Pregnant GF

[deadbody]

I felt all the same feelings you did when I found out my GF was pregnant. There was so much I hadn't done that I wanted to, then I looked at my son for the first time, and I realized that there is nothing better than spending time with your kids.

It's a confusing time, my GF got pregnant when we were both 18, we got married, and it's been very good for the last almost 9 years. IF you want to talk more privately I'll be more than willing to chat either on Yahoo messenger, PM's here, or I'll give you my phone number.

Your concerns are valid, but understand that you helped bring a child into this world, wether you planned to or not, and now you will have a responsibility to that child. Not just a financial responsibility, but a responsibility to love, and help care for, and set a good example for, and be a dad to. Whatever you decide, focus your energy into making sure your kid has the best life possible, do not let things get acrimonious with your GF (if you break up with her) and make sure your kid knows that he/she is #1 in your life.

Your GF is really emotional right now, and it wsounds like her family has gotten her to decide to have/keep the baby. Have you guys considered an adoption idea, where a family member/friend adopts the baby, so she can finish school, a family friend of mine did that (open adoption so she can see the kid, the kid thinks she is it's aunt) and was very happy with the decision.

[HolyFimFed]

[ QUOTE ]
"I don't want to have kids either"
is right up there with

"The mercedes is paid for"
"I won't come in your mouth"
"I'm with the government and I'm here to help"

Honestly though, you sound a bit douchish -- and this smacks of cosmic justice.

[/ QUOTE ]

-I- sound a bit douchish?
sorry to offend
lol

[Jeff311420]

Get a real job with insurance and get married, so the mother of your child can get proper medical, you need to grow up fast. Especially if she's already 9 weeks. Until she has an abortion, you have to prepare as if its coming.

[jackdaniels]

If you DON'T want to b a father and she WON'T get an abortion - you are pretty much screwed.

Sell the house, collect all your worldly possessions and LEAVE TOWN. Move to a place where she will not find you, change your name if you have to.

This is the best I could come up with on such short notice. I hope it helps.

[Meech]

[ QUOTE ]

-I- sound a bit douchish?
sorry to offend
lol

[/ QUOTE ]

Perhaps a squeech.

You have two choices.

Stay and have a kid.
Bail on her.

Not much in-between. I could detail all the shoulda, coulda, woulda stuff -- but I'm sure you've already gone over it.

[HolyFimFed]

[ QUOTE ]
I felt all the same feelings you did when I found out my GF was pregnant. There was so much I hadn't done that I wanted to, then I looked at my son for the first time, and I realized that there is nothing better than spending time with your kids.

It's a confusing time, my GF got pregnant when we were both 18, we got married, and it's been very good for the last almost 9 years. IF you want to talk more privately I'll be more than willing to chat either on Yahoo messenger, PM's here, or I'll give you my phone number.

Your concerns are valid, but understand that you helped bring a child into this world, wether you planned to or not, and now you will have a responsibility to that child. Not just a financial responsibility, but a responsibility to love, and help care for, and set a good example for, and be a dad to. Whatever you decide, focus your energy into making sure your kid has the best life possible, do not let things get acrimonious with your GF (if you break up with her) and make sure your kid knows that he/she is #1 in your life.

Your GF is really emotional right now, and it wsounds like her family has gotten her to decide to have/keep the baby. Have you guys considered an adoption idea, where a family member/friend adopts the baby, so she can finish school, a family friend of mine did that (open adoption so she can see the kid, the kid thinks she is it's aunt) and was very happy with the decision.

[/ QUOTE ]

Most parents who offer their opinions say the same kind of thing. The child is the best thing that could ever happen to them, etc etc.

Honestly, the way I look at it, the fetus is not yet a child. It has the potential to become one if we decide to take the opportunity, but it is not a person yet. This does not need to be our only opportunity.

I truly believe that if this happened 3-5 years in the future - the child, my gf, and myself would all be happier, more fulfilled, and ready to become a family. Having a child now could very easily tear it all apart.


I have heard a lot of "This is your child, it is your responsibility to love/support/etc" this past week. My problem though, is that I still do not see it as a child. I see it as an opportunity that I do not yet want to take.

After the birth of a baby, I 100% agree that I am responsible for keeping it happy and healthy. But I want my child to have every opportunity possible when I bring him/her into this world. The risk of a broken household, a lifetime in a [censored]-hole town, and hell, the risk of fetal alcohol syndrome - these are not things I want to gamble on.

I wish I felt such an obligation as most people seem to. It would make this decision much easier. But in my mind, having this child would be a massive mistake.


Thanks for your input, and if the child is born, I hope I feel the same way as you a year from now. Until then, I am terrified.

[HolyFimFed]

[ QUOTE ]
Get a real job with insurance and get married, so the mother of your child can get proper medical, you need to grow up fast. Especially if she's already 9 weeks. Until she has an abortion, you have to prepare as if its coming.

[/ QUOTE ]
You're going to give me a [censored] heart attack

[4_2_it]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If you need help with baby names:

Rachel
Katie
Michael
Joseph

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate you
at least it made me laugh though [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, at least you still have some sense of perspective. Well, if she isn't up for an abortion then you are a father. You will have a financial burden for the next 20 years or longer.

Here are a few things to think about:

1) Do you want to spend your life with this girl?
2) If not, then how involved do you want to be with the upbringing of your kid?

Now is the time to stop freaking out and make some life decisions. They will not get an easier once the baby arrives.

[HolyFimFed]

[ QUOTE ]
1) Do you want to spend your life with this girl?

[/ QUOTE ]
Completely undecided.
2 weeks ago my answer would have been about 90% yes.
Today I cant even estimate. I can already feel a lot of resentment boiling up due to the rest of my life being decided by her. I have not made any big decisions based on this, and will definitely need more time before I know.
Basically, if she decides to keep the baby, my choices are
A) Stay and change my entire life, and hate myself for giving everything up for something I didnt want in the first place.
B) Run away and hate myself for being a coward the rest of my life

Obviously not an easy decision to make

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2) If not, then how involved do you want to be with the upbringing of your kid?

[/ QUOTE ]
100% reliant on the answer to question 1

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Well, if she isn't up for an abortion then you are a father.

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She isnt completely closed off to the idea of an abortion right now. But she definitely is leaning toward keeping it. I'm sure she is more torn about the decision than I am.

[ QUOTE ]
Now is the time to stop freaking out and make some life decisions. They will not get an easier once the baby arrives.

[/ QUOTE ]
A-[censored]-men

[TripSearching]

The clock is ticking so if she is going to get an abortion she better do it soon. It also sounds like all you guys did was have her take a piss test. Get her to a gyno, my gf and I had a scare but she went to the gyno and it was some wierd estrogen thing that caused her to miss her period and get a positive reading and she wasn't actually pregnant.

Now it is my belief that you can not push your girlfriend to have an abortion. You can tell her that is your preference and lay out the reasons why it is best but I do not think you can make her get one just because you do not want to be a father. You need to be an adult right now and have a serious heart to heart with her again about how you are feeling.

And if this doesn't work and she still wants to have the baby, you can always punch her in the stomach a few times...