Bizarre injuries you've suffered

[suzzer99]

Here's my buddy after too many Yager Bombs. He woke up in the front yard like this and somehow drove himself to the hospital. No one's quite sure what happened.

[Glo]

In 7th grade, during vball practice I collided with another player, took a hard elbow to the ribs, then fell flat on my ass bruising my tailbone (maybe more, but I doubt it). For a couple weeks it hurt to breath, laugh, sit, walk, cough, etc.

When I was 4 (parents love telling me this story), I took a pair of plastic kiddie bonoculars and looked thru the wrong end. I apparently ran full speed into our front door. Learned a lesson that day, "when looking thru the wrong end of bonoculars whilst running, things REALLY are closer than they appear".

Another story about the beloved colon.

My friend went 3 wheeling a long time ago. The driver lost control of the RV, crashed and somehow she had a tree branch go up her butt. After multiple surgeries, she's fine and loves talking about her bowel movements.

[OMGuraBOT]

When I was 12 I was dunking on a lowered basketball rim. I came down from a dunk, the net caught on my two front (permanent) teeth and ripped them out of my mouth. I was rushed to a dentist where he shoved them back into my mouth. After a few root canals they were back to normal.

[x2ski]

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Was trying to cut an orange with a butter knife when I was 6 or so and put the knife through my hand.

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Um, what?

[x2ski]

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Was trying to cut an orange with a butter knife when I was 6 or so and put the knife through my hand.

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Same-ish age, uncle getting married, I was the ring-bearer or something, and along with the groomsmen received my own initial-engraved pocketknife as a gift. Immediately I opened it and destroyed my thumb. Still have the scar today.

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Yeah but he's talking about a butter knife.

I still don't get that. Aren't they like the dullest knife ever with no point or anything? Am I thinking of a different knife that I use on my butter?

A butter knife is pretty much a shorter dinner knife, amirite?

[miajag]

This is the closest thing to it I could find online. Yeah, I guess it's relatively dull compared to most knives, but it still had a pointy tip.

[drexah]

skateboarding. kickflip off a kicker ramp. sack. 2 or 3 stitches. all balls fine.

when i was like 13 or 14, more embarassing than painful, i guess sacks arent very good at healing cuts so i got stitches.

[x2ski]

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This is the closest thing to it I could find online. Yeah, I guess it's relatively dull compared to most knives, but it still had a pointy tip.



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Wow, you could carry that thing for protection! If a cop frisks you, it's just a butter knife, right?

My butter knives are rounded, 'cause I have no need to stab my butter.

[pokergrader]

I had just made bacon and was about to pour the grease down the sink when my roommate told me that way bad for the pipes. Being the smart person I am, I decided to pour the sizzling hot grease into a disposable plastic bowl.

The grease ate through the bowl like it was wet toilet paper and just falls all over my leg. Needless to say it sizzled my leg for a good 10 seconds before I was able to start cooling it down with water. Burned the [censored] out of my leg and I still have discoloration on my calf from where it ended up. I couldn't walk normally or wear pants for a long time because it hurt my skin so much.

Luckily for me I had just gotten my first aid training and knew how to properly handle burns, otherwise I'm sure it would have been worse.

[Xaston]

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When I was in grade school I went to a daytime computer camp at Framingham State College. A pencil rolled off my desk and I snapped my legs together to catch it in my lap, except I was too slow so I just drove the pencil about 2" into my inner thigh.

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I dropped a pencil in the third grade while taking the CATs. I instinctively tried to grab it, it hit the chair eraser side down, and I ended up slamming the "webbing" between my thumb and pointer finger into the tip. The pencil stuck in and I yelled and ran to the nurse. You can still clearly see the color of the graphite under my skin.

I shot myself in the face with my potato gun, luckily the potato missed and I just got pressurized air; resulted in a black eye.