How can I learn how to handle losing better?

hammerva · #1 12-01-2006, 12:14 AM

I figure this is the right section to put this. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

I have many things wrong with my game but there is one that I don't know how to deal with. And that is handling losing. I understand that poker is alot about variance and streaks but I still have the belief that I finish a day of poker with a net loss then it is because I am a terrible player. This is definitely felt the most in limit play. If I start badly or get sucked out once or twice, I really get hard on myself and believe that the reason why I lose is because I am a stupid player. I seem to say alot when I play online "I deserved to lose" because I do something stupid during the session or tournament and just carry it over.

I guess that is one of the things about poker that is tough. The true definition of a good poker player or a bad poker player. I mean for 3 months I turned $75 deposit to around $500. So I am thinking that maybe I am becoming a good player after about a year of play. Then this month I drop back to $175. So now I think I stink at poker and all that success was just dumb luck.

moded · #2 12-01-2006, 01:19 AM

get used to it. Your goal is to make good decisions so play with money you don't need. Winning or losing wont matter as much if you focus on your decision making.

calc · #3 12-01-2006, 03:30 AM

I think the more important question is how do you identify whether your losses are due to bad luck/variance or bad play on your part. It doesn't sound like you know how to tell the difference.

Its also possible you are playing above your bankroll. A lot of players are good at moving up in limits as they win, but not so skilled at moving down in limits as they lose.

Once you get these two issues resolved your losses will be easy to deal with.

bernie · #4 12-01-2006, 04:36 AM

Learn more about the game.

Learn why you won't in every session.

Learn how to analyze a hand.

Learn that sometimes you are doomed to lose a hand no matter what you did. Extend that to losing sessions.(granted, if you're playing well. Honesty is key there)

Learn why you should like people putting bad beats on you. (Also realize those beats aren't personal)

Learn why winning pots is irrelevent to winning poker.

Once you understand those, the bad feelings won't be near as strong and will take much longer to take it's toll.

[ QUOTE ]
So now I think I stink at poker and all that success was just dumb luck.

[/ QUOTE ]

It might've been. Study the game and find out if it was.

b

Poker Plan · #5 12-01-2006, 09:10 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Learn more about the game.

Learn why you won't in every session.

Learn how to analyze a hand.

Learn that sometimes you are doomed to lose a hand no matter what you did. Extend that to losing sessions.(granted, if you're playing well. Honesty is key there)

Learn why you should like people putting bad beats on you. (Also realize those beats aren't personal)

Learn why winning pots is irrelevent to winning poker.

Once you understand those, the bad feelings won't be near as strong and will take much longer to take it's toll.

[ QUOTE ]
So now I think I stink at poker and all that success was just dumb luck.

[/ QUOTE ]

It might've been. Study the game and find out if it was.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Once again, VERY wise words.

Ian

Fightingbee · #6 12-04-2006, 12:49 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Learn more about the game.

Learn why you won't in every session.

Learn how to analyze a hand.

Learn that sometimes you are doomed to lose a hand no matter what you did. Extend that to losing sessions.(granted, if you're playing well. Honesty is key there)

Learn why you should like people putting bad beats on you. (Also realize those beats aren't personal)

Learn why winning pots is irrelevent to winning poker.

Once you understand those, the bad feelings won't be near as strong and will take much longer to take it's toll.

[ QUOTE ]
So now I think I stink at poker and all that success was just dumb luck.

[/ QUOTE ]

It might've been. Study the game and find out if it was.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Once again, VERY wise words.

Ian

[/ QUOTE ]

quote++

Splendour · #7 12-04-2006, 11:58 PM

You might want to take up meditation...what meditation does it allows you to reset your mind into a more peaceful rejuvenated state...It will never totally take the disappointment away from a loss or bad beat but it can help diminish the lenghth and intensity of that disappointment...

At the same time you have to remember this key thing about poker...Poker is about making the correct decision all the time no matter the outcome...You can play perfectly and still lose...what you need to do is key into your own play...As long as you played as perfectly as possible then you can be satisfied with the session...Of course if you're worried about the bottom profit line then you'd have to review a whole host of variables to see if you have them correct...like game selection, playing level, bankroll management, etc.

ZenMusician · #8 12-01-2006, 05:02 PM

While I like bernie's answer a lot, we all need
to remember something:

Unless your income is solely or largely derived
from poker, it would be helpful to reduce poker
to what it is...a game.

I am super-competitive (just try and beat me at
Connect Four), but there has to be some mental
"switch" that allows you to turn off the aggro part
of you out of battle.

Watch boxers or MMA fighters beat the living hell
out of each other...and then embrace afterward!

It's important to you. It's a journey of knowledge and
experience. It's a way to make money via a hobby.

But it is...a game

GL

-ZEN

neverforgetlol · #9 12-01-2006, 05:15 PM

i have this problem too. i just don't like losing money (duh). then i get people in chat who say "ty" win they suckout on me and it drives me over the edge.

notreallymyname · #10 12-01-2006, 05:50 PM

Becoming depressed from your own bad play isn't going to improve it either. Certainly you should try to determine whether you played the hands correctly or not for your ongoing development, but the emotional response is going to make matters worse either way.

I've not been playing long nor unusually successfully so my opinion may not be worth but, but I found that originally when I started losing, I usually continued losing until I stopped playing, got lucky or ended up on tilt. What helped me is a thought that I haven't seen anywhere: that poker should be treated momentarily in most respects. Now if I lose 100 BB (blinds, I play NL) in a session, I treat it as bygones and always keep my focus on my total bankroll when making decisions and can continue to win back 150 BB. Letting your past losses/wins, hands, cards and opponents affect your play other than through analysis of them cannot be beneficial.