email from guy- need a good response

[Artdogg]

We posted an ad recently on craigslist for a new roommate. We aren't going to take this guy, so naturally we just want the best possible response to maximize the hilarity. Help us out guys!

[ QUOTE ]
Hello, I'm very interested in the room an I am availible to see the room tonight if possible. Below you will find info about me.

Name: xxx
Age: xxx
Occupation: xxx
Education: xxx

I'm laid back. Very clean and respectful.

What I look for...
I just ask that any roommates be respectful of my things. While I will share food if asked, I do not tolerate people eating or drinking my stuff (had problems with that at my last place). I would prefer if roomates were not homosexual.

Please call me or email me at your earliest convenience. Thanks!

XXX

[/ QUOTE ]

[MissChriss]

How about: Sorry but we're all homosexuals?

[Chaos_ult]

Or just reply with:

[Blarg]

"None of us are gay, unless you count being on top gay. We were hoping you would be the gay one.

Sorry; we don't need another butch.

[bwana devil]

invite him over to look at the place. hit on him. trip report to BBV4L.

[RickAstleyFan]

Tell him you aren't gay, but you do have a very large gay porn collection, but it's only because you think gay porn will be valuable when they outlaw being gay.

[slaytanic]

[ QUOTE ]
invite him over to look at the place. hit on him. trip report to BBV4L.

[/ QUOTE ]

[AntonHeat]

LOL

[El_Hombre_Grande]

Dear Blowhard:

Its good that you are respectful and clean. We had to kick the [censored] out of our last roommate because he wasn't.

You sound perfect. We don't tolerate anybody eating or drinking anybody's [censored], either. Just be warned that if you do, your ass will get severely kicked.

And that good that you don't go for the gay stuff, cause neither do we. We all got drunk and some stuff happened, and it got all weird. Now we don't drink as much, or, when we do get drunk, no one is allowed to dress provocatively.
If you do, you get your ass kicked.

We can't put up with the gay stuff, so your ass could get beat for that, too, but it sounds like you are going to be fine with that.

Anyways, bring your share of the first months rent. You sound great !!!

[oddjob]

we're not gay, but we are willing to learn