Married at 20 ??!!??!!?

[Misfire]

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SOP for the Christian mindset.

1. - Hardcore Christians say sex outside of marriage is wrong - while studies suggest lots of Church kids bend the rules anyways, by and large, the God Squad is saving it as a gift for the person they love on their wedding night.

2. - IE - no sex till marriage, and if she's a College student dating a fellow student, they'll have been in a hyperclose environment where they spend virtually every evening together in public areas of the campus, getting to know each other, and sharing a spiritual bond which can feel even closer then the physical. -

3 - at this point, if they're even halfway believing in a call from God, their raging hormones and mental juggling will be saying "God WANTS me to marry this person" - ergo, the sudden rush to the altar - Sex has something to do with it, but a lot of it is the environment.

I spent 5 years in Christian colleges where you weren't even allowed in the same room with the opposite sex with the door closed - I knew kids at one college who got engaged Fall Quarter, first year.

dumb? - naive perhaps, but generally they're pretty hardcore about not divorcing either - again, can't predict everything, but going by the generalizations you've given, very par for the course.

rb

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QFT, except they're pretty hardcore a bout not divorcing until they leave the church.

This was me back in the day. I joined the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" crowd and did everything by the book. I was married for 3 years, and she eventually lost interest in God and me and eventually left for greener pastures (and most likely the guy I think she was sleeping with).

Actually reading the Bible (imagine!) yields absolutely no prohibition on premarital sex. There is a penalty for not marrying a girl if you sleep with her, but that has more to do with dowry than purity. There's also an instruction to flee youthful lust, but that would also apply to kids marrying too earlry for lustful reasons (as I think most of these 18-21 year old Christian marriages are about). The ideas about sex and marriage espoused by modern Christian churches are dangerous in this sense because they encourage behavior potentially more irresponsible than premarital sex. My best friend married at 17, mostly out of the guilt she felt for sleeping with her now husband. They're still married, but they've always been financially stressed and on the brink of splitting up. Her husband has had numerous affairs, and threatens to leave regularly.

Having my marriage fall apart is the most painful thing I've ever been through, and it upsets me to see these kids setting themselves up for it.

[samsonite2100]

Getting married before 30 is stupid, case closed. Yes, there are exceptions, but most people are still growing and changing well into and through their twenties. Getting hitched at 20 is asking for trouble.

[Misfire]

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Which GNR song? Sweet Child O' Mine?

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obv

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Yeah, Estranged would have been a bad choice.

[Nez477]

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Getting married before 30 is stupid, case closed. Yes, there are exceptions, but most people are still growing and changing well into and through their twenties. Getting hitched at 20 is asking for trouble.

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These types of statements are silly.

Also, I read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". While the concept behind it was good, I found most of the expectations unrealistic and kind of unnatainable.

[Nez477]

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Getting married before 30 is stupid, case closed. Yes, there are exceptions, but most people are still growing and changing well into and through their twenties. Getting hitched at 20 is asking for trouble.

[/ QUOTE ]

Continuing on....

So what is everyone supposed to do? Wait to really look for a wife till 28? Before then just screw around and get emotionally unstable so you can add to the overwhelming divorce rate?

I mean, overall debating when people should get married is kind of pointless as half of them are going to end with divorce anyway. Life throws different things your way, to each his or her own.

[samsonite2100]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Getting married before 30 is stupid, case closed. Yes, there are exceptions, but most people are still growing and changing well into and through their twenties. Getting hitched at 20 is asking for trouble.

[/ QUOTE ]

Continuing on....

So what is everyone supposed to do? Wait to really look for a wife till 28? Before then just screw around and get emotionally unstable so you can add to the overwhelming divorce rate?

I mean, overall debating when people should get married is kind of pointless as half of them are going to end with divorce anyway. Life throws different things your way, to each his or her own.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd be willing to be that the divorce rate for 20 year olds is much higher than for people who get married at 30 or 35. But I'm too lazy to look for stats. At any rate, as I said, there are exceptions, but by and large giving up all your relationship/sexual options after high school is something people usually wind up regretting.

[Nez477]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Getting married before 30 is stupid, case closed. Yes, there are exceptions, but most people are still growing and changing well into and through their twenties. Getting hitched at 20 is asking for trouble.

[/ QUOTE ]

Continuing on....

So what is everyone supposed to do? Wait to really look for a wife till 28? Before then just screw around and get emotionally unstable so you can add to the overwhelming divorce rate?

I mean, overall debating when people should get married is kind of pointless as half of them are going to end with divorce anyway. Life throws different things your way, to each his or her own.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd be willing to be that the divorce rate for 20 year olds is much higher than for people who get married at 30 or 35. But I'm too lazy to look for stats. At any rate, as I said, there are exceptions, but by and large giving up all your relationship/sexual options after high school is something people usually wind up regretting.

[/ QUOTE ]

Putting age as the main parameter of marriage is just wrong. It's super simplifying a very complex subject, which is part of the problem in the first place.

My sister and a friend from high school are 23 and 22 respectively and are already married and divorced. They regret their decision. My best friend and I were both married at 20 and have very strong happy lives with our wives. We could analyze the differences between each situation and that would give us tons more info that the fact that we were all 20 when we got married.

[TomCollins]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Getting married before 30 is stupid, case closed. Yes, there are exceptions, but most people are still growing and changing well into and through their twenties. Getting hitched at 20 is asking for trouble.

[/ QUOTE ]

Continuing on....

So what is everyone supposed to do? Wait to really look for a wife till 28? Before then just screw around and get emotionally unstable so you can add to the overwhelming divorce rate?

I mean, overall debating when people should get married is kind of pointless as half of them are going to end with divorce anyway. Life throws different things your way, to each his or her own.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd be willing to be that the divorce rate for 20 year olds is much higher than for people who get married at 30 or 35. But I'm too lazy to look for stats. At any rate, as I said, there are exceptions, but by and large giving up all your relationship/sexual options after high school is something people usually wind up regretting.

[/ QUOTE ]

The divorce date on people who marry at 80 is a lot less than 35 too.

Maybe people should wait until then?

[AnyAce]

Interesting stats on divorce by age at time of marriage from the Centers for Disease Control. I think Figure 1 on Page 6 shows pretty well that the younger the woman is the more likely there is a divorce in the future.

CDC stats on divorce



AA

[Nez477]

Interesting that after about 16 years those married when 25 years or older have a higher divorce rate than those married 20-24. Or maybe death comes into the equation there, heh.