Someone please help me

[private joker]

I agree with everything Evan said about what El Diablo said.

[katyseagull]

I intend to respond to this later. I'm trying not to be late for work.

[katyseagull]

I would like to move beyond this. I'm tired of second guessing myself and entertaining the suggestion that I was even remotely to blame for any of this weird [censored].


Here's my assessment and it's a good one.


JJN's sending a PM to me that read "Katy likes Anal" following my rejection of his advances is completely inappropriate. It’s inappropriate for any poster to send that kind of weird crap to anyone, whether a guy or a girl or a mod. And given that JJN and I had been casual forum friends, politely discussing recipes and TV sitcoms in the past, and had recently discussed a thread on menus... one can see how I might be mildly creeped out by what I perceived as a series of 4 hostile PMs from someone I thought I was on a friendly basis with.

Also, he wrote something else to me that was sexually suggestive immediately following my PM where I rejected his advances. So, frankly, I have determined his comments were flat out inappropriate and he needs to knock it the [censored] off and stay away from me. Ryan has taken care of that and the matter should end here.


I’ve been around on the site for almost 2 years now and have only one other time received a hostile PM before. It’s not like I am running around scared all the time or I wouldn’t even be logging on to this site. The reason I love this place is because of the many intelligent, kind posters and the different forums that are offered. I've never found the forums to be scary but I do find that one individual sending me creepy PMs is a little unsettling.

I don’t know why you guys think this is standard on these forums because from my perspective this is not standard at all. It is very unacceptable in my book. I made the mistake of posting in this forum asking “hey, please tell me if I’m overreacting to this weird guy. Am I overreacting and how would you advise me?”

I did not ask to be a mod in case you didn't know. I woke up one day and I was a mod. I decided hell, for a few days I'll give it a shot. That's my personality. If my boss asks me to do something, I do it. If Mat asks me to just try it out then that's what I'm going to do and I’m going to give it my very best and I believe that Mat knows that about me.

My purpose on the forums is to enjoy exchanging ideas through text and learning about poker and movies and far away places and dogs, and trying to make 2+2 welcoming to others who want to engage in the same manner. To that end the Lounge has been a great place to hang out. I've received some very positive feedback about the lounge. It’s beyond me why you would suggest I stop being an active participant.


I wish you all the best with your forum El Diablo as I've seen it grow and become very cool. I think you guys have done an awesome job with it.


I have now given you a LOT of text here to start picking apart and quoting.

I know, I know - tl;dr [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[Dids]

"I don’t know why you guys think this is standard on these forums because from my perspective this is not standard at all"

You have run well at the internet. For nearly every female poster I know on the various message boards I read/have read what you experienced is a weekly thing. One girl shared her account information with somefolks, and the PMs there were fantastically horrible/gross/pathetic.

"hey, please tell me if I’m overreacting to this weird guy. Am I overreacting and how would you advise me?"

That's not how your message sounded. There's a difference between what's above and "please help".

[El Diablo]

katy,

"It’s beyond me why you would suggest I stop being an active participant."

This is why:

"3 PMs that I'm afraid to open."

"I was freaked out"

"I'm afraid he will track me down and murder me."

You also said.

"the suggestion that I was even remotely to blame for any of this weird [censored]."

Of course you are not to blame and of course it is wrong. However, the more active you get in a forum like this, the more you should expect to receive messages like that. I have received multiple sick messages wishing all sorts of harm on me. I am positive those messages would have really freaked you out. I'll see if I have any stored, for the most part I just laugh and delete. My friend Clarkmeister received many messages that were even worse. I actually talked to one guy who had been a semi-regular poster here to ask what compelled him to post his venomous tirade against Clark. His response "but when i saw how little and blond and puny and stupid and cocky and smug he was in person, i just wanted to crack his head open and piss on his brain"

Your posts here made it sound like you would be really troubled by some guy writing you with all sort of crazy, violent, sexual stuff. And that's a perfectly natural reaction. However, I think you need to be aware of the fact that the more active you become in these forums, the higher the chance receiving messages like that is. That's an unfortunate part of anonymous forums, and an especially unfortunate part of being female on such forums. Add on top of that a forum that has an unusually high percentage of socially maladjusted young men.

Coincidentally, this topic is currently perhaps the most active discussion going on in the blog world.

http://headrush.typepad.com/creating...ype_this_.html