survived 5/10 NL vs the blob! (trip report w/ pics)

[BowToYourSensei]

admittedly this is quite long, but most of it is mspaint, so that makes up for it...

anyway, about a week ago i got ip banned, and with no 2+2 to browse while online pokering i decided not to play online, and instead focused my attention on school, god of war II and drinking. i woke up at 7 on friday morning for some reason and played GOW2. i got tired of it after a while, and grabbed 2k to play some live 5/10 NL. many of you don't know what i look like, i should probably share this...behold:



this is a picture of me on a bridge on a family vacation:



anyway, i was minding my own business playing at the table when all of the sudden i heard this inhuman growl, and this hideously large old woman enters. she was holding a crutch and wearing those "blind old people" glasses that most blind old people tend to wear. her nipples were poking through the shirt and looked horrifying; they were oblong and discolored. but since descriptions can only get you so far, here's a pic of what she looked like:



she also left a trail of goo past where she walked. many postulated as to what it could be, but i knew the truth: menstraul fluid.

she was very loud and negative to all players during her play. makes sense really. then action folded to me on the button as i looked at JJ. i raised to 35. sb folds, she calls in the bb.

Flop: TT4, with 2 clubs. i bet 60, she calls.
Turn: 2h. i bet 100, she raises to 200, i re-raise to 400, she calls
river: Qc. i check, she checks. I flip JJ, she flips QJo for the win.

she babbled about how although she misread me, she must have done something right cuz she was raking the chips. i wanted to crush her. she immediately after the hand gets up to take a dinner break.



now i can only imagine what a dinner with God's Mistake must be like, but i envision it would be something like this:



she came back and i sat at the table with about 1500. once again i was on the button and action folded to me. i have AKo, i again raise to 35, sb folds and she calls.

Flop: A65. all hearts. i have the Kh. i lead for 70. she calls
turn: Ad. i lead for 200. she calls.
river: Ks. i shrewdly check. she bets 500. i tank, then shove. she calls immediately and gleefully shows her 6s full. i jump in the air and throw my cards up, they land on the table in front of me as i yell out "YOU LOSE! ACES FULL!"



she growled again angrily and demanded to know how i could play like that. i told her "now we're even." she had no idea what i was talking about.

"do you even know who i am?!"

"the long lost daughter of jabba the hut?"

she then demanded a table change.



she then came after me...big mistake...it ended badly





very badly.

but seriously, she moved to table 5.

final results:
5 hours
+$1,320
+846 experience points

[TheDaubfather]

VNH Sir

[illini43]

Nice

[Scottery]

This is quality.

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[Zaghomat]

A+

[chief_]

this is such an amazing post on so many levels

i play tons of fighting games for one, so i really enjoyed the 25 hits, very nice man

kudos for the inclusion of exp as well

<3 <3 <3

[ImsaKidd]

Another 5/10 story:

PokerStars GAME #7469740355: HOLD'EM NO LIMIT ($5/$10) - 2006/12/16 - 15:19:51 (ET)
Table 'Peneleos' 6-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 4: Dalmations ($597 in chips)
Seat 5: Lukieplaya ($4614 in chips)
Seat 6: gambler2k4 ($995 in chips)
Lukieplaya: posts small blind $5
gambler2k4: posts big blind $10
__2cb__: sits out
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Lukieplaya [4d As]
Dalmations: folds
Lukieplaya: raises $30 to $40
gambler2k4: raises $100 to $140
Longhorne joins the table at seat #2
Lukieplaya: raises $4474 to $4614 and is all-in
gambler2k4: calls $855 and is all-in
*** FLOP *** [8h 2d 3h]
*** TURN *** [8h 2d 3h] [6d]
*** RIVER *** [8h 2d 3h 6d] [2h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Lukieplaya: shows [4d As] (a pair of Deuces)
gambler2k4: mucks hand
Lukieplaya collected $1989 from pot

[EmpireMaker2]

I stopped after the first picture

this is very embarassing

[BowToYourSensei]

[ QUOTE ]
I stopped after the first picture

[/ QUOTE ]

probably cuz i didn't have any pics of guys in bathrobes looking seductively at your camera.

[Jiggymike]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I stopped after the first picture

[/ QUOTE ]

probably cuz i didn't have any pics of guys in bathrobes looking seductively at your camera.

[/ QUOTE ]

Em2 = smoked. NH Op.

Also tl;dr but I'm sure it was great.