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#1
01-12-2007, 02:03 PM
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How do I confront my Brother?
So this is something that has been going on for a while now and it is really starting to bother me. My brother is 26 and works and has a gf and is fairly responsible. He also is going to school full time and doing pretty good there too. My problem is that he seems to be forgeting about the rest of the family. I live in San Diego and he is in Kentucky so its not like i can just go over to his house, not that anyone actually knows where that is, and ask him WTF? A little background, he used to suffer from depression, probably still does to some extent since it runs in the family. I know he was heavy into drugs for a while, weed, cocaine, and i dont think anything else really but not sure. His gf has a kid, not that it is a problem since only I know that, but I do believe that she is a terrible influence on him. They have been dating for 5 years or so now and my parents have never even met her, not exactly normal and its not like she live across the country.
So what on earth is my problem? The fact that he never answers his phone or is around when ever someone is trying to get a hold of him. While i was home over the holiday, I saw him two times, Christmas day and New Years day. I was home for two weeks. The last time he called me was about 4 months ago and it was because he was needing money. I know something is going on with him but I dont know what. We used to be very close but these past two years or so have been weird. My Dad and Grandparents still live very close by, yet he never ever visits or just calls to say hello. I dont even think he took the time to call our Dad on his b-day, which was yesterday. I just dont know what to do, and as the older brother, I feel like its part of my responsibilty to say something. If I thought he would do it, I'd tell him to move out to SD with me, but I dont know if he would or not. So OOT, any ideas cause I am stumped at the moment. ~Rich 
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#4
01-12-2007, 02:29 PM
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Re: How do I confront my Brother?
OP,
Maybe he doesn't like you and your family very much.
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#7
01-12-2007, 02:36 PM
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Re: How do I confront my Brother?
[ QUOTE ]
OP, Maybe he doesn't like you and your family very much. [/ QUOTE ] Interesting. I know him and my Mom have been at odds before, but that is mainly because she pushes getting an education so much. She gets onto me about getting my masters degree all the time, same with my brother getting his undergrad degree. I do find this a bit hard to believe since my parents have always helped him out, but who knows for sure.
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#8
01-12-2007, 02:46 PM
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Re: How do I confront my Brother?
[ QUOTE ]
1. maybe your bro is young and stupid and thus doesnt appreciate family till they are dead? 2. maybe he is busy with his own family and issues? [/ QUOTE ] 1. I really hope not, but too often this is the case. 2. I hope not here too, but the way he has been acting, i almost wouldnt doubt it. BTW, his gf's kid is not his and she is closer to my age, 32, from what i understand, no one really knows for sure.
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#9
01-12-2007, 02:55 PM
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Re: How do I confront my Brother?
He isn't doing anything wrong, he's just not living up to your expectations. All you can do is tell him how you feel, how his actions make you feel and then wait. Maybe he changes, maybe he doesn't, then you cast some judgements and move on.
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#10
01-12-2007, 03:06 PM
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Re: How do I confront my Brother?
OP - seems like you're overreacting to your brother's decision to live his own life. He's 26. He's supposed to be self-centered at that age. As I have gotten older I've realized that I have very little in common with my siblings.
So you should either relax and let him do his own thing or you should move to KY or wherever he is and begin stalking him relentlessly. You could maybe even get some freaky tattoos and start stalking his gf and having dirty discussions about Henry Miller books like this guy: 
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