I've heard of "Ace up your sleeve" but "Ace in your cleavage"?!?!

[NUTZ IN YA MOUTH]

So I'm playing some NL in Vegas last night. Good game, playing some pretty high limits, having a few White Russians, you know how it is. Having fun.

Anyway, at about 10:30 at our table sits a "pro" - Jennifer Tilly. (And I use the term pro very loosely. If any of you have seen Poker Superstars II you know what I'm talking about - she got steamrolled).

Apparently a few guys at our table felt the same way because as soon as she sat down everyone at my end of the table was cracking jokes about what an awful player she is. (Although, I will say those ta-ta's had me DROOLING - can you believe this lady is 40?)

From the outset, Jennifer Tilly was DOMINATING the table. Steamrolling. And every time someone would call her to keep her honest, she turned up a complete MONSTER. It was UNREAL. Phil Laak showed up about 45 minutes later and was all "OHHHHH JENNIFER!!!" then he started rolling on the floor in an apparent faux seizure.

A while later, after Jennifer had increased her buyin TENFOLD (not exaggerating), I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Jennifer was had reached in between her massive breasts and had pulled out a playing card, put it on the table, took one card out of her hand, and put that one back in her shirt. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"FLOOR!!! FLOOR!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I explained to the floor man what was going on. Jennifer flipped out, said that I've been seeing things because I've had too much to drink.

The floor guy said to keep playing while he reviewed tape. And told NOBODY to move. After fifteen tense moments he returned and asked Jennifer to reach in between her breasts and pull anything out. At first, she was apprehensive, then she did it - and pulled out the Queen of Spades, Queen of Diamonds, and Seven of Hearts.

Everyone at the table was in shock, Jennifer started crying while I sat there with a smug grin on my face. Phil Laak came over and acted surprised as Jennifer was escorted out by casino security, but I've got a hunch that he was in on it.

As a complete capper, the casino comped me $20 in meal points. The hot wings are on me.

[HotWok]

Umm. Did I miss something? You cannot be serious.

[hasugopher]

for some reason, I don't think this actually happened.

[MasterLJ]

You forgot to mention the part about having dinner with Jesus.

[HotWok]

[ QUOTE ]
You forgot to mention the part about having dinner with Jesus.

[/ QUOTE ]

lmao.

[Tonding]

She's 50!

[im a model]

lame. just like all your other dumb troll posts. you actually type these out instead of doing something more productive like doing backward somersaults while peeing on your own face. and you went through the trouble of making your account just to post dumb crap like this. lamelamelamelamealemaleemlamemealmeelalamelemaleml amelaemlemalemalmeaemalemalmealmelmaelame

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
She's 50!

[/ QUOTE ]


I would.

[The Worm]

How are you not banned yet.

First, you stole all the chips off a table and ran out of a casino.

Then you played Dannenman on the hood of your car in AC.

Then you played at the Commerce with Screech.

Then you beat chip jett at the Venetian.


Seriously, do you think people believe these posts you take an hour to create. STFU and GTFO. Ban.

[CalledDownLight]

Did you take all her chips and run out of the casino while she was talking to the floor?