Relativity

[joker122]

After playing online poker professionally for six months what I know with the greatest certainty is that all my thoughts and actions are anchored by relativity.

If, on the day I turned pro (3/14/07) someone told me I would make $350k playing poker online over the next 12 months I would be overwhelmed with joy and disbelief. However, if someone told me today that, over this same 12 months (March ’07 to March ’08), I would make this same sum I would be extremely disappointed. This is because I have already made that amount since March, and so they would be effectively telling me that I was going to break even for the next six months.

If I broke even for the next six months I believe I would become progressively angrier, more depressed, and altogether more unhappy. Why? Relativity, obviously. After winning $350k in six months my expectations were drastically reshaped. This, finally getting to the point, thrusts upon me an almost comical paradox: I would actually be happier making considerably less than $350k if I made it pro rata over 12 months than I would be if I made $350k in the first six months and then made $0 in the latter six months. In other words, I would very much prefer to never have made so much so fast.

Another “funny” observation: after having been a big winner for 130k hands at the higher limits (50/100 and 100/200…limit holdem, btw) and then breaking even for approximately 75k hands at those same limits I recently caught myself actually considering quitting poker completely and getting a “real” job. Now, even if I dropped down significantly to, for example, 10/20, I would still be guaranteed to make at least $200k a year – an amount 5x greater than an entry level job would pay. And yet, dropping down didn’t (and still doesn’t) seem like a viable option, simply because those limits and the type of money I would make there is insignificant relative to what I’m accustomed to. But when I turned pro 10/20 was my main game, and I wasn’t even sure I would ever make it to 15/30.

By the same token, my annoyance with this sustained break even stretch is almost totally assuaged by my two faced friend, relativity. Tonight I had dinner with a few of my friends. Their perspective, manifested by complaints of living paycheck to paycheck, working 50 hour weeks in an effort to land an $8k raise, and so on, forced me to acknowledge how good I have it. So, while poker really sucks right now, it’s still pretty good considering.

This is mainly a way for me to vent, but I’d appreciate any insight anyone has to offer.

[gedanken]

There's real science behind what you're saying. Our happiness is not tied to the income metric very well at all. Doctors and lawyers making 6-figure salaries score no "happier" than garbagemen. Happiness actually tracks more closely to how hard you work. (Actually, I believe it tracks even better with whether you're married and have kids, but that's not a good direction for the conversation...)

What really makes you happy, though, is seeing your success in relation to others. Steven Pinker collects these quotes in "How the Mind Works":

[ QUOTE ]
Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of others.
-- Ambrose Bierce

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
When does a hunchback rejoice? When he sees one with a larger hump.
-- Yiddish saying

[/ QUOTE ]

He goes on to suggest that we're programmed to be chronically unhappy (as a default state), but to strive for rare moments when our lot is improving. Happiness seems to only exist for the upticks.

He refers to studies by Donald Campbell, who might be worth looking up.



[edit] oh, and good luck!

[Sevenfold]

Your 'happiness' level is being changed by your changing of what you think will make you happy.

Some contrived exaples:

If for instance, suppose humans 'breathed' through our skin and lungs were outdated organs.

But suppose your skin malfunctioned and you were forced to breath through your lungs. This constant in and out of air would very likely drive you insane.

Or take a lottery winner(s).

Two similiar people pick a winning ticket.

Person A Finds he has won $50. Person B has won $50 million. Two days later lottery officials citing a faulty drawing, pay both players 50K.

Two exact same payouts, huge difference in 'happiness'.

[deluz35]

joker, congratulations, you are one of the very few who have made it to the top. I am still near the bottom, with only 2K to my name. You are where I aspire to be (albeit not playing limit).

But no matter how much $$ you make it will never be enough. The game is endless. If you need to be at the top levels and always be winning, you may set yourself up for a psychological double-bind and (relative) unhappiness. It seems that win-rates and limits involve a trade-off such that as you move to the highest limits, you have to be willing to trade winning frequency (BB/100) for Total $ won.

Maybe it would be worth investing 1K to procure the service of a "Master Mind", some sports psychologist that can effectively address these concerns and help you avoid chronic unhappiness from the need to play at the highest limits and to always win be winning $$ every month.

Or maybe, it's just a matter of time and after another year of these limits you will adjust your expectations and it will be a moot point.

[Albert Moulton]

You might be isolated a little too much due to the nature of on-line poker.

You could consider applying what you know to writing a book, or a blog, or coaching, or teaching a course at the local Learning Center, or something related to poker that isn't necessarily playing poker on-line in your office at home by yourself.

You might also start playing some of the high stakes professional poker tournaments live. Sounds like you have the money and the talent, so if you gave the pro tour a year you'd probably end up on TV with some endorsements to supplement your on-line income.