Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9

[SoloAJ]

Haha, no play for Mr. Gray!

Seriously though, I'm glad to hear what you're saying. In some ways it makes me feel like I'm ahead of the curve. I'm sure there are plenty of ways that I'm not, but it's nice to hear that the things I respect and appreciate are things that many of you didn't necessarily enjoy as much as you would now with you had. I don't know.

I think it's fascinating what you say about how your life is more about other people now. That is the type of thing that I wish I could say was absolutely true with me, but I don't think it is right now if I'm being honest. I bend over backwards and sometimes get taken advantage of trying to help and care for others. But, in reality, except for the closest people, I think it would be erroneous of me to say that I always "put others first." Certainly something I hope to improve on in the future (that and the general concept of being nice instead of mocking sometimes).

Tired rant over.

[Myrtle]

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You sound like a sad & lonely person with a chip on your shoulder.

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? Who me or Kilgore?

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Kilgore

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Care to share with us the reason you feel this way?

Don't take my question above as a challenge, as I'm not looking to get into a beef with you about it, but I take away the opposite sentiments from his post, and I'd really like to hear why you feel as you do.

I'll be 61 soon, and every day I seem to encounter more instances that support the old saying.....

.....Youth is wasted on the young.

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Bitterness and regret are wasted on the old.

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Did you ever think that what you see as "bitterness & regret" in my post might not be that at all?

Trying to explain this is somewhat like expecting someone who is proficient in algebra to fully understand quantum physics without the training.

Let me try to be a bit more clear.......

The more that I have learned as I've made my way through this world, it has become clearer to me that the less I know.

Acknowledging reality and the disappointments that come with it is not bitterness.....It is clarity.

What one does with that clarity is an entirely different story.

One of the true sorrow in life is NOT learning from one's mistakes, as we are bound to continue to repeat them.

I have learned at least one great lesson, courtesy of my wonderful wife......

...Life is about making memories.

Think about it....then talk to me.

[Myrtle]

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Haha, no play for Mr. Gray!

Seriously though, I'm glad to hear what you're saying. In some ways it makes me feel like I'm ahead of the curve. I'm sure there are plenty of ways that I'm not, but it's nice to hear that the things I respect and appreciate are things that many of you didn't necessarily enjoy as much as you would now with you had. I don't know.

I think it's fascinating what you say about how your life is more about other people now. That is the type of thing that I wish I could say was absolutely true with me, but I don't think it is right now if I'm being honest. I bend over backwards and sometimes get taken advantage of trying to help and care for others. But, in reality, except for the closest people, I think it would be erroneous of me to say that I always "put others first." Certainly something I hope to improve on in the future (that and the general concept of being nice instead of mocking sometimes).

Tired rant over.

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I'll throw my 2 cents in here.....

I think what fish is saying is that as he grows older that he realizes how important it is in life to have more consideration for others than for oneself.

When we're young, most of us are full of piss & vinegar, and can't get out of the blocks fast enough to make our way in the "new" world.

We readily engage in whatever 'rat-race' that happens to be in our reality, because that is our only perspective.

Hey...it is what it is, but it don't make it right!

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[Myrtle]

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Well to me his post has a certain 'I don't like my life' tone to it. If I had to read between the lines, I'd say he seems tired of the rat race but still thinks he's smarter than everybody else at work since he has this high powered career. In turn, his co workers probably think he's a condescending prick. I'd bet he also can't enjoy a vacation since he can't be far away from a laptop, cell phone, blackberry, etc due to work obligations...that's why he got some degree of enjoyment out of raking leaves & watching birds feed. Obviously, he's real close to his family!!! In the end he'll just go buy a Porsche so he'll feel better. But that's just my 2 cents.

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wtf is this crap? Someone posts a thoughtful, interesting post about life lessons and you go looking "between the lines" to find some perceived personality flaws?

Take that [censored] to OOT. I would hope that in the Lounge there would be more engaging with the substance of the post and less BS-psychonanalysis to ad hominem the poster.

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In case you can't read, two different people asked me to expand on how I interpreted his post. So I did.

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Brad,

You were bound to get an inflammatory response or two, as (quite frankly) there is a ton of assumption and value judgement in your writing here.

FWIW, that's not a problem with me, which is why I asked you to clarify.

Now....IMO, here's the real issue:

What are you going to do with the feedback that you've gotten in this string?

If you dig your heels in and simply defend your position, you have learned nothing from the exchange, and you're the worse off for it.

If you read what others have written and ASK them to explain more of why they think the way that they do, you have a shot at expanding your universe.

It's your choice....

You may think my statement above to be arrogant......so be it if you do.

[Fishwhenican]

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Haha, no play for Mr. Gray!


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I hope you had a good laugh with that. What happened to that whole respect your elders thing! Damn Kids. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Solo, I have not doubt you are "ahead of the curve" with a lot of things. One thing I guess I would add would be that I think it is OK to be young and do things that young people do, like party and be a bit wild. Some of that is part of being young and only needing to really answer to yourself. Ya, a person may have to answer to mom and dad, I am talking about a wife or kids to answer to.

I guess that is what I am talking about too as far as others before me as I got older. I am really talking about other people I am responsible for. I used to only have to answer to me if I screwed up. Now it effects my family (wife and kids). Here is an example. I got into a bit of trouble a few years ago. Nothing big or really horrible but it meant that the sherrif had to come to my house and ask me to come down to the station to talk. I remember the look in my boys eyes after I got home. He was 8 at the time and really frightened. Later, I had to promise him that I would never ever do anything to make him worry like that again. I want to clairfy this this was a hunting thing and it was really just the fish cops I was in trouble with, not real cops. It was also over something I didn't even do myself but got sucked into a friends mess.

Anyway, that is really what I mean but putting others first. Kids need shoes so they get new shoes and I do not get something I want and would have bought if the kids didn't need shoes. That sort of thing.

I do also care more about other in general as well but that really wasn't what I was getting at. I have always cared about my fellow man and all of that but it wasn't really what I was shooting for.

[Brad1970]

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Well to me his post has a certain 'I don't like my life' tone to it. If I had to read between the lines, I'd say he seems tired of the rat race but still thinks he's smarter than everybody else at work since he has this high powered career. In turn, his co workers probably think he's a condescending prick. I'd bet he also can't enjoy a vacation since he can't be far away from a laptop, cell phone, blackberry, etc due to work obligations...that's why he got some degree of enjoyment out of raking leaves & watching birds feed. Obviously, he's real close to his family!!! In the end he'll just go buy a Porsche so he'll feel better. But that's just my 2 cents.

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wtf is this crap? Someone posts a thoughtful, interesting post about life lessons and you go looking "between the lines" to find some perceived personality flaws?

Take that [censored] to OOT. I would hope that in the Lounge there would be more engaging with the substance of the post and less BS-psychonanalysis to ad hominem the poster.

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In case you can't read, two different people asked me to expand on how I interpreted his post. So I did.

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Brad,

You were bound to get an inflammatory response or two, as (quite frankly) there is a ton of assumption and value judgement in your writing here.

FWIW, that's not a problem with me, which is why I asked you to clarify.

Now....IMO, here's the real issue:

What are you going to do with the feedback that you've gotten in this string?

If you dig your heels in and simply defend your position, you have learned nothing from the exchange, and you're the worse off for it.

If you read what others have written and ASK them to explain more of why they think the way that they do, you have a shot at expanding your universe.

It's your choice....

You may think my statement above to be arrogant......so be it if you do.

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The OP posted something & I gave a one line opinion...my opinion...and you & Katie both ask me why. So I elaborated. Now you & a couple others pulled out your self righteous soapbox & climbed up on it. I simply expressed my opinion on KT's post. Opinion are like excuses, everybody's got one.

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You may think my statement above to be arrogant....

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NOOOOOOOOO Really?

[KilgoreTrout]

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Well to me his post has a certain 'I don't like my life' tone to it. If I had to read between the lines, I'd say he seems tired of the rat race but still thinks he's smarter than everybody else at work since he has this high powered career. In turn, his co workers probably think he's a condescending prick. I'd bet he also can't enjoy a vacation since he can't be far away from a laptop, cell phone, blackberry, etc due to work obligations...that's why he got some degree of enjoyment out of raking leaves & watching birds feed. Obviously, he's real close to his family!!! In the end he'll just go buy a Porsche so he'll feel better. But that's just my 2 cents.




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Yikes,

Didn't think I'd strike such a nerve here. Grunching, but Brad, you couldn't be more wrong about how I approach my job. I'm engaged while I'm here, but the second I leave I'm able to switch it off.

Re: family, I do have a chip on the shoulder about that, but my siblings have large families of their own now and that's their priority. Perhaps I didn't state it well enough, but I'm okay with this. I enjoy seeing them when I do, but I just don't expect them to give a hoot about my own endeavors. It's not a big deal, it's just how it is.

I'm very close with my wife's family, far moreso than my own. We hang out just about every other week. Her dad and I go shooting or do projects around the house or smoke some cigars. Her brother just joined the Boston police force, so he, too likes to join us at the gun club and for lunch afterward. I just think it's curious that I'm closer with them (they live 50 miles away) than I am to my own family (who live closer).

I'll read through the other replies before adding more.

[KilgoreTrout]

Okay, made it through the thread.

"The back 9" to me signifies a milestone in my life. It's neither good nor bad, as I haven't even teed the ball up on number 10 yet, to continue with the analogy. In using the term, I'm recognizing that a part of my life is over, change is afoot, and I feel ready to embrace it. That's really what my OP was about.

The cliche that age is just a number has some truth in it, but birthdays are occasions to reflect and to readjust the ole perspective. That's what I've been working on. The Big Questions are interesting me now, not because I think I know all the answers, but because investigating them is an end in itself.

That just reminded me of a scene from Lost in Translation (random). The Scarlett Johannson character is visiting Kyoto and happens upon a pond in some garden. Stepping stones are laid out somewhat haphazardly across the water. She crosses the pond using the stones. Some are close together, but others require her to jump to reach them. They're not in a straight line. The journey across the pond is the point. The destination is less important.

[Myrtle]

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Well to me his post has a certain 'I don't like my life' tone to it. If I had to read between the lines, I'd say he seems tired of the rat race but still thinks he's smarter than everybody else at work since he has this high powered career. In turn, his co workers probably think he's a condescending prick. I'd bet he also can't enjoy a vacation since he can't be far away from a laptop, cell phone, blackberry, etc due to work obligations...that's why he got some degree of enjoyment out of raking leaves & watching birds feed. Obviously, he's real close to his family!!! In the end he'll just go buy a Porsche so he'll feel better. But that's just my 2 cents.

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wtf is this crap? Someone posts a thoughtful, interesting post about life lessons and you go looking "between the lines" to find some perceived personality flaws?

Take that [censored] to OOT. I would hope that in the Lounge there would be more engaging with the substance of the post and less BS-psychonanalysis to ad hominem the poster.

[/ QUOTE ]

In case you can't read, two different people asked me to expand on how I interpreted his post. So I did.

[/ QUOTE ]

Brad,

You were bound to get an inflammatory response or two, as (quite frankly) there is a ton of assumption and value judgement in your writing here.

FWIW, that's not a problem with me, which is why I asked you to clarify.

Now....IMO, here's the real issue:

What are you going to do with the feedback that you've gotten in this string?

If you dig your heels in and simply defend your position, you have learned nothing from the exchange, and you're the worse off for it.

If you read what others have written and ASK them to explain more of why they think the way that they do, you have a shot at expanding your universe.

It's your choice....

You may think my statement above to be arrogant......so be it if you do.

[/ QUOTE ]

The OP posted something & I gave a one line opinion...my opinion...and you & Katie both ask me why. So I elaborated. Now you & a couple others pulled out your self righteous soapbox & climbed up on it. I simply expressed my opinion on KT's post. Opinion are like excuses, everybody's got one.

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You may think my statement above to be arrogant....

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NOOOOOOOOO Really?

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Wow....

There are few times when I am caught virtually speechless....

I thought I was being understanding of your situation with my response, not pulling you up by the short hairs.

All I can say is that given your response, you've got a long way to go.

[Brad1970]

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I thought I was being understanding of your situation with my response, not pulling you up by the short hairs.

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What 'situation' might that be?

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All I can say is that given your response, you've got a long way to go.

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Is there something I'm not picking up on here??