Issues with Parents

[ArcticKnight]

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As for more constructive advice, once you have your [censored] together and don't live at home any more, I'm almost certain your relationship with your parents will improve over time. Don't write them off entirely the second you're out of their house. I'm guessing it will be nice to see them on holidays and talk to them once a month or whatever, once you have some space.

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Good advice.

OP, I've been on both sides of this. I went through it with my folks when I was 19, and I am now 47 and my son is 23, so I went through it with him..

Here are some things to think about.

1. Your parents probably think they are trying to instil some values and responsibility into you, but you see them as going over the top. That's fine, if we heard their side of the story they'd probably say they only nag you cause you don't listen, your lazy, don't appreciate things, etc.

The point is you are both right and both wrong and it really doesn't matter. Every poster who said it's time for your to grow up and move out is right. That may not mean you are immature, but if you move out on your own (or share an apartment with your buddies), your attitude about bills, expenses, totally taking care of yourself will change.

Staying at home will do nothing but further compound the relationship with your parents.

2. As other posters said, don't write your parents off. They are trying to do what's best. Keep in contact and slowly the relationship will change. It may not be on the timeframe that you or they like, but it will work out.

Eventually you will see that they were 80% right, and you will write the other 20% off as them trying, or just their quirky characteristics.

At any rate, it's time to move out.

PS. My son and I didn't agree on anything bwteen his ages of 17 to 20, and now we are fine, better than I could ever imagined. In short, he grew up, and on my side, I realized I could have handled a few things differently.

It will come around for you and your old man. Be patient.

[DarkForceRising]

You owe it to the forum to find out what the hell your dad does for a living.

After you get that out of the way, how about joining the military? Teach your parents a lesson by getting sent to Iraq or Afghanistan.

They will wish they had treated you better when they get word of your death or dismemberment. Plus you will enjoy the status of hero and victim.

[Golden_Rhino]

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You owe it to the forum to find out what the hell your dad does for a living.

After you get that out of the way, how about joining the military? Teach your parents a lesson by getting sent to Iraq or Afghanistan.

They will wish they had treated you better when they get word of your death or dismemberment. Plus you will enjoy the status of hero and victim.

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OP,

Is this you?

[SmileyEH]

If you were working 70hr weeks, living rent free (some food free?) how have you not saved up at least 10k to move halfway across the country and start over?

[frad]

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If I were your parents I'd kick you out of the house so fast your head would spin. You are owed NOTHING! You are a pathetic waste of goo. Sucks to be you, Loser!

BB

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LOL

[JokersAttack]

You're lazy, and in a similar situation to me.

Stop bitching and take control of your life. Your parents don't consider poker a job, so don't try to convince them. Just keep working, put money away, and save up enough to move out and give yourself an opportunity to become independent.

If it doesn't work, so be it, I'm sure they'll let you back. But please stop bitching about your parents not supporting your slovenly attitude

[heater]

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If I get my life together, move out and support myself, I really think I've made up my mind, I don't want to see or talk to my parents ever again. But every time I run this through my mind I feel guilty.

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That's because you're [censored] wrong. You sound like you're sixteen. Guess what? Most parents don't want their 22 year old "adult" kids living in their home. Based on your OP, I don't think you're capable of empathy in this situation, but you really need to try to see this from your parent's point of view.

[censored] grow up.

[Moozh]

You need to get your feelings across to your parents. They won't like it, but it has to be done.

Extremely serious advice: print out what you wrote down, put a note on it explaining that you wrote it to some friends. Give it to your parents to read. That way you can have your full say without them having the chance to interrupt you.

Second, giving them the note won't make things 'happier'. Plan on moving out and living on your own. You're 22, it's time to do that anyway. Your life needs to be seperate from your parents. You have a job now, get an apartment and go from there. Welcome to life.

[Hollywade]

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If I get my life together, move out and support myself, I really think I've made up my mind, I don't want to see or talk to my parents ever again.

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It's unfortunate that you feel that way. Hopefully you will change your mind about that someday. For what it's worth, I have found in my adult years that I get along much better with my parents when I'm not living with them. Having a buffer zone, independence, and freedom take some of the strain off the relationship in my opinion.

['Chair]

OP, go back to college and get a real job.