Problem with husband of friend - need advice please

[DMC0627]

I am a single middle aged divorced woman who has been friends with a married couple for almost 2 years. I hang out with both of them together, or go out with her alone to movies, shopping, etc. Last night, I called and her husband, Steve, answered the phone. He said, hey, we are having wine and got a movie, want to come over.

I went, she wasn't there, he said she ran out to get some stuff and would be back soon. I had a glass of wine, and then he came up behind me and started rubbing my back. I immediately thought, WTF?

I tried to make a joke of it, like save that for your wife, she'll be right back. He leaned in and kissed my neck and replied, "no, she won't, she is away overnight". WTF again. I said, ok, I am tired anyway, I am gonna just leave. I figured he had starting drinking way before me and was drunk and would never act this way if he wasn't.

Then, he got very aggressive, blocked the door, etc. I was of course, freaked out, and he grabbed my arm so hard I actually have a bruise there today. I ended up kneeing him in his balls, and leaving. 2 years of friendship and he pulls this? I was upset all night, couldn't sleep.

Today, my phone rings and its him. I assume he is gonna apologize, and that he is mortified about his behavior and will chalk it up to having too much to drink. His call basically consisted of "if you tell my wife, she will never believe you". I told him that I was considering telling her either way. Then, he told me if I said anything, I would be "extremely sorry".

What to do here? I feel some obligation to tell her, whether she believes me or not. Gotta admit though, I think she will believe him, he is her husband after all. He said he is going to tell her that I knew she was out of town and came over and made a pass at him if I say anything. Bottom line, I am kind of afraid of him, I didn't like the sound of "extremely sorry". He sounded pretty dead serious.

Just now, she left a message for me to call back to see if I want to get together. I don't know what to do. Then, it occurred to me that you guys give pretty good advice. Help needed please.

[skunkworks]

I would bake her a cake. On top of the cake I would write in frosting "btw ur husband tried to rape me lolz"

Sometimes a little sugar coating is all that's needed. GL.

[niss]

O/U is 7 posts before "Steve" makes an appearance in this thread.

[bisonbison]

Did you call him from your cell? From a landline? Did he call you back on a cell?

It's much easier if you can show her a record of the two calls and the bruise right away .

Also, record any further calls.

[Brad1970]

File a police report against him.

[SixT4]

[ QUOTE ]
File a police report against him.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yah, let the police know he has threatened you etc. and then tell the wife.

[Cry Me A River]

This is almost certainly not the first time he has done something like this. Men don't just wake up one day and become predators.

If you do not file a police report, he will do this again to someone else. Next time she may not be able to get away.

[Nilzor]

[ QUOTE ]
This is almost certainly not the first time he has done something like this. Men don't just wake up one day and become predators.

If you do not file a police report, he will do this again to someone else. Next time she may not be able to get away.

[/ QUOTE ]

...and he won't do that if she files a police report? Honestly, I don't think invloving the law here solves anything. There is no evidence.

[quirkasaurus]

[ QUOTE ]
File a police report against him.

[/ QUOTE ]

... and get photos of the bruise.
... document the phone records.
... investigate plausbility of assault conviction.
... go from there.

[traz]

tell the wife, knee him in the balls twice if you ever see him again