Kinda OT: How to teach a total novice poker

[A_C_Slater]

I've taught a few people who didn't even know the hand rankings before they started. The best thing to do is to start them off playing limit hold em and give them a starting hand chart. If they deviate from it at all and start playing hands they shouldn't you must then berate them mercilessly for their lack of patience. Make sure they are betting top pair+ and their flush/str8 draws. Then move on to letting them know when it's correct to draw to inside str8s and such by explaining pot odds. After that it starts to get more difficult and they will either totally ignore everything you've taught them and play how they feel or they will conform and end up being slightly above break-even in the micros.