UB desperate?

[TheMuppet]

I am by no means a high roller, nor do I play a lot of poker in general.

Also its been like 1½ years since I've had the UB client running, and even longer since I've had any cash on that site. I played less than 10K hands there lifetime.

Nevertheless I get a call on my cell, and some crappy e-mail with a lot of crappy bonus offers.

So what do you think? UB desperate for customers or what?

The e-mail:
- With your next deposit of $100 or more you will receive:

- 5% unrestricted cash (capped at $100) or $10 cash which ever is greater!

- 30% added to your pending bonus account! (capped at $500)

- One entry to the $2000 Guaranteed Rebuy at 1200 EST.



- With your next deposit of $400 or more you will receive:

- 5% unrestricted cash (capped at $100) or $10 cash which ever is greater!

- 30% added to your pending bonus account! (capped at $500)

- One entry to the $2000 Guaranteed Rebuy at 1200 EST.

- One seat to the $3500 Guaranteed Tournament at 1600 EST.



- With your next deposit of $750 or more you will receive:

- 5% unrestricted cash (capped at $100) or $10 cash which ever is greater!

- 30% added to your pending bonus account! (capped at $500)

- One entry to the $2000 Guaranteed Rebuy at 1200 EST.

- One free guest seat to our $25,000 Bounty Tournament at 2001 EST.



- With your next deposit of $1,000 or more you will receive:

- 5% unrestricted cash (capped at $100) or $10 cash which ever is greater!

- 30% added to your pending bonus account! (capped at $500)

- One entry to the $2000 Guaranteed Rebuy at 1200 EST.

- One free guest seat to our $200k Guaranteed Tournament 1700 EST.



- With your next deposit of $2,500 or more you will receive:

- 5% unrestricted cash (capped at $100) or $10 cash which ever is greater!

- 30% added to your pending bonus account! (capped at $500)

- One entry to the $2000 Guaranteed Rebuy at 1200 EST.

- One free guest seat to our $200k Guaranteed Tournament 1700 EST

- One free seat into our $25,000 Bounty Tournament at 2001 EST.



This is a one time offer only. Good for one deposit. Your deposit must be made within 7 days of this offer.



IMPORTANT: This is a personal offer. You need to reply to this email after you make your deposit in order to receive your bonuses and set up tourneys – or if you have any questions.