Personal / dating / whatever life situation general advice thread - Page 30

AbreuTime · #**291** 10-30-2007, 12:37 PM

Henry17's advice is not jiving with a lot of people (myself included) because he has different goals. He can correct me if I mistate his position, but I think he is coming from a position that is different from the others that are posting. His strategy (talk to only hot girls, dont ask for numbers, don't settle for 9's, etc) will succeed in creating an image of selectivity and desirability. This will result in a (relative) small number of dates with a "desirable" pool.

What some posters take issue with is either:
1) "tens" are not attainable for everyone
2) you won't get laid as often / why turn down an 8?
3) are you trying to date hot chicks or are you trying to meet "someone"

I couldn't think of a better way to explain 3), so I'll expand here. This is the source of my disagreement with Henry. I am married to a wonderful, good looking, somewhat shy woman who probably would not have offered her number. If I was following Henry's strategy, I may never have gotten to know her. This anecdote only serves to illustrate why it may be "optimal" from a long-term "happiness" perspective to not limit yourself to dating 10s only (the 10s that I have met would have driven me insane if we dated). You may all of a sudden wake up at 40/50/60/70 years-old as a lonely bachelor who sleeps with hot women but can't stand talking with any of them.

Most of Henry's posts have truth in them (ie. general tips for coming across as desirable to the opposite sex/not coming on too strong), but I would consider the implications of following all his advice, because you may walk out on a wonderful person if you don't get her number.

traz · #**292** 10-30-2007, 12:46 PM

It's not like there are hard and fast rules...in some situations and with some girls you should be more aggressive, and sometimes you should be more aloof. It just takes practice to know how to best calibrate yourself for different situations.

I mean it only makes sense right?

traz · #**293** 10-30-2007, 12:47 PM

Also, as for steve_blaze, if you say you're going to do something, do it. This is a pretty good rule to stick by. If you're not going to follow through, don't say you'll do it in the first place.

JanelleBB7 · #**294** 10-30-2007, 01:29 PM

[ QUOTE ]
3) are you trying to date hot chicks or are you trying to meet "someone"

I couldn't think of a better way to explain 3), so I'll expand here. This is the source of my disagreement with Henry. I am married to a wonderful, good looking, somewhat shy woman who probably would not have offered her number. If I was following Henry's strategy, I may never have gotten to know her. This anecdote only serves to illustrate why it may be "optimal" from a long-term "happiness" perspective to not limit yourself to dating 10s only (the 10s that I have met would have driven me insane if we dated). You may all of a sudden wake up at 40/50/60/70 years-old as a lonely bachelor who sleeps with hot women but can't stand talking with any of them.

Most of Henry's posts have truth in them (ie. general tips for coming across as desirable to the opposite sex/not coming on too strong), but I would consider the implications of following all his advice, because you may walk out on a wonderful person if you don't get her number.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] - take this man's advice.

pokerblonde777 · #**295** 10-30-2007, 04:48 PM

Most girls are turned off when a guy waits more than a couple days to call. It shows that he isn't interested or lacks confidence. And whatever you do, don't wait until you are drunk to call and try to make last minute plans. Major turn-off.

DonkBluffer · #**296** 10-30-2007, 07:51 PM

[ QUOTE ]

3) are you trying to date hot chicks or are you trying to meet "someone"

I couldn't think of a better way to explain 3), so I'll expand here. This is the source of my disagreement with Henry. I am married to a wonderful, good looking, somewhat shy woman who probably would not have offered her number. If I was following Henry's strategy, I may never have gotten to know her. This anecdote only serves to illustrate why it may be "optimal" from a long-term "happiness" perspective to not limit yourself to dating 10s only (the 10s that I have met would have driven me insane if we dated). You may all of a sudden wake up at 40/50/60/70 years-old as a lonely bachelor who sleeps with hot women but can't stand talking with any of them.

Most of Henry's posts have truth in them (ie. general tips for coming across as desirable to the opposite sex/not coming on too strong), but I would consider the implications of following all his advice, because you may walk out on a wonderful person if you don't get her number.

[/ QUOTE ]
You only have a point if you believe in soulmates (like, the ONE person you're meant to be with). Sure, if you followed Henry's strategy you might have never met your current wife, but maybe you'd be married to a '10' with an equally great personality.

Unless you also believe that all hot girls have bad personalities. This just can't be true. Perhaps a relatively high percentage of very attractive girls has a bad personality, but not *all* of them.

ArturiusX · #**297** 10-30-2007, 10:35 PM

I don't see how henry, or anyones strategy, means you can't meet your soul mate.

Hot women can be soul mates too.

nath · #**298** 10-30-2007, 11:23 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I don't see how henry, or anyones strategy, means you can't meet your soul mate.

Hot women can be soul mates too.

[/ QUOTE ]
I think the problem with starting people from square one with henry's ideas, though, is not good, because people without much success or experience usually don't know what they're really attracted to. So they end up chasing someone else's idea of a 10.

JanelleBB7 · #**299** 10-30-2007, 11:29 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I don't see how henry, or anyones strategy, means you can't meet your soul mate.

Hot women can be soul mates too.

[/ QUOTE ]

The point wasn't that hot women can't be soul mates it was really about not limiting yourself to only people you consider to be (or others consider to be) a 10. There is no reason you can't date attractive people but saying someone is a certain # on some stupid hotness scale and using this as a method of picking the women you date is not the best way to go about finding either a GF or "soul mate" or just a person to have fun with. There are so many other considerations other than typifiying women by stupid #'s.

keikiwai · #**300** 10-31-2007, 02:49 AM

[ QUOTE ]

i'm currently fixating on someone i know very well

update in approximately 5 days

wish me/us luck

[/ QUOTE ]

visit to Portland was very nice in every possible way

looks like i'm moving to Portland around Thanksgiving if all goes smoothly

seems like a nice city, so i'm actually looking forward to it

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