Almost in a bar fight and called a Racist!

Fishwhenican · #1 07-16-2007, 05:08 PM

My wife was bartending Saturday night at our local small town Montana bar so I went in to town to have a few cold beers and enjoy some of the time we have for the next two and a half weeks without kids.

Well, about 10:00pm or so this guy walks in and from the moment he hit the door is a rude a-hole. Just rubbing people the wrong way and trying to be a big man hotshot. He was immediatly rude to my wife while he was first ordering drinks and I talked to him a little while later while he was up at the bar about being nice to her and that she was my wife. I was real nice about it and all but I could stll tell he was going to be an a-hole all night.

Fast forward to about 1:00am. The rude guy has ordered a pizza and was eating it. My wife had gotten him napkins and cheese and all that stuff they put out for people who get a pizza. She finally gets a moment to sit down by me Still behind the bar) and rest her feet. She is the only one working on this night and it has been very very busy. This guy rudely asks for more napkins. He already has a pile of napkins and has touched the top one once. My wife tells him that he has some and if he needs more they are right in front of him (they are just over the edge of the bartop and would have taken all of a second to get some. It also would not have been unusual for someone to help themselves in the bar either, at all) He starts in on her telling her she has a bad attitude and that she is a racist! (the guy is a Native American, Cheyenne) If he wasn't Indian should wouldn't be treating him that way. She had been pretty nice to him up until this point considering that he had been rude and disrespectful all night long towards her and to other in the bar as well. She had about had enough of his mouth and basically told him if he didn't like the service he got here to go down the road. (there is another bar just about a 100 yards away or so). He starts in on her about her being a racist and it is a "White bar" and just being a real a-hole.

Well, I had enough of him insulting my wife so I step up and told him, "Hey, this has nothing to do with RACE. It has to do with you being an A-Hole". He shifts his attention to me and the guy sitting next to me and starts calling us racist's and he wouldn't ever get treated that way if he was white and I di a pretty good gob of keeping my cool and trying to explain to this retard that it still has nothing to do with race. For gosh sake the bar right then was about 3/4 filled with Indians many of whom I am pretty good friends with.

It heated up a little more and I was beginning to think this was going to get ugly real quick when thank goodness my wife jumps in and tells the guy he has two choices, get out or she calls the cops! He still wants to rant and rave about it being a "White Bar" and doesn't want to leave. About 4 of us now tell him it has NOTHING TO DO WITH RACE! IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING AN A-HOLE!

Finally one of his friends convinces him it really is time to go after my wife has told him to go three times and finally called 911. Cops show up about a minute after he finally leaves and asks who was kicked out. He goes back outside and the idiot is still hanging around. Cop starts talking to him and eventually he is getting handcuffed and taken to jail. Guess he said the wrong thing to the sheriff's deputy.

I guess I don't totally know what my point is but it really bothers me a bit that this thing got dragged into a "Race" issue. I know everyone has some degree of racism in them, we can't help it. But, I have always tried to judge people on who they are and how they behave rather than what color they are. This guy was the one being the racist here and the saddest part of it is that he will never see it that way. He will only see it as the "White Man" not treating him correctly and that we are to blame for all his and his peoples problems. It does nothing to make anything better for him, his people or anyone else for that matter and it is just plain sad.

LonesomeFugitive · #2 07-16-2007, 05:13 PM

Beat: The guy will go back to his tent and put a curse on you.

Blarg · #3 07-16-2007, 05:43 PM

Yeah, this kind of stuff is sad. What's sadder is when guys multiply the grudge by hanging out with friends who don't tell them to STFU or just set them straight when they start spouting off like that. What's saddest of all is when these guys pass it on to their own kids or even hassle little kids they think are the "wrong" color.

Grew up with this and spent a lot of my adult life in situations full of this kind of thing, and all it ever did for anyone was make their lives uglier and stupider. It's like a disease you infect yourself with voluntarily.

Fishwhenican · #4 07-16-2007, 06:54 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, this kind of stuff is sad. What's sadder is when guys multiply the grudge by hanging out with friends who don't tell them to STFU or just set them straight when they start spouting off like that. What's saddest of all is when these guys pass it on to their own kids or even hassle little kids they think are the "wrong" color.

Grew up with this and spent a lot of my adult life in situations full of this kind of thing, and all it ever did for anyone was make their lives uglier and stupider. It's like a disease you infect yourself with voluntarily.

[/ QUOTE ]

Really really true Blarg.

We have had to deal with this in the past with our kids out here. We had then in a school that was 95% Native American students and most of the time it was fine but there were times when they were harassed by some of the NA kids for being white. We actually ended up moving them to a different school, not completely because of that but it was a part of the reason. I hated the idea at first but it has turned out well.

As an update: I guess this guy actually wanted to apologize to my wife today. He came into the bank where she works days and she basically wanted nothing to do with him. She doesn't want to mix the two jobs for one. She was pretty adamant about not accepting any kind of apology from him. I told her that maybe it was a better idea to just tell him that what he did really hurt her and it would be a long time before she gets over being insulted in public like that. Something to try and at least not just downright reject the guys apology but still make it known that this is serious thing and maybe he should think twice about being a dick and spouting out garbage like that. I told her that maybe it wouldn't make any difference but maybe just maybe it might help to change something if she at least leaves a window open for his apology.

Probably overly optimistic of me but I would rather at least have a chance of things being better than just continuing the hate and bad feelings.

Duke · #5 07-16-2007, 06:54 PM

I think the proper play would be to say: "Race? I didn't realize that you were black."

Blarg · #6 07-16-2007, 06:58 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I think the proper play would be to say: "Race? I didn't realize that you were black."

[/ QUOTE ]

"No, no, no, no ... it's not because you're Indian. We just thought you were gay!"

rothko · #7 07-16-2007, 07:09 PM

yeah, this kind of stuff is really annoying/frustrating. when i was grading papers in university i had similar troubles. there were a few non-white students that plagiarized their papers, so i gave them Fs, obv. they started crying racism and i was like, "for [censored]'s sake, zero percent work equals zero percent grade. cheaters can be whiter than hospital linens and they'll still get zero."

at the end of the year when they did the teacher evaluations one comment that got sent in and came back to me was: "reader is a racist bigot against ______ people."

um, no.

Fishwhenican · #8 07-16-2007, 07:33 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I think the proper play would be to say: "Race? I didn't realize that you were black."

[/ QUOTE ]

"No, no, no, no ... it's not because you're Indian. We just thought you were gay!"

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL, Funny. Maybe THAT would have pissed him off enough to swing at me.

roaaahhh · #9 07-16-2007, 10:10 PM

god this makes me want pizza so badly

youtalkfunny · #10 07-16-2007, 11:56 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Cop starts talking to him and eventually he is getting handcuffed and taken to jail. Guess he said the wrong thing to the racist sheriff's deputy.

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My thoughts:

--Don't call 911 to get a rude/drunk/mental case removed from a bar. 911 is for emergencies.

--If the guy goes that far out of his way to find your wife and apologize, you respect that, and accept his apology. Or maybe the racist shoe fits your wife, ever think of that? (I don't know if it does or not, but I was startled to hear about her exaggerated reaction to his apology.)