Child Raising - Discipline issues

[miajag]

I only recall actually being hit a couple times, but the threat was made a lot and definitely helped keep me in line. Stuff like my mom giving me the silent treatment for a couple days when she was really mad at me was soooo much worse than any physical punishment I ever got. I don't think there's anything at all wrong with spanking, it's a fine way to control behavior without emotionally or physically scarring the child.

[Golden_Rhino]

I'm 33 and I used to get hit with the wooden spoon by my mom. It wouldn't be a savage beating; just a quick swat to the butt. My dad only hit me once, and he kinda lost control, so he never did it again.

I don't have kids, but I assume that I will spank them when I do have them.

[MissT74]

I think we need to stick with the OP's original thoughts/ideas about spanking vs. outright abuse. There's a HUGE difference and if you can't see that then you were never spanked at all growing up, imo.

T

[istewart]

[adios]

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I'm 33 and I used to get hit with the wooden spoon by my mom. It wouldn't be a savage beating; just a quick swat to the butt. My dad only hit me once, and he kinda lost control, so he never did it again.

I don't have kids, but I assume that I will spank them when I do have them.

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Yeah if you can delay discipline until you're not as angry it's much better. It can also be effective in that the child knows you're going to discipline them and they have to think about what you're going to do and perhaps (hopefully) think that it would be easier to follow the rules next time.

[RunDownHouse]

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he learns that he's not supposed to do that. But now he sees his younger sister do the same thing. Can you really blame him if he smacks her?

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I get what you're saying, and maybe I am wrong. LIke I said, I don't have kids - that I know of! - and I really think this is one of those things where your mindset can change drastically once your situation changes.

That being said, I think kids are smart enough to know right from wrong- that value set may have to be instilled, but once it is, they can make judgments based upon it - and they can eventually learn who the arbiters of justice are. When you're 5, your parents are judge, jury, and executioner. Your example of a brother hitting his sister isn't really applicable because normal people know they aren't in charge of discipline, their parents are.

I guess I should just say that I don't think your example of "kid makes mistake, parent disciplines, sister makes some mistake, kid punishes" is in the least accurate. You ask, "Can you blame him," and my answer is, "Yes, [censored], he's not an idiot, he's not a dog, and should recognize the various reasons that discipline is not his to administer and judgment not his to render."

When you say, "In my opinion, it is very difficult to use corporal punishment to deter kids from misbehaving without giving them the idea that it's okay to hit others who make them upset," are you saying this from the standpoint of a parent? Obviously it's anecdotal, but just as obviously there are tons of kids who both got spanked as discipline and turned out fine.