Ex-GF's father diagnosed with cancer. Suggestions?

[Wired Jokers]

As I have aged, I have realized one of the most important truisms in life is this:

"In life, you almost always regret the things that you had the opportuntity to do, but found an excuse to avoid or ignore. Rarely do you regret the things you did do, no matter how difficult or wrong they ended up being."

A lot of the younger posters on these boards will have no idea what I mean. But you will.

From your description of your relationship, if you do not visit this poor man, you will literally regret it to your dying day. Please go see him.

Your relationship with your ex, to me, is completely irrelevant.

[chopstick]

[ QUOTE ]
As I have aged, I have realized one of the most important truisms in life is this:

"In life, you almost always regret the things that you had the opportuntity to do, but found an excuse to avoid or ignore. Rarely do you regret the things you did do, no matter how difficult or wrong they ended up being."

A lot of the younger posters on these boards will have no idea what I mean. But you will.

From your description of your relationship, if you do not visit this poor man, you will literally regret it to your dying day. Please go see him.

Your relationship with your ex, to me, is completely irrelevant.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with all of this.

A shortcut to making these kind of decisions is to ask yourself "When I am on my deathbed, if I think back on this moment, what will I have want to have done?"

Go see the man and relive some golf stories, joke around, and hang out. This has nothing to do with your ex, please trust me on this one.

[inishowen]

R.I.P Mr F,

You lived a good and honest life which by the turn out to your memorial affected many many people.

To those on here that suggested I go see him, thanks. My visit was a surprise set up by his wife, I'll always remember the joyful look on his face when he saw me. I barely recognized him with his illness. We sat and talked about golf for two hours. The last thing he said to me was "thanks for coming to see me".

[maryfield48]

So have you nailed the ex yet, or what?

[wdogg40]

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if you like him, visit him (i would go even if you dont like him). [b]I would also try to be a "rock" for her butt; thats my personality.[b]

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[guids]

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This is a bad idea IMO. Since she is preparing to bury her father there really is no up side to this for you at all. You can be her rock through this very difficult time but by the time her father makes his grand exit and she is ready for anything else in her life you will have hung around for several months for.....what?
If you truly liked her old man I would consider making one trip out to see him to pay your respects before he is too ill. This really only applies though if he liked you too.
It just sounds to me like you are getting ready to devote tons of time to this because you want her back and all the while she will get a free ride.....tons of support from someone she knows and trusts but can discard when she's done with the 'well I never said we were getting back together' excuse.

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I find this ridiculous, and pretty nasty and immature. Saying that she "gets a free ride" is pretty disgusting. Just because she is your ex, doesnt mean anything imo, is she your friend? if you feel like you want to be there to support her, by all means do so.

[skunkworks]

Thanks for the contributions, dick holes. Really showing your sensitive sides.

OP - It's good that you went to go see him. Did the ex ever find out you did?

[skunkworks]

guids - lol. Guys should only provide emotional support for chicks if it increases their chance of getting vag AMIRITE? Right.

Now let's go shotgun some MGD and date rape some college coeds.

[membersclub]

From the sounds of things, you were fortunate to have shared a close and meaningful friendship with your ex-girlfriend's father, so whatever you do DON'T write him a letter as it may come across as slightly impersonal. Go and see him in person. I'm sure it would mean a lot more to him to actually see and talk to you.

As for your ex-girlfriend, just be a good friend to her. Just showing you care is enough – she will appreciate it.

EDIT: inishowen, I just read your later post after posting mine. Sorry to hear about his death. I'm glad you took the opportunity to see him in person.

[qdmcg]

[ QUOTE ]
guids - lol. Guys should only provide emotional support for chicks if it increases their chance of getting vag AMIRITE? Right.

Now let's go shotgun some MGD and date rape some college coeds.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think most of these posts were more focused on the OP's desire to get back together with said ex, who seems to have broken up with him. Their advice w.r.t that is good (don't use this as an opportunity).