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Old 11-23-2007, 09:30 AM
schundler schundler is offline
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Default Edfurlong: Man or Myth? (a feature article on EdFurlong and 2p2)

Edfurlong: Man or Myth? A feature on one of 2p2's most Prolific posters
by schundler


Or little girl? This is the question every user on the popular forums at the site, twoplustwo.com has asked themselves over the past two years of EdFurlong posting.

Furlong, who takes his name from the child actor who played "Danny" in American History X, is an enigmatic and bitter poster. Though he declined to be interviewed for this piece, he did have this to say: "I hope you get tazered in your big fat face [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] "

"He really is very mysterious," said poster EricW. "I'm not gay, but I find that very sexy."

There are other mysterious posters on 2p2. Assani Fisher, for instance, has started a countdown at the end of each one of his forum posts. Some have speculated that he is a homosexual.

Edfurlong is known as a trendsetter within the TwoPlusTwo community. Recently, after noticing Furlong often instructing forum users that his posts were merely his opinion, many other 2p2 posters began inserting the simple, yet powerful acronym, "imo" in their posts. "I think it's a very good idea, if you ask me," said poster Whosisthadrizzle, who is reportedly Scientologist Tom Cruise. After informing Drizzle that I did, in fact, ask him, Drizzle conceded that it was merely his opinion.

When asked about his involvement in the imo trend, Edfurlong shouted, "I DIDN'T DO IT. YOU CAN'T PROVE IT WAS ME!" and threw an apple core at my head.

Nevertheless, Edfurlong is an important part of the 2p2 community.

TwoPlusTwo is owned by Mason Malmuth and David Sklansky. Sklanksy, who is ten feet tall and immortal, said he could explain the EdFurlong phenomenon. "It falls under my Fundamental Theorem of EdFurlong," said the seventy foot tall Sklansky. When asked what that meant, Sklansky replied, "It means he's a jonesin' lunatic." Sklansky, who stands as high as a 200-foot Redwood, then walked off with a cohort of 18-year-old models from "blackbuttsRus.com".

BBV poster and 2p2 Consumer Advocate ebepse, also known as SPB, said "this whole Edfurlong thing" is likely to be a scame. "Scame!" he said. Conspire agreed, at which point Golden-Rhino posted that tinfoil picture for like the thirtieth time.

Some posters, even moderators, are douchebags. "Oh, I've been a douchebag for 7, maybe 8 years now," said OOT moderator NT!. Other moderators, like Dids, are jolly.

"The 2p2 community could not survive without EdFurlong," said 2p2 intellectual Anacardo. "It's as if, not to the last previous poster, but instead by way of the inherent perpetual transmission, which however does accelerate deceptively hastily on some of the sub-forums, but indeed is consistent with the underlying peripatetic motion of the leftmost quadrant of 2p2 posts on the indispensable, but partially irrelevant-only to posts before 2006- scale of 2p2 salience, Edfurlong posts occupy a unique position of relevance and sardonic wittiness, of his cynical and angry ideas, to the 2p2 public. Now, there are two schools of thought-" At this point I struck him and left the scene.

Some 2p2ers, like Fast Food Knight and divides_by_zero, are hot. Hi dbz. Some look like Drew Carey.

But, whether you are hot, a douchebag, 800-feet tall and "twice as smart as that nerd, Stephen Hawking", gay, really hot like FFK, hi ffk, we can all relate to EdFurlong and his love for Gilmore Girls. "I'm about to masturbate to Rory now," said Furlong. "Yeah, usually I get in there and just let it all out, two or three times a week, to Rory." Rory Gilmore is played by actress Alexis Bledel. "You have to switch it up though, because Lauren Graham needs some lovin', too," said Furlong.

Surprised by his newfound openness, I began to ask Furlong a few more questions, about his childhood, and his relationship to the 2p2 community. "They are mostly homogays," he said, and threatened my life.
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  #2  
Old 11-23-2007, 09:31 AM
prodonkey prodonkey is offline
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Default Re: Edfurlong: Man or Myth? (a feature article on EdFurlong and 2p2)

in before everyone else
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  #3  
Old 11-23-2007, 09:34 AM
Animus Animus is offline
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Default Re: Edfurlong: Man or Myth? (a feature article on EdFurlong and 2p2)

Excellent reporting.
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  #4  
Old 11-23-2007, 09:36 AM
Spechel EDD Spechel EDD is offline
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Default Re: Edfurlong: Man or Myth? (a feature article on EdFurlong and 2p2)

am i in this cause i dont plan on reading if im not
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  #5  
Old 11-23-2007, 09:36 AM
diebitter diebitter is offline
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Default Re: Edfurlong: Man or Myth? (a feature article on EdFurlong and 2p2)

WHERE THE [censored] IS MY QUOTE?

'READING ED IS BETTER THAN BEING TORTURED, MOSTLY'. IF YOU FORGOT.
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  #6  
Old 11-23-2007, 09:55 AM
pokerclack pokerclack is offline
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Default Re: Edfurlong: Man or Myth? (a feature article on EdFurlong and 2p2)

Really good reporting, wow.
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  #7  
Old 11-23-2007, 11:33 AM
its_just_me its_just_me is offline
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Default Re: Edfurlong: Man or Myth? (a feature article on EdFurlong and 2p2)

i begin to understand imo
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  #8  
Old 11-23-2007, 12:11 PM
divides_by_zero divides_by_zero is offline
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Default Re: Edfurlong: Man or Myth? (a feature article on EdFurlong and 2p2)

A++ imo afaik

Also, hi back atcha [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img].
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  #9  
Old 11-23-2007, 12:46 PM
Georgia Avenue Georgia Avenue is offline
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Default Re: Edfurlong: Man or Myth? (a feature article on EdFurlong and 2p2)

This article is false because I also am not in it.
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  #10  
Old 11-23-2007, 12:56 PM
Droogie Droogie is offline
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Default Re: Edfurlong: Man or Myth? (a feature article on EdFurlong and 2p2)

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