and what the two people say to each other about why one or the other thinks it ended. I mean you look back later and go "woah, that person was lying about x, y, and z. How could I have possibly known?".

One specific instance I always think about wrt trust is a relationship my best friend had. It was HS and he started dating this girl colleen. She was gorgeous, super cool and we all got along with her. Suddenly she switched classes and stopped talking to my best friend. He was pretty crushed. Finally I asked him what happened and he said that she wrote him a letter about how since her father left her mom she hadn't been able to trust/commit to other people. I saw Colleen about a year ago and I finally asked her about what had happened. It turns out that this wasn't an excuse, but how she actually feels to this day and hasn't really been able to have a successful relationship even after she has now finished college.

This made me think about that one event in her life and how it will change the way the rest of her life works. I mean if you grow up with you vision of a family being someone who runs from your mother, how could you as a woman want to start a family with a man when youre older?

In contrast, I grew up with 2 parents who loved each other and have always stayed together and never broken each others trust. As a result, I have grown up to be kind of a romantic. I prefer being naked and close to someone i love over the sex and all that, I don't really sleep with girls i dont have feelings for, I would way rather be with one person for 2 years than 24 girls for a month each, etc. After the end of a recent relationship I am kinda crushed and feeling like I may have been too quick to trust the other person and in my head I keep evaluating points at which I could have picked up on some sort of cue that the other person was no longer feeling what I was feeling. Now, with this in the back of my mind I am worried that I will have a more difficult time loving, trusting and respecting whomever I choose to spend my life with in the future, but at the same time I really have no idea how my feelings will be affected. I don't really know what I am looking for here, but I would be shocked if my experience wasn;t shared by others who had some kind of advice. I obv would like to go into way more specifics about how I am feeling about the relationship, but the other person reads this board so I really cannot.