help me OOT: I like my friend's gf and don't know how to deal with it

[foobar37]

I met this guy a while back and became really good friends with him. I eventually became friends with his gf as well (they were already dating when I first met him). Through circumstances beyond my control, I ended up spending a decent chunk of time alone with the girl (obviously a mistake), and she confided some things in me, including problems she was having with her guy. At one point I thought there was a very good chance they would break up, and I realized I wanted to ask her out if they did so (I don't care that it's against the rules). They ended up staying together, but I was stuck with the knowledge that I liked her (I had somehow lied to myself about it until then).

I don't know why exactly, but I told the guy about my feelings (I'd like to believe it's because I'm a loyal friend, but I don't know if that's true). He then told the girl, despite my asking him not to. So now all three of us know, and it's super awkward. WTF do I do? Be a man and deal with it, remaining friends with both of them? Stay away from both of them and move on with my life? Still be friends with the guy but stay away from the girl?

Sorry, no pics because too many people who know us read 2+2 (but none of them know my nick).

[luckyjimm]

SIIHP?

[Blarg]

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WTF do I do?

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Take it as a lesson. Don't tell people things you wish kept private. And don't set yourself up to get into it with your friends' girls.

FWIW, it's not unusual for women to confess relationship problems to guys, real or made up/exaggerated. It gets attention, with or without a bit of erotic spice involved. It might eventually be worked into a way to get their bf's attention, too, probably at a cost to you. There are all kinds of reasons to blab personal stuff like this, with or without sexual intent. This is not the last time you will see it. Deal with it better next time.

P.S.: How would you feel if you were the BF and some other guy was listening in about your private stuff, even if he wasn't the one soliciting the spilling of the beans? Would you feel he was very loyal or considerate or smart?

And THEN, how would you feel if he said he's got a thing for your girl after letting himself get into the goings-on in your private relationship. WTF. You handled this like a kid in junior high or something.

[RoundersQuote]

You're making a run at it aren't you?

[esad]

I belive the word you're looking for is ménage à trois

[Blarg]

Maybe he's the Johnny Chan of pussy. So patient ... just watch ... he's all in!

[El Diablo]

RQ,

Bravo.

[goodsamaritan]

KKF

[Mr. Philosophy]

For him to tell her your feelings after you requested he didn't I have to say he isn't that good a friend. A good friend would have honored your request. Therefore I say end the friendship.

With regards to the girl you have to decide if you really want to pursue her or not. I would say let her go, but if you are madly in love then you obviously won't do that.

[StaticShock]

[ QUOTE ]
I belive the word you're looking for is ménage à trois



[/ QUOTE ]

She's... INTO IT!