Anecdotes on airplanes

[Enrique]

Reading the post by ChipWrecked gave me the idea of this post, a post where we detail funny anecdotes of flying. I have many, but I will only post two on this first entry. The main idea of this is to post fun anecdotes of traveling, it doesn't have to be flying it could be riding on a bus, on a train, on a horse or whatever.

Here are two anecdotes I like:
1)Three students of Mexico City and me got a scholarship to go to the Weizmann Institute to join a Summer Science Camp in Rehovot, Israel. The organizers asked us to take Mexican things to show the students from other parts of the world. As expected the three guys (the Mexicans were 3 guys and a girl) did not bring much, only a big sombrero, but the girl had lots of things, including a lot of Mexican candy.
When traveling to Israel, the security is intense, they put your bags through a special machine that can withstand bombs (if you're luggage has a bomb, it explodes inside the machine and if the bomb is not that powerful, nothing happens to the people, I think). They do a 5 minute interview with you, to do profiling, trying to see if you contradict yourself they often ask the same questions in a different phrasing.
It turns out Mexican candy looks like C4, the bomb, so the interview with the girl was very long (about an hour) and it was funny because at points the dialogue was something like this:
Inspector: This are bombs
Girl: No, they are candy.
Inspector: How do we know they are candy?
Girl: Well, you can eat it.
Inspector: If I try it might explode in my mouth
Girl: No, it's candy
Inspector: But how do I know it won't explode?
and so on.

After the one hour interview, they took the four of us to a special room did another interrogation and passed all our luggage again through the machine (and our shoes, on that day I learned my shoes "Teva" were Israeli).

2) This anecdote is shorter, it involved the flight from New York to Tel Aviv just after the interrogation. I sit down next to a Jewish couple. They seem nice, they are reading the newspaper. During the flight, a woman sitting in front of the male Jewish man, reclines her seat to sleep. He grabs the seat and pushes it forward (I have never seen someone do this). The woman looks confused and tries again. The man, again pushes her seat forward. She tries again, he does it again. It goes on for four times before she turns around:
Woman: What is your problem?
Man: I want to read, I can't read if you recline your seat.
Woman: Well, recline your seat too and you can read.
Man: I don't want to recline your seat.
Woman: But I want to sleep.
Man: But I want to read.
The comments were much more intense than I can convey with my poor writing, but I hope you get the idea. The funniest part was when the flight attendant arrive to see what the fuss was about. The flight attendant was young and you could see he had never seen something like this. I was laughing hysterically inside my head. The outcome was that the lady would not recline her seat, the Jewish guy won.
I might like to add that beside that incident, the Jewish couple was very nice, they seemed very interested in the fact that I study Mathematics. I had fun talking to them.

[MissT74]

I was traveling with my then 9 month old baby, got to the airport literally 5 mins before take off, had to run across airport after checking everything in, including her diaper bag. (It was only a 1 hour flight)

You guessed it. The flight was actually delayed for 2 hours and she did the deed. I walked the entire airport and couldn't find a single other person with a baby that I could buy a diaper from, and all gift shops were closed. (Small airport in California, it was about 10pm).

I sure felt sorry for the guy sitting next to us. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

T

[youtalkfunny]

First time I go home on leave, I wear my Class A uniform (you know, the snazzy, dress-up version) on the plane. The regs say you have to, and I was too much of a newb to realize that nobody would give a crap if I didn't.

(Now that I think of it, every time I see a kid in an airport wearing his Class A's, it's always a newb private.)

Any way, I step aboard the plane. A male flight attendant is greeting the passengers. He's giving everyone the usual fake enthusiastic greeting, but when he gets to me, he points to a seat in Business Class and tells me, "Your seat is right there."

I'm confused. "No, I'm in seat 67-F."

"No," he says, again pointing to the front row in business class, "your seat is right there."

He didn't know that I was young and stupid. Nor did he know that I'm from the Northeast, and we like to argue, and we'd rather be right than sitting in a comfortable seat in Business Class with free booze and a real dinner.

I scowl to show my annoyance at his stupidity, and draw a deep breath to tell him that he doesn't know what he's talking about...

...I'm saved by a nearby female flight attendant, who brings her face very close to mine and says sternly yet sweetly, "He's trying to be nice to you."

The light bulb over my head finally illuminates. I mutter an embarrassed "Oh, thanks," and take my new seat.

Anybody remember the days of a real meal on a plane? I got a steak. It came on a real plate, with steel utensils and a cloth napkin. Everyone back in Row 67 was eating a soggy ham sandwich in a paper box.

[Taso]

Good stuff YTF, thats the way people serving the country should be treated.

[daveT]

I was in Orlando Florida for Christmas and decided to take the Greyhound bus down to Marathon. I had already taken the bus once, and it wasn't that bad. I enjoyed myself, really, as that last bus was empty for the whole route.

This time, I was not so fortunate. Every seat was taken, and I was stuck in the back, where no one sits, because that is where the bathroom is, which wouldn't be a bad thing if they had cleaned it and it had decent plumbing. Every time the bus hit a bump, the water sloshed, emanating a putrid smell.

The guy sitting next to me was once a trucker, and per all prejudices, he ate way too much, and didn't shower consistantly. Of coarse, I wouldn't have learned his entire life story if I didn't have to listen to him talk for two hours non-stop. I was trying to ignore him at first, but the torture of ignoring him and reading a book while listening to my headphones was too much to take.

The guy finally shut up, to sleep, and lean on me. At the time, I weighed about 145 pounds if I was sitting on a camel. I couldn't weigh which would be worse: him talking, or him leaning on me while he slept. For crying out loud, this guy was going to West Palms beach. Why couldn't he stay awake for four hours? If it got him to shut up, it was fine by me. The person sitting in front of us turned around and laughed in understanding.

Eight hours later, I get off the bus in Marathon. It was 10 PM. I stood outside the bus and waited for the driver to retrieve my bicycle. I told him I had a box, and he started acting stupid.

"Where is your ticket."
"Here, sir." I showed him the ticket.
"I don't see it, where is it?"
"Right here."
"Nope, where is it."

This is bad. My bike was worth over $1000. I shove the ticket closer to his face.

"Sir, the ticket is supposed to be stapled to your pamphlet. Now, I don't have to let you take it."

He leaned in closer:"I don't appreciate it you shoving that in my face."

It was never any closer than 6 inches.

"You did hear me right?"

"Right?"

"Right, can you please give me my bike."

"I don't have to let you take it with your attitude. If you go right now, let's go."

I stood in shock. I guess he felt like I was a threat to the woman who got off the bus at the same time as me. Was he stalling me?

I waited. Satisfied that I knew who the Alpha was, he let me have my bike.

[Enrique]

Your story about being offered a seat in front reminds me of another anecdote:

I was doing the short flight from Cd. Juarez, Chihuahua to León, Guanajuato. I was 16. I was traveling with a friend who was traveling with his dad, we were going to Guanajuato to some math olympiad classes. It turns out that a celebrity was on the airplane, his name is Mario Bezares, he is a comedian. He was sitting right behind us. The flight attendant came and told him he could go to the business class section. The father of my friend decided that if Mario Bezares deserved special treatment, we deserved some too. So he got up and explained to the flight attendant how his son and me were representing the country in an international math competition (not true, it wasn't yet known what the final cut would be). We were actually moved to the business class. It was fun.

[thirddan]

not on the plane, but while checking our luggage in at security on a flight from la to chicago the security people made my ex remove her boots so that they could inspect the heels while letting my diabetic friend carry his insulin kit onto the plane while it was full of hypodermic needles...he didn't have to show doctor notes or anything...alwyas thought that was super lame and not a very good showing for the airport...this was 2003 or so...

[BigBuffet]

About twenty years ago my wife was travelling with a group on business. On the return flight she boards and finds Don Rickles, the comedian, in her seat. And he refused to get up!

The stewardess came over and he gave her some guff before finally moving to his seat.

******

When I was in grade school, my parents and I were flying somewhere. While waiting to board, my mom just had to make a phone call. This was back when payphones were in glass booths. So she's on the phone and my dad and I are reading or something. They board everyone and the plane starts taxing.

All of a sudden we realize our plane is taking off. The phone booth was right by the boarding gate window so my mom drops the phone, runs out and asks the gate people to call the plane back [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

******

The only anecdote I have is sneaking into first class on a return flight from vegas earlier this year. They caught me. So I get up from my window seat and spill the aisle passenger's bloddy mary. Lucky she had stood up because it landed on her seat [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

[RR]

[ QUOTE ]
First time I go home on leave, I wear my Class A uniform (you know, the snazzy, dress-up version) on the plane. The regs say you have to, and I was too much of a newb to realize that nobody would give a crap if I didn't.

[/ QUOTE ]

My sister was in the air force. She was asked not to wear her uniform on flights. She is afraid to fly and screams frequently during the flight. She had to fly on business about once a week.

[thirddan]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
First time I go home on leave, I wear my Class A uniform (you know, the snazzy, dress-up version) on the plane. The regs say you have to, and I was too much of a newb to realize that nobody would give a crap if I didn't.

[/ QUOTE ]

My sister was in the air force. She was asked not to wear her uniform on flights. She is afraid to fly and screams frequently during the flight. She had to fly on business about once a week.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is sad and funny at the same time...