Beat: lost my rent money

[centaurmyth]

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I need to find something else that gives me a kick in a more healthy way. Sports, for instance, or falling in love.

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falling in love is a temporary high that, upon coming down from, you will seek out that high again. read: drugs, hookers, gambling, etc... repeat cycle.

it's obvious that you/I/we can only find something larger that you can contribute to (GA for some) or another community of people you care about actively (pick one), or a cause worthy of your time (say writing reflections upon the human condition as a struggling over-age adolescent male in civ society). this, combined with other difficult yet positively reinforcing commitments (exercise, team sports, etc.) will re-direct that impulse positively.

more highs and lows from falling in love will only serve as a temporary reprieve. don't take my word for it, ask around to other men you trust (oh, wait...). it's the same impulse for desire for deeper life misdirected towards a desire for gratification wearing a different skirt. imo.