Two Plus Two Newer Archives  

Go Back   Two Plus Two Newer Archives > 2+2 Communities > EDF

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #31  
Old 11-30-2007, 06:12 PM
beanie beanie is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 517
Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

I was spanked when I was a kid. Eventually you get desensitized to it. I don't really feel I was too negatively affected by it but I don't believe in it for my parenting skills. As I got to be a teen my dad and I came to blows more than once.

Thing about it is I thought then as I do now that my dad was having a bad day and it was sort of his release. Being a father now it is very frustrating, particularly right around dinner time, and a lot of patience is required.

I would feel foolish if I could think myself out of how to beat Ace King and couldn't give some thought to not hitting my child. I think it is a short cut to actual parenting and could potentially have bad affects. It didn't in my case or yours but it would seem it could in others.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 11-30-2007, 06:25 PM
RustedCorpse RustedCorpse is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: NYC Crimson Team
Posts: 827
Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

This issue is one reason I think I will never have children.

I'm 28 and my parents beat the living hell out of me. Both my mother and my father, my father not as often but when he did it was pretty severe (cracked hip, ruptured cornea, broken rib) My mother on the other hand would torment a little and often use anything from tennis rackets to wiffle ball bats.

Eventually, as I left home, my father was diagnosed with severe depression and diabetes. Once getting treated for that he mellowed out considerably, my younger brother and sister as a result never ever really got beaten.

The strange thing is on a comparable scale I'm far more socially balanced/disciplined than my brother and my sister. My brother has had multiple run in's with the law on a level that borders on stupid. My sister is a complete trainwreck in almost all aspects of her life, including child abandonment and two failed marriages.

Looking back I figured I deserved some beatings, probably not to the level of severity that occured, however I don't really harbor animosity to my family over it, I think raising children is hard and they probably did the best they could for them.

I think if I ever had children I'd do a better job, yet at the same time I often wonder if many abusive parents think the same thing. I think the right answer is probably somewhere in the middle.
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 11-30-2007, 06:40 PM
astroglide astroglide is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,836
Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

[ QUOTE ]
I wasn't shocked because of the fact that parents hit their children, I was shocked because kids who I think turned out really well were hit when they were little.

[/ QUOTE ]

i would wager that a huge majority of baby boomers were hit by their parents. have you considered how many of them turned out really well?
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 11-30-2007, 06:40 PM
miajag miajag is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Bawlmer, hon
Posts: 8,266
Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

I only recall actually being hit a couple times, but the threat was made a lot and definitely helped keep me in line. Stuff like my mom giving me the silent treatment for a couple days when she was really mad at me was soooo much worse than any physical punishment I ever got. I don't think there's anything at all wrong with spanking, it's a fine way to control behavior without emotionally or physically scarring the child.
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 11-30-2007, 06:43 PM
astroglide astroglide is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,836
Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

[ QUOTE ]
I'm 28 and my parents beat the living hell out of me. Both my mother and my father, my father not as often but when he did it was pretty severe (cracked hip, ruptured cornea, broken rib) My mother on the other hand would torment a little and often use anything from tennis rackets to wiffle ball bats.

[/ QUOTE ]



sheesh!
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 11-30-2007, 06:43 PM
miajag miajag is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Bawlmer, hon
Posts: 8,266
Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

[ QUOTE ]

I was shocked because kids who I think turned out really well were hit when they were little.


[/ QUOTE ]

That's ridiculous. We're not talking about daily brutal beatings here, just occasional slaps/spankings when the kid is really out of line. I highly doubt that alone would ever cause a kid to not "turn out really well" if he would have otherwise.
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 11-30-2007, 06:49 PM
Golden_Rhino Golden_Rhino is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Nowhere Fast
Posts: 3,879
Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

I'm 33 and I used to get hit with the wooden spoon by my mom. It wouldn't be a savage beating; just a quick swat to the butt. My dad only hit me once, and he kinda lost control, so he never did it again.

I don't have kids, but I assume that I will spank them when I do have them.
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 11-30-2007, 06:50 PM
adios adios is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 8,132
Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

A swat (not a hard one either) is arguably effective at very young ages to get a childs attention IMO. My experience was and is to refrain from using corporal punishment. The hitting in the face stuff is a definite no-no IMO. I was spanked but I grew up in a different period. I don't think it's a good way to go FWIW. Think about the times that you can remember getting spanked and think if an alternate form of discipline would have worked just as well or better.
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 11-30-2007, 06:52 PM
MissT74 MissT74 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Kingman, Arizona
Posts: 887
Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

I think we need to stick with the OP's original thoughts/ideas about spanking vs. outright abuse. There's a HUGE difference and if you can't see that then you were never spanked at all growing up, imo.

T
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 11-30-2007, 06:53 PM
istewart istewart is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 8,990
Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:25 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions Inc.