The Obligatory Tunica Trip Report.

[Anacardo]

GuyIncognito and I rode out from Atlanta last Thursday night, met up with RunDownHouse on Friday, and d10 arrived Saturday for a WSOP circuit event. We stayed comped at the Hollywood, one of the less baller establishments in a highly un-baller region, but we ate free, drank free and stayed free, which ain't too shabby.

I myself have not a great deal to tell - random B&M stuff re: slowly moving chips around in 10/20 O8, annihilating the Horseshoe 20/40 (the biggest regular game in Tunica!), a big pot in NL 2/5 and pissing some of it back away at blackjack.

Story-worthy incidents include:

1) Some of you are under the impression that I am fairly intelligent. Permit me to correct that impression by pointing out this: I got this Tunica thing together b/c it was on the same weekend as a big fencing tournament in Memphis, a few miles to the north. So you can imagine my surprise and consternation when I got to the convention center in downtown Memphis Friday morning to be told that I'd come several hundred miles to show up for an event on the wrong weekend. A week early. Like, who DOES that? I must have overlooked the right dates eight times.

2) Enjoying free liquor in the Hollywood lounge Friday night, RDH, GI and I hung out at this deserted bar watching football, with nobody in sight but this sketchy drifter dude who introduced himself as Scarface or Face. He claimed to pick cotton for a living, and showed me his paycheck stub to prove he wasn't lying, without the slightest suggestion of suspicion on my part. He told long rambling stories, ran snacks and drinks for us, and spent a long time working up the courage to ask us to reload him for the money he'd blown on blackjack. When he escorted RDH to the mens' room, we feared the worst, but he apparently emerged unscathed. Shortly thereafter we made our exit and never saw him again.

3) Beware random old seersucker-suited Southern [censored] with booze-deformed noses and their wives in tow. This Kenny Rogers lookin' cat and his missus sat down to play some O/8, a game which neither really appeared to understand, their strategy consisting of calling down to every river and flipping their cards up to ask the dealer what they had. Anyway, Boozer-nose ends up slowrolling the Indio-Pakistani guy in Seat One, who angrily tells him to 'show his [censored] cards!' Boozer-nose, enraged, shoots up and tells him that 'if he uses those kinds of words in front of his wife he will POP him in the NOSE!,' and makes a move at him. Lots of "hey, hey, HEY!"-s and converging floormen ensue. Eventually the whole thing's broken up, the happy couple drops their buyin and moves on.

4) The talent in Tunica County - severely disapponting. 'Cocktail waitresses' that could be my grandmother. I hit on our steakhouse waitress for a while and left her my number. She apparently came out a little while later to the nearby lounge, looking around, but by that time I had already taken d10 up to our room to drop off his stuff, whereupon I laid down and passed out, being sleepy and kinda drunk. My game is best described as 'unfocused.' GI apparently got backed off by a gaggle of bachelorettes, but that's his own story to tell.

Summary: Meh + mad moniez = good enough for me.

[d10]

Looks like I missed most of the fun. What are the plans for next weekend, are you going back again?

[Anacardo]

LOL, hell no. Now I have to spend the entire month grinding as many hands as possible and getting ready to move. Thanks, Frist!

[RunDownHouse]

I honestly thought 'Face needed to use the bathroom at the same time as I did. He just kept up this constant chatter, and only trailed off as I was unzipping my pants before asking me if I was "all right." When I said that, uh, yeah, I was just fine, he left, and I did not go back to the lounge.

Dinner on Saturday was at the Hollywood steakhouse. Nothing special, ala carte type menu with steaks $25-35, sides $5, that type of thing. Typical nice Tunica steakhouse. When it came time for the bill, we dutifully handed our credit cards to the waitress and told her to pick one. Of course I lost, and I'm pretty sure the, "[censored]!" that came out of my mouth wasn't a mutter but maybe closer to a shout.

Cardo actually rallied from his pass-out and played some blackjack with me, and I spent the entire time trying to get him to hit on this 40-year old blonde next to him that would throw her arms in the air and shriek every time the dealer busted. I'm pretty sure that I was pretty sure she was into him, but damned if I can remember why.

[Brice]

The cocktail waitresses in Tuinca are the suck. Grand is the only place with decent ones. There is usually some talent in playing at the casino though.

[Anacardo]

There is usually some talent in playing at the casino though.

Maybe a little. I spotted one sweet little number playing 2/5 PLO; excellent thong / knit cap combo. Sadly, I have learned to recognize the intriguing vibe I got off her as a near-perfect tell of dangerous insanity.