Helping girlfriend make friends. HELP!

Dan Cole · #1 09-25-2007, 12:39 AM

I met a girl while traveling in August of 2006. We started to talk online a lot and became "boyfriend/girlfriend" within a month and started visiting each other back and forth. The plan all alone was for her to move from her hometown of Chicago to NYC to live with me. She did so 3 months ago and things have been pretty good. We got an apartment and a cat together and she got a pretty good job making quite a bit more money than she was making before.

The only real problem is that she hasn't had any luck making friends. She had a couple of people in mind that she could hang out with here but 2 of them ended up moving unexpectedly and one just sucks ( stole something from her ). She's tried pretty hard to meet people at work but hasn't had much luck. I told her she should randomly message some people off of Myspace who are into the same music and stuff she is, which she was totally against, but she tried it and that didn't yield anything.

I know from my personal experience, making good friends can definitely be hard and it's probably easier for guys. I mean I've lived in NYC for around 3 years and probably only have 5-7 friends that I think I'll stay in touch with 10 years from now.

Anyway does anyone have any experience with this? I'll admit I didn't really fully comprehend how hard it is to make friends and how important that is to girls at first so I didn't do much to help her. I was thinking that just going out to clubs/bars with her would probably help, but I thought someone might have some better advice.

Thanks

garcia1000 · #2 09-25-2007, 12:42 AM

Join an archery club or yoga or calisthenics or whatever it is girls do.

Also, pics?

Alobar · #3 09-25-2007, 12:42 AM

Have her find a hobby or something that she can get into where she can meet other people. Be it rock climbing or tennis or a book club or yoga or whatever the [censored] she is interested in.

Dan Cole · #4 09-25-2007, 12:46 AM

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Have her find a hobby or something that she can get into where she can meet other people. Be it rock climbing or tennis or a book club or yoga or whatever the [censored] she is interested in.

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Good point, she said she was going to start taking dance classes again when she moved here, I should try and get her to do that.

No pics, but she's really good looking. She has met like 3 or 4 dudes who she thought seemed nice and would want to be her friend, but all of them ended up making inappropriate comments to her pretty quickly so she stopped talking to them. So that's been bumming her out pretty hard too.

Alobar · #5 09-25-2007, 12:49 AM

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She has met like 3 or 4 dudes who she thought seemed nice and would want to be her friend, but all of them ended up making inappropriate comments to her pretty quickly so she stopped talking to them. So that's been bumming her out pretty hard too.

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lol, I love how dumb girls can be.

Sounds like you need to give her the "no guy ever wants to be your friend" speech.

Dan Cole · #6 09-25-2007, 12:52 AM

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She has met like 3 or 4 dudes who she thought seemed nice and would want to be her friend, but all of them ended up making inappropriate comments to her pretty quickly so she stopped talking to them. So that's been bumming her out pretty hard too.

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lol, I love how dumb girls can be.

Sounds like you need to give her the "no guy ever wants to be your friend" speech.

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Haha yeah. It surprised her because she's always had a lot of close male friends, most of whom she's known for a long time and who never put the moves on her. So I guess she thought she could cheat nature. But to most dudes "I have a boyfriend" means "I have a boyfriend I want to cheat on".

tdarko · #7 09-25-2007, 12:56 AM

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She has met like 3 or 4 dudes who she thought seemed nice and would want to be her friend, but all of them ended up making inappropriate comments to her pretty quickly so she stopped talking to them. So that's been bumming her out pretty hard too.

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lol. New thread title, "Helping girlfriend make girl friends. HELP!"

She wasn't really bummed out that men want to f her and not be her friend was she?

Dan Cole · #8 09-25-2007, 12:59 AM

[ QUOTE ]
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She has met like 3 or 4 dudes who she thought seemed nice and would want to be her friend, but all of them ended up making inappropriate comments to her pretty quickly so she stopped talking to them. So that's been bumming her out pretty hard too.

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lol. New thread title, "Helping girlfriend make girl friends. HELP!"

She wasn't really bummed out that men want to f her and not be her friend was she?

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Well she was bummed out that in some of the instances she thought she had met someone other than me she could hang out with and then they made it clear they were trying to bang her despite that she had mentioned pretty early on that she had a boyfriend she lived with.

asofel · #9 09-25-2007, 01:07 AM

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I told her she should randomly message some people off of Myspace who are into the same music and stuff

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ell oh ell

Alobar · #10 09-25-2007, 01:11 AM

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She wasn't really bummed out that men want to f her and not be her friend was she?

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I've got a lot of chick friends, and I can't even begin to count how many times after some guy they thought just wanted to be their friend tried to nail them, that I've had to explain to them that guys already have friends, they don't want to make new friends with some girl. If they are showing any interest in you its because they want to [censored] you.

Which every single time is always followed by

her: "that's not true, we are just friends and you are a guy"
me: "we've already [censored]"
her: frowning "oh yeah"