Pregnant GF

[4_2_it]

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A) Stay and change my entire life, and hate myself for giving everything up for something I didnt want in the first place.
B) Run away and hate myself for being a coward the rest of my life

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You really need to find a C option that presents a situation where both you and her have the opportunity to be happy.

One other thing, your girl is most likely going to go through some nasty mood swings while pregnant. My advice is that after you both make a major decision, sleep on it and reconfirm in the morning.

One final thing. Be there for her right now. She is under way more stress than you right now.

Good luck bro.....

[Shadowrun]

a girl told once told me if this happens to her i should push her down the stairs (for some reason she doesnt want to get an abortion, but is okay with pushing her down the stairs to cause a misbirth- even though the end result is the same, go figure)

[uberoval]

After my first marriage ended, the first girl i dated i knocked up accidentally (duh). Then she tells me she already had 1 abortion and would have another because she definately wasn't "mature" enough to raise a child. At that time I was like "yee haw" lets git-r done or whatever.
So fast-forward $350 later. I still regret that abortion even though i knew i was too immature myself to deal with the responsibility of being a dad at 23 or 24 or whatever age i was. Some guys don't regret it (abortion), i thought i would too as well, but i still think about it even now. That abortion was the kiss of death for that relationship which was fine, but i do regret that decision 12 years later.

[nation]

Post deleted by nation

[Homer]

I'm disgusted by much of the advice in this thread. Anyone who runs in this situation is not a man and is a worthless human being (and dare I say, more "white trash" than her family could ever be). It's one thing to want her to have an abortion, but when she decides to have the kid you have to deal with it and start taking the steps to care for it. Being concerned that the child could be affected by drinking during the first trimester is reasonable. She should see a doctor if she hasn't yet.

[samjjones]

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She drank/smoked during the first trimester.

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Wow. Don't have kids please.

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uhh...they didnt know she was pregnant genius.

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Aren't you banned from posting in OOT?

[kyleb]

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She drank/smoked during the first trimester.

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Wow. Don't have kids please.

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uhh...they didnt know she was pregnant genius.

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Aren't you banned from posting in OOT?

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Yeeeah.

[HolyFimFed]

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After my first marriage ended, the first girl i dated i knocked up accidentally (duh). Then she tells me she already had 1 abortion and would have another because she definately wasn't "mature" enough to raise a child. At that time I was like "yee haw" lets git-r done or whatever.
So fast-forward $350 later. I still regret that abortion even though i knew i was too immature myself to deal with the responsibility of being a dad at 23 or 24 or whatever age i was. Some guys don't regret it (abortion), i thought i would too as well, but i still think about it even now. That abortion was the kiss of death for that relationship which was fine, but i do regret that decision 12 years later.

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What were your beliefs concerning abortion before/after it happened? Where do your regrets stem from? I am concerned about hidden guilt/regret/etc that will show its face in the future... but my entire life I have had absolutely 0 problem with the idea of abortion... I'm not sure how I'll be effected

[samjjones]

We are convening an emergency meeting in the Mod forum to discuss this blatant disregard for OOT policies and procedures. Stay tuned for exciting updates!

[Matt R.]

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adoption?

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impossible
if she has this baby she will not give it up
ever
ever

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Uhh, yet she was thinking about aborting it? Giving up the baby for adoption is far and away the best option. This is regardless of your beliefs on the morality of abortion, because you said yourself that she will likely become depressed if she aborts.

I think if you tell her "you should give the baby up for adoption because we aren't ready to care for it yet", and she flat out says "No, I'm keeping it or aborting it", then this is grounds for leaving her with a clear conscience.

FWIW, I was adopted (biological parents had me when they were like 14 and 15 or something), and I am pretty damn glad they made that choice. I never understand how there is any dilemma in the type of situation you describe, as the correct answer is pretty clear cut in my opinion.