B&M Cliches

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Three I never get tired of hearing (and wish I heard more):

* How much can I bet?

* Can I raise?

* Oh, I know all about poker ... except ... How does this blinds thing work?

[AKQJ10]

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Saw a post on here a while back and have used it ever since. Anytime somebody asks me what I had when I win/lose a pot and don't show it down, I say "Pocket Jacks". It's amazing in how many situations Jacks can make sense, and the person who asked will just nod their head and believe you.

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And I think it was stipulated that once you start saying "pocket jacks", you have to continue even with three or four jacks on board. I guess it's sorta like chopping, it'd be rude to switch horses midstream.

[AKQJ10]

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Reminds me, I did something like this last night after my gutshot+flush missed the river. I flipped up 7-high on the river and shouted, "7-high good!" One guy seriously answered, "You really think you were good there?"

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Yes, I like to shout "Seven high!" and table my cards theatrically -- roughly the same effect.

[Devil Duq]

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Have to bring this topic back.
Why hadn't "No free checking at this bank" been brought up?
I hear it from EVERY dealer at the Ameristar in KC.

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At my card room, you'd hear something similar. When action gets checked around to a certain player, he rarely fails to declare: "No checks, cash only!"

In a similar vein, why is it that poker cliches somehow seem funnier when spoken in an Asian accent?

[GoAheadRiverMe]

After reading all this I am now afraid to say anything at the table. Everything seems pretty well covered, no talking now.

[Rick Nebiolo]

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I'm tired of saying "nice hand".

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I figure I can't say it with sincerity so I've never said it even once.

~ Rick

[Rick Nebiolo]

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I'm tired of saying "nice hand".

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I figure I can't say it with sincerity so I've never said it even once.

~ Rick

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D_mn. I just realized this is like a year old thread!

[DrewOnTilt]

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Cheesiest thing I ever said was when I was on the button and the person who was supposed to be small blind got up so, there was just a big blind. After it was folded around to me, I asked the big blind if he wanted to chop.

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I once was the big blind in this same situation, only I raised and stole my own blind. That actually got a good laugh from the table.

[Paul Levy]

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I had like ten of these in mind when I decided I was going to start this thread, but I forgot some. Anyway, what else ya got?

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Guy that justifies a marginal call preflop saying 'I had a straight flush draw'.

'Chip and a chair', in tournament play, followed by lengthy and inaccurate accounts of Jack Straus winning the wsop.

In general, people showing off knowing trite anecdotes that everyone knows of, or having read popular books.

For instance yesterday some guy thought he was cool by pointing out that Kh is known as the 'suicide king'.

[Mustafa]

Lots of nits here, many with probable anger management issues.