I got slapped 1st time ever

[Dan BRIGHT]

Ok so i walk over from my hotel on burrard after a -9k session to granville street. I go get a later supper and around 10:30 pm i wander into some bar... i tihnk it was roxy. theres not many people there, so i leave. I go across te street to Tonic.... more ppl but its a bit too loud and its composed of a lot of hyper-drunk "must always dance" girls and fat loser boring retard guys. I spend about 20 min there and then go back to the other place.

Turns out some live music has started so ppl are goin in. Im not feeling that up since i just had a -9 buyin session in 600 hands, so im just trying to warmup a bit. Ive already had like a single rye and coke for 5.50.... and when i find out that doubles were 8.50.... and long island ice teas were 6.50, the drinking errupted. My memory isnt really clear, but this is what i csan reconstruct.


I didnt intend to, but I accidently had the cocky egomaniac cranked to about 11/10 for most of the night. I was also pretty loud and very hammered. Probably had about 16 drinks by the end of it and im not a heavy drinker.

I basically went around talking to almost everyone that looked like they had some sort of redeemable value.

I go to the door girl to pay cover, shes pretty cute and probably gets hit on a lot.
me: "hey"
her: "that'll be 8 dollars"
me: "do you just pick a number randomly out of your head?"
her: "do I just pick my number?????" <she thinks i mean phone number duhhhhh>
me: "no I mean the cover is so arbitrary"
her: "????" <confused look on her face>
me: "do you speak english?"
her: "..."
me: <walks away>




"are you drunk and horny?"
---> did not go over well. Scratch that one.

so I modified it

"hey guys, im looking for some ppl with a mild alcoholism that are entertaining to me."
girls: "blahbalhbalh"
me: "ok cool, cause if you guys had a moderate alcolism i might not be able to understand what you are saying"

"hey im bored when theres no live music playing, are you guys entertaining?"
cute girls: "huh? yea"
me: "okay cool. cause im looking for some people that i can talk to for my own amusement"

----> did not go over well


me: "hey is your hair real?"
hotblond w/ 2 friends with her: "huh? you mean like that color?"
me: "no i mean like is it a wig?"
hotblond: "noooooo!"
me: "if i pull it, will it move?" <I pull it> "it moved!!"
then I start talking about some random thing, and this cutish sorta nice-girl looking short blond in the group starts to drift (ie not focus on me) so I punish her "I totally hate you!" her: "whyyyyyy" "because you have worse add than I do" her : "I cant hear you" me: <going up closer beside her, and cupping my hands on my mouth to make a cone near her ear, "HOW ABOUT NOW, CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?" "yea" "cool" I lean back against a post locking myself in, the brunette had wandered away and then short one starts whhispering in blond ones ear and referencing back to me. I dont take the two steps to close the gap, and they are boring me at this point because all they did was take it without givin it so I wander off to the next source of stimulus.

eventaully im buying another double even though ive only half finished the one in my other hand. 3 girls sort of come up behind me so that means at least one of them is attracted to me. Time to have some fun.

so i turn my back to the bar, so its me facing out and the 3 of them facing in. Even though im pretty wasted one girl pulls a stool up so to sorta trap me against the bar. Im talking and shooting the [censored] for a little while, and I think eventually I asked them whether or not if i have say about 7 drinks a night 5 nights a week if thats considered alcoholism. The semi-attractive girl that seems to like me gets an upset look on her face and... SLAPS ME! wtf! she then gives me the "dont do that! you are bad!" look and then reinforces it with words to match the expression.

Within the next couple minutes when the slap girl is digging me more, and the far girl in the group of 3 is engaged by random loser guy, the blond girl besides the slap girl is liek , "thats my sister".
I respond with, "okay".
her: "stop hitting on my sister".
me: "haha I dont care".

she then gives me the finger.
me: "I'll do ya one better" <I had just finished one of my doubles, so i put the glass down on the bar. Then i put my other double down so to have both hands free>

I then give her the finger with each hand at once. She has the "omg" look on her face. I was probably smiling smugly while i did it but I dont remember exactly if i was.

Blond girl tries to insult me based on my badass leather jacket. I disregard her comments in the usual way, which is being fcompletely nonreactive and saying something like "yea whatever" while leaning back.

Eventually she throws MORE [censored] tests at me, if thats at all possible. And I respond with, "yea maybe if you were a little less presumptuous with perfect strangers, youd realize how completely out of line you are. And if I werent gay, id already have her."

Then seated girl is like, "argggg why did you have to do that to my sister. I used to like you." me: "yea whatever"

then collectively they are like , "ok you have to go now"
my response: "hah. Im standing HERE. Im not going anywhere. you guys can do whatever you want, it doesnt matter to me"
them: "leave"
me: <reaching for my blackberry, I pull it out, start doing phone things while not moving at all, meanwhile they are looking at me expecting me to keep engaging them>

girls : "blah blah blah his trendy black berry" trying to neg hit me! aha. I ignore them and continue to use my browser.

within a minute they're like, "..... we were just having fun, we're sorry" "can you not be mad at us??"
me: "im not mad"
girls: "yes you are"
me: "ok"

"we're sorry"

They seem struck for words. Ive been so noncaring to them I felt that if i were to have a sudden change of heart, it wouldnt make any sense. So since my anti-ammo was out, and their [censored]-ammo was out, I turn around to the bar, and start waiting for another drink.

girls can be so retarded. fwiw that was the most [censored] ive EVER gotten from what appeared to be 7/10s. Especially on a monday night, where when girls go out its with the intention of getting [censored] faced and [censored] by a hot guy - more than any other night i think.

I did my final tally for the night and i think I only got like 3 numbers. One was from this short fun cute italian looking girl who was obviously out looking for an attractive guyy and is in denial about why she asked me for my number. She was like yea ill be your wingwoman and you can be my wingman. This is actually more promissing than the other two numbers imo. She said she did it with her guy friends a lot and was empathetic to me moving to a new city so hopefully she'll be good. Also her hotter friend was hitting on me earlier before she dissapeared into the night so id prbaobbly see her again eventually.


At te end of the night after everything was closing down, outside the bars on the streets of vancouver, there was a guy playing guitar. im plasterd but i play. When plasterd i dont play well so i give him like 3 dollars and play his guitar for 10 min mediocrely. i got no tips from passers by!

[bigbabyjesus]

10/10 Alpha

[Dan BRIGHT]

also from one of the girls that i got a number from we had this conversation:

her: "blah blah blah"
me: "yea whatever, but if some guy were to slap you on your ass youd like it"
her: "you gotta pay for that!"
me: "like ten bucks?"
her: "@@@@%@@@@ !!!!!!" <taking offense>
me: <before she can get another word in> " I mean in investment. you mean you have to pay in time"
her: "ya"

close! almost blew myself out. I think it got us talkign about how in everyday life of course shed want to be treated like a lady, but in the bedroom its naughty and all bets are off.

also now if a girl asks me if im gay i tell them the reason they ask is because they are atracted to me and thinking of sleeping with me. Thats if logistics dont pertain for me to just kiss them instantly after and drive them insane!

[doubLe a tom]

cliffs pls

[Dan BRIGHT]

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cliffs pls

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read it or shut it

[doubLe a tom]

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cliffs pls

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read it or shut it

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tl;ngr

[LonesomeFugitive]

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cliffs pls

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[doubLe a tom]

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cliffs pls

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[bmwguy525]

Dan can you post the picture you had for your old avatar so we can use it to make some "Dan Bright is Free!" shirts or somethin?

Then you can have other 2+2'ers wear them when you go out and then you will instantly be a god and have an awesome conversation starter

[Dan BRIGHT]

nah I dont tihnk so. I like my current avatar. Also what conversation starter can top me telling them I punshed my ex gf in the stomach cause she got preggers.... or saying "hey, I have something for you <with something in my hand palmed>" then I open up their hand and place mine face down and use my other hand to close their hand on an ice cube i found palmed and gave to them like a gift.