The Folder of the Absurd (large, might load slow)

[Los Feliz Slim]

In my line of work, I get some crazy [censored] in the mail. For several years I've been holding on to my favorite crap in a folder I call The Folder of the Absurd. I'm sharing a few pieces in the hopes that they will amuse you, and that you might scan/post some other absurd things for my own amusement.

First, this card was included in an envelope with a headshot and resume submission I received. Can you tell which of these options is absurd?



Next is a four-page letter than accompanied another headshot and resume that was sent to a couple female agents in the office. I didn't scan it in color because it'd be hard to read, but this is all written on red construction paper, which makes it better. Enjoy.









I've got more, I'll post some more later once y'all pony up your good stuff. Hope you liked it.

[El Diablo]

LFS,

Great stuff. I gotta decide whether there's anything I can post up here without getting sued, haha. Now it makes me wish I had saved all the hilarious emails I get from random people.

Maybe I'll just add some absurd workplace stories, I have plenty.

[Los Feliz Slim]

Absurdity in all its forms is welcome here. I also have some stuff I want to post but can't, like the guy who sent me a headshot along with COLOR copies of his: driver's license, social security card, scuba license, gun permit, and passport picture page (all to prove he had them). Basically, he sent me his entire identity in an envelope.

[Kneel B4 Zod]

[ QUOTE ]
LFS,

Great stuff. I gotta decide whether there's anything I can post up here without getting sued, haha. Now it makes me wish I had saved all the hilarious emails I get from random people.

Maybe I'll just add some absurd workplace stories, I have plenty.

[/ QUOTE ]

diablo,
just cover the names!

[Howard Treesong]

Funniest work event for me: our office manager sends an email to all employees. A guy in our mailroom, Cesar, responds, thinking he's responding only to her -- and signs it "Big Brown Cesar, The Lady Pleaser." Of course, it goes to everyone in the entire office.

[Los Feliz Slim]

Somehow my email address has made it onto a website or database for writers to pitch screenplays (although that's not who I represent), so I get ridiculous pitches on a near-daily basis. This one I just got is a doozy:

[ QUOTE ]
THE BIG BANG is a time travel story involving a young Aldebarani combat space pilot using a interstellar submarine to jump into THE BIG BANG to reach the past. What will happen when human lifespan gets expanded to exceed even our wildest dreams? The Aldebaranis and Capitslaves are locked into deadly battles. While exterminating conflict rages between the Young and the Old the radio borne METATRACERS get imbedded into the minds of the meek. This is the story of the conflict that crushes everyone in between in the once peaceful and prosperopus quadrant of the galaxy, indeed, it is THE CYBERTACTICAL time travel adventure that many will follow but few will equal. This is a new-breed film and a new word to go with it --is--CYBERTACTICS. This CYBERTACTICAL time travel adventure is a NEW HIGH CONCEPT that carries the huge potential in virtual games and products. Take a peek into the near future and witness as young and the old play Abraham The Computer, The Alpha and the Omega, the Capitslave generals, Silva the Plane and Barthol the Aldebarani Pilot, the Stooge Priests and Meson Laser Operators or operate the Moon Supercollider Laying Cubs and Tractor Trailers.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Slow Play Ray]

[ QUOTE ]
Maybe I'll just add some absurd workplace stories, I have plenty.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wait, you have a real job? I honestly did not think you did, I thought you just played poker. What do you do?

[Evan]

When I was 16 I worked at the county clerk's office filing legal documents. This one guy who had been convicted of some serious crime would send a letter every week to the judge that had convicted him calling her a "dirty bitch" and "cum guzzling whore" (gg profanity filter). They'd all get sent to us to be put in the case file. Pretty interesting reading.

[CharlieDontSurf]

i should post some of the script query letters i get but don't want to get fired.

[Los Feliz Slim]

[ QUOTE ]
i should post some of the script query letters i get but don't want to get fired.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm going to go scan the mother of all crazy pitches. Back in a jiffy.