The Missing Trip Report

[MERCER]

I bumped the original thread more than anybody until it was locked.
Still waiting for the ending and the post vegas story.
Thanks
Grando [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[MT A CLIP]

quality

[sethypooh21]

Seeing this thread bumped with no Grando-eliquence involved angers me. Revenge may ensue. But probably not. Srs bizness here.

[buckslayer80]

WTF? Still no updates. No matter how good it was it's not worth checking and bumping a thread for 6 months.

[monkeymaps]

one last time bump

[whiffer1983]

yo gf is a bitch

[grando]

k let's gogogogo! sorry for the wait - this [censored] takes so long to do, and I'm a lazy, lazy man...

-----

So before we ditch this hole we get another of those big-ass yards. She gets a Long Island Iced Tea again and I get a Rye and Coke (rye = whiskey = whisky for you yokels out there if you didn't get it the first time). I don't even remember what it cost - 717 nickels or something. I'm sure this was top-notch booze too. Instead of the Hep C shot commercials you see on TV for the Carribean they should have them for Vegas north of the Wynn.

On our way out this girl wearing a wedding dress (yes a [censored] wedding dress in Slots 'O Fun - like seriously who does that? "yeah I'm gonna drive my Dart from Virginia to Vegas giving handjobs for gas along the way to get married by some Elvis douche like my daddy did and play casino war at [censored] 'O Fun with a $2 match play coupon on a cum stained table that Stevie Wonder wouldn't even sit at to make enough money to pay for the bus to get to the El Cortez to earn enough cash to pay for the license that my high school boyfriend who sells meth to my 11 year old brother and hot knifes off a campfire stove in his parents' trailer while beating off to Leanne Rimes during his days off from working at the bus station because he doesn't even have his GED can't pay for because his baby's momma who he also sells meth to but somehow passed her GED is blackmailing him due to his love for black [censored] and we all know that doesn't fly in the south". Whoa. Anyways, she hits on me and pisses off my g/f. She probably saw my Bullet velcro shoes and thought dollar signs. Get outta here bitch I'm busto. All over your face - BAM.

Anyhoo, I have no idea how we even got all the way out here - I'm looking at a map right now and this is like Circus Circus turf. I do remember all these pharmacies, tourist shops, and poverty cause we had to get some gravol for the missus and keychains. Yeah, that's what people want from Vegas - a keychain. "Here T-God here's a keychain" - "wow thanks grando this is way better than going out to Vegas - this doesn't rub it in at all that you got to see hot naked girls and gamble for a week while I sat at home while my g/f does Sudoku". Yep, brilliant.

So we're making our way back down the west side of the Strip (the old Westward Ho/Stardust way) and we pass either the Stardust or the Frontier Hotel ("cold beer loose women" and all that jazz). On our right is a big, dark patch of nothing for like 4 minutes. The stabbing/robbery quotient on this part of the Strip is probably 8 billion e^2 or something like that. I mean this is ghetto ghetto.

So we're walking and actually having a cordial talk about curtains or whatever, and these 2 people come out of nowhere. [OMG RACIST BAN]The only reason I mention they were black is because of the high crime rate that's associ...oh wait I didn't say they were black, whew[/JESSE JACKSON]. Anyways, this couple was verbally tossing F-bombs and whatnot back at each other - the girl moreso because she's a chick LDO. So they walk by, but my g/f was fixated on them - she did a total 180 when they passed. Obviously they notice, but keep walking. She's still looking at them (I don't know whether she's just drunk or what the [censored]):

G/F (to the couple): What the [censored]!
Me: ...
Guy: 'Scuse me?
G/F: Don't yell at her like that
Me (semi-quietly to her): What the hell are you doing?!?
Guy: What?
Girl: What the [censored] bitch?!?
G/F: Treat her with some respect
(at this point they're about 10 feet away)
Me (big yellow puddle under my feet): [censored] shut up
G/F (to me): I can say whatever the [censored] I want
Me (stepping in between her and them so something retarded doesn't happen): Man I'm sorry - she's drunk. (to her): Get the [censored] going.
Girl: [inaudible swearing]
Guy: Get the [censored] outta here
G/F (to me): [censored] you
Me: Just shut the [censored] up and walk

So I push her away and we get to TI as quick as we can. I'm a combination of pissed off and scared shitless. This guy was like 6'5/300, and although my psycho g/f is pretty hardcore, I don't think she's finishing off Queen Latifah. What am I going to do? Signal left and go right? "Can't you read? Call the police!". I throw the rest of my drink at some fence cause I need to let off steam. She's still pissed off at me, which makes me even madder. I save you (read: me) from an ass kicking and you're mad at me - I know, how about you get mad at me for paying your way out here because it demeans women when you buy them gifts COME ON! I don't know how this lasted the year and a half - oh wait, yes I do...

[scene missing]

So we finally get to Treasure Island - man I have to take a piss. Luckily my g/f has somewhat cooled down by now. That doesn't sound like her. I get a new drink from god-knows-where ("where's that music coming from? and all the liquor? it's Vegas Marge - it doesn't have to make sense") and we make our way back to civilization. By civilization of course I mean the haven for prostitution, gambling, excessive drug use, and alcoholism, with the odd Mexican.

Next up: more fighting, minorities, and perhaps a guest appearance!

[Micro Donk]

first

[bazooka87]

Love the Simpsons references, looking forward to reading the next part in 2010

[apefish]

This has to be a tarp.